Friendships & all.

I mess up most of my friendships and relationships. I just feel better alone. I don't mean to do this and it is bothering me as some of those friends are coming back into my life and I'm not sure how to handle it. Do I go ahead, heal those wounds or just let them go on their way?

I'm currently in such a bad place that I feel I have nothing positive to offer as a friend. I don't really want to go any where. No prospects or anything.

I don't think it's fair to have friends in my life when I'm not really a friendly person at the moment.

I think maybe you're being too hard on yourself. Do you not feel worthy enough to be their friend? If you feel like you want to improve yourself as a person, perhaps rekindling a friendship is a great way to do that. I have a friend whom I've known since my childhood who I was horrible to and pushed away and we didn't speak for months afterwards. After reflecting on what I'd done I realised I had done wrong and messaged her a long apology which she accepted. And to this day we're still really great friends!

Anyway, please don't feel like you have to be so hard on yourself, many people with SA push away friends and significant others and it may make you seem like a horrible person but I think you are probably a nice person!

Also you say you don't want to go out so I'm assuming you don't want to go outside with them? That's fine I think, there's plenty you can do indoors and social media is also a useful tool to talk to friends. Good luck

the only thing i get about friendships is that it's always quality over quantity. i tried making more friends but it's hard to make a few at once instead i make one every like 6 years and it just works better I can be your online friend if you like and then you can make some real good friends along the way!

Luka- You get it tons. I do feel like a horrible person. I do feel unworthy. I don't even understand myself when I do these things. A lot of my friends are nice. And the closer they are, the more I feel like...pushing them away. I know now, with where I am in life, I feel like I'm letting some people down. I've not achieved much in a really long time and that makes me feel like...unworthy or something.

LazyHermitCrab- Friendships are always welcomed, I think. I do have some friends. Like both real and online. And they are great. My issue is like ruining these relationships. I'm not sure if it's deliberate or something else.