mlbfan30
New member
Here's my situation...I hope it's not too long.
I'm 20. I go to a private engineering school. I'm really smart and I look very good. But I have a very hard time socializing. I've always been very quiet my entire life, and I don't know how to change that. More backround.... Between 7-14 i was a gymnast, and a very good one. I basically had zero friends from school and just went to the gym everyday. I went there from school until 7:00 then did Homework. But I didn't really care since I loved the sport. Then I suffered a back injury that forced me to quit. I can't really explain how much that hurts emotionally, even today. Then going though HS I played soccer and kind of felt left out the entire time. I'm really athletic so I love playing sports, it's when I'm most comfortable. But I might have had 2-3 friends in HS who lived close by. I went to college and my parents moved to another state, so now I don't know anyone there. But back to school... I'm kind of stuck in a situation where I know so many people around me from classes or w/e, but I don't know how to become friends with them. The main thing is I don't know what to say, for anything. I'll give 1 word answers and that's it. Its just really frustrating. I don't like being around large groups of people, especially ones I don't know. I want to be outgoing, but I just don't know how. Back to sports... I joined the diving team as a freshman and again I kind of felt out of place with the swimmers. Several people were really friendly, and I tried to be friendly back, but it just didn't work. I wanted to be friends with them but again I didn't know how. But because of diving causing my injury to hurt more, I decided to get another surgery over the summer. (last summer). It really sucked since I didn't know anyone, was in horrible pain, and was stuck inside for 3 months. I get back to school and the school won't let me dive because of the surgery. I really liked diving, and the people I dove with, but i wasn't allowed to do it. My back actually hurts more now than before the 2nd surgery, so I havn't been able to play sports at all. I've been stuck in my room doing homework with pretty much no interaction with other people. I'm very emotionless. I rarely laugh or smile and look angry all the time (even tho i'm not). I'm so quiet everywhere I go. I'm just getting tired of it, but i dont know what to do. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, have SAD (which i just heard of), or something else. I'm not sure if being in 24/7 pain has anything to do with it, or limited social interaction when I was younger, or something actually messed up in the brain. It seems like life is monotonous and boring. I'm extremely unhappy and have been for a long time, but I don't know how to change that.
I know this was poorly organized, and might be in the wrong section, but I'd like to see what other people have to say.
I'm 20. I go to a private engineering school. I'm really smart and I look very good. But I have a very hard time socializing. I've always been very quiet my entire life, and I don't know how to change that. More backround.... Between 7-14 i was a gymnast, and a very good one. I basically had zero friends from school and just went to the gym everyday. I went there from school until 7:00 then did Homework. But I didn't really care since I loved the sport. Then I suffered a back injury that forced me to quit. I can't really explain how much that hurts emotionally, even today. Then going though HS I played soccer and kind of felt left out the entire time. I'm really athletic so I love playing sports, it's when I'm most comfortable. But I might have had 2-3 friends in HS who lived close by. I went to college and my parents moved to another state, so now I don't know anyone there. But back to school... I'm kind of stuck in a situation where I know so many people around me from classes or w/e, but I don't know how to become friends with them. The main thing is I don't know what to say, for anything. I'll give 1 word answers and that's it. Its just really frustrating. I don't like being around large groups of people, especially ones I don't know. I want to be outgoing, but I just don't know how. Back to sports... I joined the diving team as a freshman and again I kind of felt out of place with the swimmers. Several people were really friendly, and I tried to be friendly back, but it just didn't work. I wanted to be friends with them but again I didn't know how. But because of diving causing my injury to hurt more, I decided to get another surgery over the summer. (last summer). It really sucked since I didn't know anyone, was in horrible pain, and was stuck inside for 3 months. I get back to school and the school won't let me dive because of the surgery. I really liked diving, and the people I dove with, but i wasn't allowed to do it. My back actually hurts more now than before the 2nd surgery, so I havn't been able to play sports at all. I've been stuck in my room doing homework with pretty much no interaction with other people. I'm very emotionless. I rarely laugh or smile and look angry all the time (even tho i'm not). I'm so quiet everywhere I go. I'm just getting tired of it, but i dont know what to do. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, have SAD (which i just heard of), or something else. I'm not sure if being in 24/7 pain has anything to do with it, or limited social interaction when I was younger, or something actually messed up in the brain. It seems like life is monotonous and boring. I'm extremely unhappy and have been for a long time, but I don't know how to change that.
I know this was poorly organized, and might be in the wrong section, but I'd like to see what other people have to say.
