Has anyone joined any meetings of self-help SA groups?

hi, this is my first post in the SA forum. I am 34 and I suffer from anxiety since i was 23 yrs old. My social anxiety has become worse by the years and now i find difficult to be open and myself even with my close friends. I have a few friends still and they dont know about my SA. Obviously they can see that im anxious when i meet them but i never talk openly about it and they never ask. As a result i feel quite lonely as i can not speak to anyone that i know about how i feel.

So i just discovered that there are some SA meeting groups taking place in London and i thought of trying that out as a way of meeting people that are likeminded and understand. But the idea of joining a group is abit overwhelming so i thought of posting in the forum to get some feedback from people that tried out these meetings.It would be really helpful if you share any experiences and if u think that joining these groups was helpful 2 u,thanks in advance

Hi secret_dream,

I'm 26 and although i've always been anxious i just started getting symptoms of SA (and admitted to myself that i had it) about a year ago. Things went bad pretty quick and i joined a group at my uni in Australia. The thinkg you've got to remember is that although the thought of going is extremely anxiety-provoking, EVERYONE who is there feels exactly the same and the worst part is actually going there for the first time. Did it help? It definitely didn't hurt. We met once a week for about 2 hours (about 10-15 of us) and it went for about 8 weeks. It involved a bit of participation which can be hard at first but you soon realise everyone feels the same and that makes it easier to open up. Its good just being able to talk about it to people because like you (and probly a symptom of SA), you cannot talk to anyone about this cos i think it would just make it harder. So i've never told friends or family and just kind've hide it. Our group thing wasn't specific for SA (just anxiety in general) but we covered things like how our body reponds to anxiety and why, understanding the thought processes behind it, coping strategies etc (like relaxation techniques/meditation), and included filling out sheets with your own experiences and sharing it with the group.

Anyway i found it helped me a great deal (especially at the time) but its no quick fix. I recommend it purely for the fact that it feels a lot better to talk and get stuff off your chest, and helps you to understand your anxiety a lot more and try to find ways to cope with it better. And as you said, its good to meet like-minded people.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi tool1919, your reply hepls alot. It helps because it gave me a realistic idea of what to expect from these groups.I had a bad experience in the past with NLP and psychotherapy courses in which you had to do alot of participating and role play. I ended up giving up on the courses as i couldnt cope with the demands of being in a group. However, as you said the difference is that in the SA groups everybody has the same problem and im sure that after the first time it gets alot better.

I definitely dont expect miracles but if it helps me the way it did to you ill be happy. Especially the idea that i can share my feelings with understanding people is the most appealing to me. I tried many relaxation techniques and coping stategies on my own with short term results but perhaps being in agroup will help the most.Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experiences as i feel more encouraged to do it now. Be well and take care

Yes I did join a group it was once a week for six weeks.

I did that back when I was 17, I has SA for about a year or 2 by that stage. Now im 25.

Well anyway, yes it was good. First time, and only time, Iv been in a room were every single person has some manner of agoraphobia or other anxiety disorder. It was good I enjoyed it. Got along with a few people, made a friend out of one of them, and learned a bit too.

Id recommend giving it a go.

thanks tommy_15 i think the more i think about it the more ill join and see what happens. I actually emailed the organizer and im waiting his reply. I think i just needed a boost of confidence which i got from your answers.Thanks and tk care

Your welcome. You take care too and good luck with it.

No worries. Good luck with it and hope it helps.

Igot reaally good results going to meets organised via the site www.social-anxiety.org.uk both in Glasgow and a couple of times in London. These were more social, like practicing your social skills just by having normal conversations, and we didn't do any role-play or stuff or even talk about shyness all that much. Just being around people and being accepted helped me. I got such good results from the meets I wrote a web page about it - you can read my story at

www.geocities.com/nelconsult

Now that I am a bit less shy I don't want my social life to only be with other shy people, so I have joined several groups through the site www.meetup.com

I have found these groups very enjoyable, for example one for coffee lovers just called "Coffee and Conversation" has a nice mix of people from different countries and also there are groups for people wanting to speak Spanish (like myself) or movie fans etc. etc.

I think there is a London group for the shy available through Meetup.com - maybe you'd want to hunt that down. Personally I would struggle in a self-help book with role-plays and a need for personal disclosure but perhaps that is just me.

Good luck with whatever group you decide to join, please come back here and post on this thread to tell us how it worked out for you.

Colin

Hi I run a SocialAnxietyMeetup group thru a site name meetup.com and let me tell you its a lot of fun. At first it was fustrating being in or running a group like it cause attendance is alwayse a problem. Never large group but the few that do show up have a good time.

We dont even end up talking about SA. The first few minutes we do but we always stray to other topic like normal people.

Whats amazing about the meetup is how talkative the members alwayse are. You would think it would be total silence but all i do is just sit back and enjoy listening to them talk. I guess its all that pent up disire to speak.

If you can attend I recomend that you go even if just to show up for a few minutes and leave.

I went to one, they are the best, all of them (and also your mind tells you that) know what you have been going trough, they won't pressure you to talk, they let you speak, they'll give you very good advice, and they can become your friends. You can organize trips together, etc.

There is no fear at all after a couple of meetings, cause you know everyone does, and they won't judge you badly, they all want to help and maybe become your friend if you allow them.

Try to find them, and once you did it, go. I've seen that our meetup receives a lot of e-mail requests and advice, but just a quarter of the whole members show up.

I should say that it probably takes around 3 times going to a meet before you are fully comfortable and can properly evaluate it whether it can be of benefit to you. The first time I tried to go to a meet I was within 200 yards and could see the organiser outside but I just chickened out. The next time I managed along and enjoyed listening to others but didn't contribute much to the conversation. The third time I started to open up and it got much easier after that, so much so that I eventually started organising meets myself and then even created my own Meetup.com group. I have also had the same experience as the member from Tampa, that attendance can be quite low, I think because it's hard to know how to promote such a group and because many shy people are afraid to take action to address their problem. However a small group is more manageable and less intimidating for newcomers, so it has advantages too, and those who show up seem to enjoy it.

Glad to hear other people have also had good experiences with Meetup. I find it much easier to either tag along or not with something that someone else has organised, where I can leave at any time if I feel uncomfortable, than to try to organise my few friends into a time we can agree on, at a venue we can agree on, and without feeling I need to join them in a drinking session to be sociable - plenty of people at group meets don't drink alcohol at all and are just there for the chat.

Does anyone know anyone in South Africa to start something similar? I so want to meet and interact with people! And go for coffee and more too!

Just want to add that I havent checked the forum for a few days and today i discovered more replies from all of you people that you shared your experierences of these groups.

I still havent joined one as i emailed the organizer of a London SA group and I got no reply. After that, ive forgotten abit about it as it is defintely easier staying at home. But your posts reinforced my need to meet people that understand, an understanding that i dont find from my few friends as im not open for my SA.

Colin thanks so much 4 the the links as through meetup.com i found another SA london group as u said, which im planning to contact soon. Also later on Id defintely like 2 join other groups with similar interests.As i ve very different interests from my friends the meet up groups is a great site to know.

TAMPA-BAY i think that you probably organize the group i found so ill email sooon through the meetup link.

Thanks guys for all your support and ill defintely post after i join.Tk care and be well

Vicky