Hello AVPDers I am NEW here.

Hello My name is Langston. I am a 22 year old female. I am currently a college student suffering with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have absolutely zero friends. Whenever I do have friends, they never stay or they make me their last resort. Part of me wants to have a friend, but the other half of me is so shy and anxious around people to where I cannot handle it. I do consider myself to be a very lonely person. Everyday is the usual for me, sitting in my room and never leaving the house. I have a cellphone but no one ever calls it & no one ever contacts me other than my family. When I do get a whole of a friend, I tend to be too overwhelming and rather clingy because I am not used to having friends.

I wish that I can find an equal medium that could satisfy me with my personality disorder. Whenever I tell someone that I have this issue, they tend to obliviously and inconspicously distance themselves from me. I don't know where else to turn other than surrendering.

Hello Langston and welcome. You remind me of me. When you get a friend, be sure to let them know about your condition so that they'll know how to deal with anything they think is weird or unsettling.

I guess you should just accept it. Problems don't get fixed until you accept their existence and effect in your life. After that, try to find a solution to that problem. Have you spoken to a counselor/therapist before? You'll find a lot of people here with stories similar to yours, so I hope that they can help you.

Greetings and salutations, Langston.

AvPD can be a lonely fist fight of a battle.

First, stop thinkin so much. That's always the first bit of advice I give and it's true. You don't seem to mention much about thoughts and overthinking in your post. I bet, however, you think lots about words spoken and actions performed.

Sometimes all we need is to shrug, meh. Then move forward.

LunchedBox said:

Hello My name is Langston. I am a 22 year old female. I am currently a college student suffering with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have absolutely zero friends. Whenever I do have friends, they never stay or they make me their last resort. Part of me wants to have a friend, but the other half of me is so shy and anxious around people to where I cannot handle it. I do consider myself to be a very lonely person. Everyday is the usual for me, sitting in my room and never leaving the house. I have a cellphone but no one ever calls it & no one ever contacts me other than my family. When I do get a whole of a friend, I tend to be too overwhelming and rather clingy because I am not used to having friends.

I wish that I can find an equal medium that could satisfy me with my personality disorder. Whenever I tell someone that I have this issue, they tend to obliviously and inconspicously distance themselves from me. I don't know where else to turn other than surrendering.

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I can relate to that.

LunchedBox said:

I tend to be too overwhelming and rather clingy because I am not used to having friends.

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I worry that because I have so few friends, I am too intense with the ones I have, because I'm so focused on them

And yes I'm torn between wanting to be with them and not wanting to be with them because it gets to be too much.

Anyway, welcome to SPW, fellow AvPDer. I hope it helps being somewhere where you can tell people you have this issue, and they'll understand. It helps me.