Girls aren't that great!

shield

shield

Well-known member
Hey guys I always hear people saying that they wish they had a girlfriend etc. In my experience you really don't need one to be happy. Things like hobbies are just as fun as having a girlfriend. I know that when I was a virgin I thought that it would be amazing to have a gf but it isn't. It's nice if you find the right person but the other parts of your life should be just as fulfilling. If you're not feeling good about life right now it's not cos you don't have a girlfriend it's because other things in your life aren't in order.
 
ljwwriter

ljwwriter

Well-known member
I think you're right in many ways, but I also understand how a lot of people don't feel fulfilled without at least experiencing what it's like to have a significant other.
Hobbies are nice but can only go so far. We are human after all. The desire for a relationship is much more powerful (and quite frankly important) than any hobby or anything else that we come up with to distract us from passing time. So while I believe it's definitely a good thing for guys to find hobbies which help take their minds off their lack of girlfriends, I also believe it's only a temporary solution and will not satisfy a lonely heart forever.
 
ripewithdecay

ripewithdecay

Well-known member
I think you both bring up good points, but isn't it ironic how you always hear about the most successful people in the world (celebrities, musicians, etc.) being very lonely and unhappy at the peak of their careers?
 
Coper

Coper

Active member
All this talk of relationships versus hobbies and careers reminds me of an article I once read about a researcher who published a study claiming that great male scientists have tended to publish their best work around the same time that they get married. He theorized that the scientific work was a form of sexual display (and apparently a surprisingly effective one).

Ever since then I've have this caricature in my mind of the sexually frustrated male channeling his sexual energy into ridiculous alternative obsessions, like "Look! Look at me! I just built a 1/4th scale model of the Eiffel tower by welding 8 million pennies together! I just set a Guinness world record by yodeling while balancing upside-down on my fingertips for seven straight days! I just wrote an 800-page postmodern novel from the perspective of a pigeon stuck in the wheel-well of an Antonov AN-225 on a flight from Novgorod to Vladivostok! Now won't someone PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME ALREADY!!!!"

*Sigh* ... I see a little of myself in that caricature, and I wonder if all my high-falutin' intellectual ambitions are just a pathetic substitute for sex.
 
ljwwriter

ljwwriter

Well-known member
Coper said:
*Sigh* ... I see a little of myself in that caricature, and I wonder if all my high-falutin' intellectual ambitions are just a pathetic substitute for sex.
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Honestly, I believe that's the case with everyone. So don't feel alone.
 
Len

Len

Well-known member
I don't think innovation comes from redirecting sexual urges. I think it is just a distraction from life in general. The scientist, actor or pop star does not focus all their energy so that they can have sex but for prestige, money or ambition.

When succesful people have reached the pinnacle of their career they soon realise that all their goals have been satisfied. However, they then realise that success and money doesn't bring them happiness. They may start experimenting with drugs as their only way to get high or feel happy. Then the depression kicks in.

The main religion that drives Western society is wealth, status, happiness and ambition. However, these goals are unacheivable for most people. We can try sex, drugs and alcohol but problems arise when we consume too much. We will never be satisfied as long as we live in this society.

What I am trying to say is...we're fuck3d!

Have a nice day!
 
LinusMaximus

LinusMaximus

Member
Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum, but I took one look at the subject and got pulled right in. I'm married now and I can feel the societal heat off my back, but it was awful for me for a long time. I was extremely shy of course and I had absolutley no self esteem. I did not lose my virginity until I was 27, and that fact alone haunts me to this day. I often wonder what it would have been like, having sex with someone that I loved while all those hormones were still raging. I'll never know. That part of my life was gutted away from me like it never even happend. Just the pain of it remains. I'm still angry about it. Angry at myself. Angry at people who laughed at me. I was going through a hell for all those years, wondering what it would be like. I tried so hard to get girls to like me, but the alphas that I grew up with would rip me to peices every chance they had. Now I'm in my late 40's and I have no particular feeling for women at all. I hate that I feel that way, but I do. How do you deal with the loss of time? :cry:
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
The older i get the more frustrated i become. I mean it's hard for me at 27, who's never had a girlfriend to remain positive. I do throw myself into hobbies but seeing couples everywhere walking hand in hand makes me feel that i am missing out.
 
