For those who are single/not looking what is the main reasons to remain single

sevenroses

Well-known member
For those who are single/not looking what is the main reasons to remain single and not looking for a relationship? Thanks :)
 

minnow

Well-known member
My actual reason is because I live in such a small town I am related to almost everyone I don't know which ones but i am afraid i will end up dating a distant cousin.
 

Avery

Well-known member
Lasting romantic success is difficult even for extroverts to achieve. The divorce rate is sky-high, and even those who remain together often do so out of habit or for financial security, not out of love or even fondness. There are happy, loving exceptions, but not enough of them -- none of the marriages in my entire extended family would I find acceptable to call my own.

Given the romantic difficulty that the average person faces, a shy, awkward introvert will face much, much more. It might seem unromantic, but even with love there's a cost/benefit ratio, and while I would glean as much (if not more) benefit from a genuine relationship as the average person, the cost for me would be, psychologically-speaking, staggeringly higher.

Now, if the heavens see fit to cross my stars with the right girl, I'm all hers, and I'd be as loyal and loving as anyone could be. But to actively date and seek out such a girl would be for me to play the lottery -- the right girl would be a jackpot, but the odds are against me, and if calculated would show a net-loss-per-attempt. I simply don't have the willpower for that cycle of hope and disappointment. I'd rather deliberately pursue (romantic) solitude, and that's what I've done for almost a year now.
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
mostly because i never ever go out 'looking'...
i'm not really in a relationship because i have a lot of my own issues i want to work on first... this is the longest i've been single since i was 14 years old (8 years ago) and i've currently been single for a little over a year.. in every relationship i've been in, i've seen how much my insecurity really affects the relationship and i want to be 100% with myself before i'm serious with someone again.
having said that, i don't "miss" being in a relationship right now, so i don't need one.. i have my 'friends with benefits' that suit me just fine right now :) hahaha!
 

Predacon

Well-known member
A combination of money and nerves. Even if I wasn't nervous I wouldn't have the money to take them anywhere anyway.
 

beastie

Active member
Honestly, I'm scared of most people and can't relate well to others anymore. I haven't given up, but my anxiety goes into overdrive whenever someone shows an interest in me. I'd like to stop going into shock everytime someone touches my shoulder before starting a physical relationship. Pretty sure I'm not the norm though, even for this site.
 
U

userremoved

Guest
I just officially stopped looking. Mainly because I gave up lol.
 

JonnyD

Well-known member
its a double question with a double answer:

Why you don't date?
-because i can't get to talk with women , i don't know how to meet them and even when i meet some by accident i get so terrified of her i can't start a conversation.

why you're not looking ?
first i don't know if i would be looking because i never tryied - i never kissed , i never got intimate, i never had sex , i never had an argument , i never got to luch with a girlfriend, i never met her friends and family. so i don't know if i would want to have a girlfriend.

but as far as i go right now , i'm not looking for a long term relationship.
like to much my own space, i like too much spending my time alone , i want to dedicate myself to my projects and i don't feel that somebody would be really happy with me - not because i'm ugly or bad in someway, it's her call to think she likes me - but because i don't think i would spend the time she would deserve on her, i have so much to experience and i have so many things i want to do by myself right now that i think a long term relatioship would be dishonest and unhappy
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
mostly because i never ever go out 'looking'...

This!! I hardly ever go out, never mind go out looking. The only "looking" I ever do is just looking at guys. Sit back and observe. Watch from a distance. Then turn away. I have no idea what would happen if I were to actually try to meet guys. Probably not much anyway.:rolleyes:
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I need to get my act together before I can begin to think of dating. I'm still pretty much a wreck. I have a fear of vulnerability and showing emotion which.. just won't work.
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
This!! I hardly ever go out, never mind go out looking. The only "looking" I ever do is just looking at guys. Sit back and observe. Watch from a distance. Then turn away. I have no idea what would happen if I were to actually try to meet guys. Probably not much anyway.:rolleyes:

well i just don't like to be the 'pursue-er' (?!).. i'd rather be pursued, that's usually the way it goes.... and recently, i actually did stick my neck out there and start talking to a guy first for the first time in my life, and he ended up shutting me down! ::(: i had had a little crush on him for a while and he's friends with my dad from church (he's not as old as my dad, lol).. he ended up saying he didn't want things to be awkward if it ended badly :rolleyes: what a bunch of crap! lol i told him he was making a mistake and missing out.. we'll see what happens, if i want something, i don't let it go that easily! haha :)
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
I haven't come close to meeting my own standards, and I'm really not that picky. Plus, I've been shot down so many times that I finally just gave up.

Really not the best reasons. But until I get myself sorted out, they'll just have to do.
 

Apple Strudel

Well-known member
I don't have a social circle..I mean none. I stay at home when I don't go to my job for 3 days a week, which means the rest of my 4 days are spent at home facebooking and being miserable and envious of people's social life (haha, sometimes)

I spent all day on the computer, reading up on gossips and useless information on wiki, I don't even know what's the purpose of life most of the time.

Not to mention, I don't even know if i'm ever going to be in a relationship since I have never been in one.
 

AGR

Well-known member
Lack of a good partner?
I am just waiting the day I bump on a good girl and if she likes me,otherwise I dont mind.....
 

dottie

Well-known member
because i am happy with or without a partner. i don't NEED someone to make me happy. if someone comes along, great but... i'm really not actively looking. i am more interested in getting my personal life together (getting a "new" car and moving out).

plus sometimes being in a relationship can be draining. i worry a lot and don't need that.
 
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xxaimsxx

Well-known member
The main reason is time. A relationship to me is when you have to spend time with someone and i like to do my own thing. I remember when i was dating this guy once and i didnt realise we had to do things all the time :D. Im obviously not cut out for a relationship. Not right now anyway. And the anxiety and butterflies is torture!! :rolleyes:
 
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