P
Passing By
Guest
Hi folks,
I need to get responses - I've just had an awful brutal past 2 hour panic attack and OCD event. Here is a little background on me.
23 years old, straight, love my girlfriend, both psychiatrist and doctor declared me with severe ocd. on 225mg of effexor a day, and now just starting a herbal program that has been proven to permanently remove ocd - takes 1-3 years of daily dosing though.
I have had OCD since I was 5. To say the thoughts are a habit is an understatement.
I just saw an ad on the internet for getting "ripped" abs etc... and my HOCD fear kicked in. I started staring at the picture for 20 minutes with the purpose of NOT getting aroused, in order to prove I'm not a flamer. Well my heart was beating at 123123123 beats a minute.
I didn't get a full erection so I figured I would try even harder. I started picturing the person in the picture to masturbate and I got scared, felt a groinal response, and somehow got an erection. I don't know why! Perhaps my brain was imagining how it feels since I have masturbated in my lifetime too. It was an awful experience.
So i've spent the last 2 hours looking and comparing pictures of bikinis and women to guys in underwear or something with the intent of getting an erection on the bikini pictures and losing that erection on the guy picture.
It's disgusting. I want no part of that. I'm just looking for comments or similar events.. something! I want it to go away.
I need to get responses - I've just had an awful brutal past 2 hour panic attack and OCD event. Here is a little background on me.
23 years old, straight, love my girlfriend, both psychiatrist and doctor declared me with severe ocd. on 225mg of effexor a day, and now just starting a herbal program that has been proven to permanently remove ocd - takes 1-3 years of daily dosing though.
I have had OCD since I was 5. To say the thoughts are a habit is an understatement.
I just saw an ad on the internet for getting "ripped" abs etc... and my HOCD fear kicked in. I started staring at the picture for 20 minutes with the purpose of NOT getting aroused, in order to prove I'm not a flamer. Well my heart was beating at 123123123 beats a minute.
I didn't get a full erection so I figured I would try even harder. I started picturing the person in the picture to masturbate and I got scared, felt a groinal response, and somehow got an erection. I don't know why! Perhaps my brain was imagining how it feels since I have masturbated in my lifetime too. It was an awful experience.
So i've spent the last 2 hours looking and comparing pictures of bikinis and women to guys in underwear or something with the intent of getting an erection on the bikini pictures and losing that erection on the guy picture.
It's disgusting. I want no part of that. I'm just looking for comments or similar events.. something! I want it to go away.