charlie-lola
Member
Hi people, Im new to this site, just thought id come on and have a moan as Im feeling super pissed off today.
Ive had social phobia for 11 years, since I was 15, along with depression and borderline personality disorder. I just feel so isolated. My anxiety is with me everywhere I go, and the only place I do go now is to bring my son to school each day and pick him up, his school is a 10 minute walk from my home and this short journey is like mental torture each day. I broke down in tears today when I thought back to when I was 13/14 and could go everywhere and do everything by myself, I cant believe there was ever a time when I didnt have this horrible disorder, and I really feel like its never going to leave me, I cant see me ever being the way I was, and this thought makes me feel so hopeless about the rest of my life. Also, being Borderline means my moods/emotions change rapidly, one minute i love someone and the next I can switch to hating them over miniscule things, im impulsive and say/do inappropriate things and offend/upset people, to name but afew- so, if I happen to make friends, I tend to lose them even faster. Ive totally given up on finding a happy relationship with a guy, as I dont even know myself, how can I expect someone else to know me. Life just feels so hopeless at the moment.
Ive had social phobia for 11 years, since I was 15, along with depression and borderline personality disorder. I just feel so isolated. My anxiety is with me everywhere I go, and the only place I do go now is to bring my son to school each day and pick him up, his school is a 10 minute walk from my home and this short journey is like mental torture each day. I broke down in tears today when I thought back to when I was 13/14 and could go everywhere and do everything by myself, I cant believe there was ever a time when I didnt have this horrible disorder, and I really feel like its never going to leave me, I cant see me ever being the way I was, and this thought makes me feel so hopeless about the rest of my life. Also, being Borderline means my moods/emotions change rapidly, one minute i love someone and the next I can switch to hating them over miniscule things, im impulsive and say/do inappropriate things and offend/upset people, to name but afew- so, if I happen to make friends, I tend to lose them even faster. Ive totally given up on finding a happy relationship with a guy, as I dont even know myself, how can I expect someone else to know me. Life just feels so hopeless at the moment.