Hello, My first post!

Nytro

Well-known member
Hi everyone,

For past 2 months I have come to realize that I have SAD. I felt different from the world, like an outsider and since last June I have not even begun looking for another Job because of my fears with peer interaction. (Basically @hole employees and customers). Im a huge thinker, we all are, I mean thats how weve come to relize our anxieties and problems with ppl and the fear of being judged or making ourselves look like an ass.

Well Ive done a few things to help myself out and hopefully with more progress I can be free of my fears. Here are some things I have done and I must say they helped ease the pain at least 50%.

1st saw my doctor, he told me I had SAD, recommended Lexapro. And then helped me find a therapist.

Halted the lexapro, but what I did was Typed report of myself what has caused my SAD. Read it out loud to the therapist, Put it in an envelope addressed it to (whomever) and burned it. Symbolism is the best :D

Bought a whole lot of books cheap online dealing with SAD, Shyness, how to make small talk and communication skills, and self esteem I can list them if you wish.

Lexapro made me very tired so I supplimented it with St. Johns Wort 2 a day :D

Having gained 30lbs I have been running and exercising, increses the endorphines. Besides a better looking body cant hurt, it may take loads of stress off.

And have been eating alot less acidic food like meats and such. Instead with more vegetables and fruits more alkaline.

Try this as well breathing when you get nervous helps Take deep breath through nose for 1 part hold for 4 then relase for 2. (10 seconds breath, 40 seconds hold and 20 seconds release) 5 times every day.

I used to go to bed late at night but now 12-1 am wake up early and start up my day fresh.

Reading my books in the backyard with sunlight helps, you get a tan and you get a whole lot of good vitamins the sun has to offer. I dont use sunblock just sit out there for 2 hours or until you feel youve had enough.

Another thing that has really enhanced my SAD is that I lack making good small talk. (comes with the package of SAD 8O ) So read up on improving all your self worth and youll feel your striving at overcoming this.

Ive been doing this for a week now and feel fantastic, I probalby wont be working as a waiter or anything but I probably will feel a whole lot better, maybe you will too it cant hurt right?

If you have any input or ideas please feel free to share, Im doing everything in my power to overcome my SAD and would like to share why I probalby developed SAD.
 

PhantomPod

Well-known member
Hey, wow, go you! It sounds like you've been doing really good so far. Definitely keep it up.

I've been trying to overcome my shyness myself and one thing I do, which might be good for you aswell, is keep a journal of my ups and downs. Like if I go out to dinner and do a good job talking to the waiter and making good eye contact, or if I make small talk with a cashier in a store, I'll write it down in a notebook. I also write down when bad things happen that make me feel shy, nervous, or anxious. Like just the other day I was on a subway (and hadn't been on one since I began starting to overcome my shyness) and I found myself feeling really self-concious and feeling like everyone was looking at me and judging me.

So by writing down the good things you're able to look back at the things you've accomplished when you have off days and start feeling discouraged. And by writing the bad things, it really helps you pinpoint situations that make you feel most anxious, so you'll be able to work on those areas.

Also, I highly recommend this website: http://www.angelfire.com/super2/overcomingshyness/index.html
I love it. It really helped me, and when/if I'm feeling down I like to go back to that site and read through it and it will get me all motivated again.

I hope you continue doing well, best of luck!
 

Nytro

Well-known member
That journal idea sounds like an excellent idea. But I dont blame you feeling nervous on the subway, everyone is looking around at each other. Think of it this way though in a positive way, Bring a newspaper or something else, perhaps a walkman. Pretend like your taking a nap or be focused on the paper, when the bad thoughts come in accept them but keep your focus more on the papar (Like turning up your mental volume on the reading.) Most likely youll forget about the phobia.

See the one thing that scares the hell out of me is when you forget what you were worrying about I seems to be in the nature for our brains to find what we were worrying about and the process kicks on again 8O that can be a huge pain in the @ss.

When I worked at a local food store, the 2nd busiest one in the franchise in NJ, I was a dairy clerk, when they wanted me to load the milk, eggs, and juice everything was behind the scenes, in this cooler. It was like solitary confienment and its those quiet times when all you have to yourself are your thoughts can be torture.

One other thing when you write in your journal do you write all the events that have made you feel the way you do. If so dont, Dont think too deeply on the past and just think of ways how you could destract yourself from feeling anxiety, or the extra little things you have done that day that might have made you feel more confident in your self.

In this world i believe confidence is key, Ive had days where Ive touched base with a stranger and made them laugh or feel good about themselves. After that I feel im in the "ZONE", no more anxiety or phobia that entire day, because I feel as if I have won a point against my SAD. But then the next day comes and I feel its a fresh start, I lose my spark. If I found a way to constantly get that spark maybe I would never have to worry about SAD again. Other times days I fail in my conversation attempts I feel I failed the whole day. It really sux.

Ever think, what would I be like if i was born into a diffrent family, and Id then become the life of the party. You have to be positive on SAD, we have a gift we may dwell on stupid crap but we have a huge ability to think. I think to myself instead of I cant do it, replace that with how can I do it. Someday you may find yourself inventing, creating, learning some amazing stuff. We think outside of the box, now thats a gift!
 

Nytro

Well-known member
PHANTOM POD! I love ya man! That site you gave me is awsome. For my own perspective in no longer going to refer to myself as having SAD. Im not a F'n label im a human being thats socially challenged :D. Dont focus on what your handicaps are but what you can do to improve.
 

PhantomPod

Well-known member
Yeah, that's what I just tried to do on the subway. I just tried to think of other things. And then this weekend I was on the subway again and I did much better than last time, and wasn't all worrying about what others might have been thinking of me.

Confidence is definitely key. It's funny how sometimes our confidence levels will be so high and we'll be feeling great, and then the next day you could be feeling all insecure and feeling bad about youself again.

Oh, I always think about what it would be like if I was the life of the party. Like my brother is just a year older than me and he's really popular and goes out every night and has tons of friends, and I'd always kind of wonder why I couldn't be like that.

I'm glad you found the site helpful! I love that site.
 

Nytro

Well-known member
Absolutly

Have you ever went out one day, had a conversation with someone, and you actually made them very happy or feel good? Whenever I go against my grain and make the effort on days when I dont feel as down and things go on my favor I automatically get into what I call the "Zone". I feel so good on my accomplishment that nothing can bother me the whole day! :p I even get a little more cocky, suave and confident in what I say, because for that day I feel like a champion. But whats strange is once i go to bed and wake up to a fresh day I feel as if Im back to square one again and all kinds of things can put me down and some of the symptoms of SAD return to haunt me once again. :twisted:

What I need to figure out exactly is how to get in this "zone"every day for the rest of my life. Because I know that is my true self locked up within my SAD. See if I do make another attempt and I lose the persons intrest in a conversation, agrivated, insulted, etc. I feel as if I failed. I have a hard time overcoming failure but im currently in the process to figure out some way to always get myself in the 'Zone". I hope you can find your own "zone" too. :D

PhantomPod: Check out the dating sites sosuave.com and the others that the 26 year old guy recommended in his links. Another thing make some kind of experement with your brother. Try to hang out with him more and try to see his actions or what he may say to women or his friends. And like that guy says, Dont try to follow MTV and do everything they say because its considered "cool", Be your own person stick up for what you believe but learning a few tips and tricks from your brother or his friends couldnt hurt. Perhaps itll all come in handy some day. :D
 
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