Help reconnecting with "the one that got away"

Shoegazer

Member
Hello everybody,

My name is corey, I am (obviously) brand new to the forum and I have an interesting situation that I have no idea how to handle at the moment. Before I go on, I just want to inform you that this is complicated and hard for me to describe with out going into detail at least a bit.. so, I apologize if this becomes a bit lengthy. I will give you the backstory first, as this should make everything a bit more clear for you.

Now several years ago, I met and befriended this girl in high school and we nearly dated eachother. Note that I said high school... I'm sure you can already do the math there. We were both young and dumb in our own different ways back then and it never worked out. It seems typical that when this happens to two people, that they would just forget eachother and move on. This was the case for me and any other girl that I had liked at one point, but not with this girl. Even though we didn't talk a whole lot after this school year, it was obvious that there was still some unresolved feelings between us when we would talk. Then I left high school and hardly saw her at all. But once in a blue moon I'd bump into her and... the feelings were STILL there (to an extent at least). The majority of the things I am speaking of occured back in the later half of the last decade, just so you know.

Now fast forward to present times... A couple of months back, I was friended by her on Facebook out of the blue. Then one day, she posts a new picture of herself. I don't know what it was, but my heart literally skipped a beat upon seeing this picture and BOOM.. all those feelings came rushing back.. and they're STRONG. Ever since this happened, I cannot stop thinking about her. I would love to see her again, but the idea of trying to talk to her again is where I got stuck at the fork in the road. This stuff has always been a bit of a challenge for me though.

I just really do not know how I should go about this. First of all, idk if I should just be trying to talk to her and catch up for now (like over FB).. or if I should just flat out ask her to go out sometime. Second, I've thought of several different ways of contacting her, but I keep finding faults in every idea that makes me unsure. The easiest example I came up with was just sending her a message/IM... But I am totally clueless as to how she would react to a message out of nowhere from somebody she never hears from. I am being completely sincere though, and if she is going to be weirded out or upset by me talking to her out of the blue.. then maybe it isn't worth it anyways? (It just seems like everyone has totally different reactions to things like this) Or is this a risk I should just be willing to take?? It's very hard for me to tell at this point naturally. I will provide more examples as well, if needed.

Well, if you've gotten this far, then I'd like to thank you for taking the time to listen! This is pretty much just the jist of my "situation", and I guess I am just looking for any info/input/etc. on this, because again.. I'm pretty lost here! I can provide any additional info as needed, because I am sure there are somethings you still maybe wondering. And there are quite a bit of details that I left out in order to keep this as short as possible. Once again, thank you for your time and any input!
 

DeLasDudasInfinitas

Well-known member
I think that you should write her a message to catch up. She friended you, didn't she? So I don't think that she will get upset. Then it would be a good idea to ask her to go out with you sometime. I hope that everything will go well. Good luck! :)
 

Section_31

Well-known member
I think that you should write her a message to catch up. She friended you, didn't she? So I don't think that she will get upset. Then it would be a good idea to ask her to go out with you sometime. I hope that everything will go well. Good luck! :)

I agree! She added you, now the ball is in your court. I think the fact she added you is a green light. Shoot her a msg and see how it feels, then maybe ask her to go for coffee or somthing?. Keep it a nuetral but friendly atmosphere.
 

Shoegazer

Member
So, I finally got around to sending her a message last night and she flat out isn't responding. I'm pretty sure she has seen the message and I know she has been on since I sent it because she was posting other things today.. thoughts???
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Hello everybody,

My name is corey, I am (obviously) brand new to the forum and I have an interesting situation that I have no idea how to handle at the moment. Before I go on, I just want to inform you that this is complicated and hard for me to describe with out going into detail at least a bit.. so, I apologize if this becomes a bit lengthy. I will give you the backstory first, as this should make everything a bit more clear for you.