LinusMaximus

LinusMaximus

Member
recluse, do you feel angry? I know I do and I just wish I could stop feeling that way. It's like that movie "Awakinings" when the nurse walks up to one of the coma patients, (now awake), and expects him to be happy. She asks, "are you alright? How do you feel? and he says, "I feel old! I feel old and cheated!!" That's how I feel.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
Yeah! I feel bitter. I see guys with girlfriends and i think ''Why him, and not me?'' I feel like a freak, and the older i become the less confidence i have in myself.
 
LinusMaximus

LinusMaximus

Member
It's hard not to feel that way. It's also not good, but you can't help how you feel. Not to get off topic, but I have a meeting to go to tomorrow where I have to interact with 20 people. I feel like I'm climbing the walls.
 
faithnomore

faithnomore

Banned
recluse said:
Yeah! I feel bitter. I see guys with girlfriends and i think ''Why him, and not me?'' I feel like a freak, and the older i become the less confidence i have in myself.
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Thats EXACTLY how i feel. I can't stand it. I worked at a till (in the middle of a town) and all day long i'd see couples, and think that bloody sucks, whats so special about those guys!?
 
shield

shield

Well-known member
I think a lot of guys on here who are still virgins should go to a brothel. Guys if it's such a big deal to you being a virgin just go and have sex with some prostitutes. You will be awful at first but who cares you need some practice and I think it will make you feel a whole lot better to just get it out of your system and feel that you are on the same level as everyone else. I did it and that's how I got over my feelings of inferiority for never having had a girlfriend.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
standards

Wow shield thats .........a diffrent advise from wht most of us were probaly expecting but at least you offered a solution instead of the same old same old.

I want to believe that what shield was realy try to say is for all of us to write down our standards and look at them closely objectively. See if the standers we have for relationships are updated i guess. Maby we could even post them as a blog so others can help us test them for realist ness.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
shield said:
I think a lot of guys on here who are still virgins should go to a brothel. Guys if it's such a big deal to you being a virgin just go and have sex with some prostitutes. You will be awful at first but who cares you need some practice and I think it will make you feel a whole lot better to just get it out of your system and feel that you are on the same level as everyone else. I did it and that's how I got over my feelings of inferiority for never having had a girlfriend.
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I don't like the idea, it just shouts desperation to me, and just the thought that the prostitute has been with hundreds even thousands of other guys.
 
Z

zootdroop

Well-known member
shield said:
I think a lot of guys on here who are still virgins should go to a brothel. Guys if it's such a big deal to you being a virgin just go and have sex with some prostitutes. You will be awful at first but who cares you need some practice and I think it will make you feel a whole lot better to just get it out of your system and feel that you are on the same level as everyone else. I did it and that's how I got over my feelings of inferiority for never having had a girlfriend.
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I don't know about anybody else, but me wanting a girlfriend has really nothing to do with sex. I just want somebody who I like and more importantly likes me. I'm sure sex would happen if I found someone, but it's really not the thing that's making me want someone. Being a virgin doesn't bother me in the least. I wanna cuddle and hold hands with a girl more than have sex with one.
 
Z

zootdroop

Well-known member
Kien said:
WHy do we never see girls making these kind of posts?
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My thoughts exactly. It bothers me kinda when I read girls on here saying they are depressed and unhappy and they have a boyfriend. Jeez, I'm always unhappy and depressed cause I don't have a girlfriend.
 
SocialButterSlip

SocialButterSlip

Well-known member
Coper said:
All this talk of relationships versus hobbies and careers reminds me of an article I once read about a researcher who published a study claiming that great male scientists have tended to publish their best work around the same time that they get married. He theorized that the scientific work was a form of sexual display (and apparently a surprisingly effective one).

Ever since then I've have this caricature in my mind of the sexually frustrated male channeling his sexual energy into ridiculous alternative obsessions, like "Look! Look at me! I just built a 1/4th scale model of the Eiffel tower by welding 8 million pennies together! I just set a Guinness world record by yodeling while balancing upside-down on my fingertips for seven straight days! I just wrote an 800-page postmodern novel from the perspective of a pigeon stuck in the wheel-well of an Antonov AN-225 on a flight from Novgorod to Vladivostok! Now won't someone PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME ALREADY!!!!"

*Sigh* ... I see a little of myself in that caricature, and I wonder if all my high-falutin' intellectual ambitions are just a pathetic substitute for sex.
Click to expand...

lol @ ^

girls who i like and talk to me give me happy high, imagine a relationship, btw girls are everything. their like alpha and omega.
 
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