Now several years ago, I met and befriended this girl in high school and we nearly dated eachother. Note that I said high school... I'm sure you can already do the math there. We were both young and dumb in our own different ways back then and it never worked out. It seems typical that when this happens to two people, that they would just forget eachother and move on. This was the case for me and any other girl that I had liked at one point, but not with this girl. Even though we didn't talk a whole lot after this school year, it was obvious that there was still some unresolved feelings between us when we would talk. Then I left high school and hardly saw her at all. But once in a blue moon I'd bump into her and... the feelings were STILL there (to an extent at least). The majority of the things I am speaking of occured back in the later half of the last decade, just so you know.

Now fast forward to present times... A couple of months back, I was friended by her on Facebook out of the blue. Then one day, she posts a new picture of herself. I don't know what it was, but my heart literally skipped a beat upon seeing this picture and BOOM.. all those feelings came rushing back.. and they're STRONG. Ever since this happened, I cannot stop thinking about her. I would love to see her again, but the idea of trying to talk to her again is where I got stuck at the fork in the road. This stuff has always been a bit of a challenge for me though.

I just really do not know how I should go about this. First of all, idk if I should just be trying to talk to her and catch up for now (like over FB).. or if I should just flat out ask her to go out sometime. Second, I've thought of several different ways of contacting her, but I keep finding faults in every idea that makes me unsure. The easiest example I came up with was just sending her a message/IM... But I am totally clueless as to how she would react to a message out of nowhere from somebody she never hears from. I am being completely sincere though, and if she is going to be weirded out or upset by me talking to her out of the blue.. then maybe it isn't worth it anyways? (It just seems like everyone has totally different reactions to things like this) Or is this a risk I should just be willing to take?? It's very hard for me to tell at this point naturally. I will provide more examples as well, if needed.

Well, if you've gotten this far, then I'd like to thank you for taking the time to listen! This is pretty much just the jist of my "situation", and I guess I am just looking for any info/input/etc. on this, because again.. I'm pretty lost here! I can provide any additional info as needed, because I am sure there are somethings you still maybe wondering. And there are quite a bit of details that I left out in order to keep this as short as possible. Once again, thank you for your time and any input!

DUDE! She friended you. I have a feeling she likes you. Just ask her out! I think you'll regret it if you don't.
Good luck. :)
 

Shoegazer

Member
DUDE! She friended you. I have a feeling she likes you. Just ask her out! I think you'll regret it if you don't.
Good luck. :)

I would certainly like to.. but if she isn't going to respond to my greeting in the first place, then I honestly don't know what to think or do. I am still waiting for a reply as far as I know..
 

gummybear22

Well-known member
maybe she forgot about it. i forget stuff ALLLL the time. have to make notes to myself about school stuff. send her another one askin if she'd wanna catch up over lunch or coffee. those are more regular than dinner-dinner seems more datey. if it was me askin somebody to catch up, i'd pick lunch and eat it outside the restaurant at their tables.

another thing is she may just not be one to get back to people's messages right after seeing them. one of my close friends can take forever and stIll not reply. i say give it another go.
 
Last edited:

Shoegazer

Member
So I gave her another day and a half now and still nothing.. :sad:
I understand what you mean gummy, it's just that I get this all the time on FB with multiple different people. I'll try to talk to someone or make plans and they just don't say anything back at all.....I just don't get it. And these are the same people I've talked to for years now, all the way back when Myspace was still a thing and I always got a reply back then. But somewhere along the line a while back, it's like everyone just suddenly stopped being responsive.

I am still contemplating sending her another message, but I was planning on being pretty straight forward about the other message. I am not going to be mean or anything, but I was going to tell her that if she doesn't want to talk to me for whatever reason to just tell me. We're not teenagers anymore.. I just don't want to be deliberatly blown off or have to deal with mind games.

Otherwise, Thank you again everybody for the help and replies. It means alot more than you know.
 

gummybear22

Well-known member
i agree with the thing about 'tell me if you don't wanna talk to me' instead of havin to deal with silence. i get that silence can speak louder than words, but i'd still rather have the actual words. it's more concrete.
i'd message her about that, and if she still doesn't respond, that's a response. and move on to better pastures.
 
Top