Feeling weak amongst men

Victor

Active member
When I'm amongst other men, I compare myself to them and always feel shorter (which I am) and weaker, less muscular, less manly, less attractive to women, especially if there are some around. The gym has helped me a little bit, but not much.

Please, add your comment.
 

Tab

Well-known member
Always, it's what keeps me from going to a gym (along with sa) and makes me uncomfortable in many situations.
 

Richey

Well-known member
I actually like it though, most of my favourite bands have skinny guys, radiohead, primal scream, the strokes, at the drive in, like me ..

if you want a little muscle just do push-ups and purchase a bench press to add a little more, otherwise don't think twice about it, people who shun you because you may not look macho arn't worth knowing in the first place..
 

Thelema

Well-known member
Richey said:
I actually like it though, most of my favourite bands have skinny guys, radiohead, primal scream, the strokes, at the drive in, like me ..

if you want a little muscle just do push-ups and purchase a bench press to add a little more, otherwise don't think twice about it, people who shun you because you may not look macho arn't worth knowing in the first place..

No push ups and some bench presses will do nothing

Diet is number one to getting bigger. You need a caloric surplus to add muscle and if you don't have it, YOU WON'T GROW WORTH SHIT. You need this drilled in to your head before you can make real changes in your body.

I used to be as skinny as hell...now im training for natural bodybuilding competition...
 

Richey

Well-known member
yeh but i don't actually want to look like a hulk to build up too much, just enough to satisfy me, and bench press builds up the upper body well enough, a high protien diet does help you achieve it ...

that and cardio, bike riding or running keeps you fit
 

Victor

Active member
Richey said:
I actually like it though, most of my favourite bands have skinny guys, radiohead, primal scream, the strokes, at the drive in, like me ..

if you want a little muscle just do push-ups and purchase a bench press to add a little more, otherwise don't think twice about it, people who shun you because you may not look macho arn't worth knowing in the first place..

I like it too when famous/successful people are short and skinny.

You know, it's not like anybody has ever shunned me on my looks (well, a bit in high school, maybe, but I was way thinner then): it's more something that's inside my head. When I say the gym doesn't help, I don't mean the training doesn't work. I did gain weight. The problem is that I'm stuck with a bad image of myself, and that image includes a weak and unmanly body, in spite of any gain in muscle mass.
The first year I went to the gym, I would not take a shower afterwards for I was scared of being naked in front of men more athletic and handsome than me. I would wear the same sweaty briefs and dress on top of that. Now: I was too self concious to shower, but that was wierd indeed! If I saw one guy do this today, I would be disgusted myself! Now I have overcome this and I can shower no problem and also do some smalltalk with other guys in the locker room & showers, but as soon as I leave the gym club I start feeling like my old weak self again.
I have a BMI of 23 and little fat mass, which is not bad at all on paper, but nothing seems to help with my body image. I'm sort of a reversed anorexic girl: whatever the truth may be, my mirror always says "You're too thin".[/i]
 

Thelema

Well-known member
Richey said:
yeh but i don't actually want to look like a hulk to build up too much, just enough to satisfy me, and bench press builds up the upper body well enough, a high protien diet does help you achieve it ...

that and cardio, bike riding or running keeps you fit

You saying "bench once in a while or do some push ups" to me is like someone saying "just suck it up" to someone with social anxiety.

You have 600 muscles in your body, bench pressing will work 3 muscles.... I don't go to the gym six days a week to "hulk up", six days a week is the amount of work you need to do to make any significant change in your body.

Just to work chest, I do machine bench press, machine flys, machine incline press, barbell bench press, dumbell flys and cap that off with dumbell incline bench press. Thats just for chest. Why do you have to do so much? Thats how much it takes to change your body...half assing doesn't work. A beginner can use a much simpler routine, but once you get past the beginner stage, it takes long hours of work for further progress...you have to literally force your body to grow...someone saying to do some push ups once in a while is kidding themselves and doesn't understand what they're talking about
 

Thelema

Well-known member
Heres an article by a boxing trainer who walks the walk

How does one gain confidence and develop mental toughness?

This is a common question, asked by many aspiring athletes. While searching the Internet, I typed the phrase “mind power” in the Google search engine. I received several thousand hits with this phrase. Many of the links were to expensive information products dedicated to the subject. For a few hundred bucks, some guru will tell you how to develop a strong mind, which will then supposedly improve athletic performance.

One thing that I’ve learned in my life is that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Training the mind does not require an investment in an expensive course, nor does it require a degree in psychology or neuroscience.

Although I am all for strategies such as pre-competition visualization and positive affirmations, there is one commonly overlooked way to develop an indomitable mindset.

If you train the body, the mind will follow. By pushing yourself in the gym, your mind is forced to come along for the ride. If your mind is weak, you will quit as soon as fatigue mounts. Fighters are trained to work through fatigue. The ability to display skill in a fatigued state is a unique skill in itself.

Such abilities are developed through intense physical training. If you want a strong, confident mind, you must develop this mindset in the gym.

Consider the words below from Bernard Hopkins, one of the greatest middleweight boxers of all time. These words came in a pre-fight interview earlier in his career. Bernard said the following:

“I’m always going to come in (to the fight) overconfident and I have a reason to. I always come in overconfident because I train so hard that I leave no room for doubt in my mind. I never go in there to lose. The word is not even in my dictionary. I train confident, and I train to think overconfidently. If I didn’t, I’d be a fool.”

By pushing through strenuous workouts, you will gradually improve physically. As your strength and conditioning improve, you will gain confidence in your abilities. This process does not happen overnight. It takes time, dedication, perseverance, and a regular dose of hard work.

There is no room for doubt in an athlete’s mind. You must gain confidence in yourself. As you push through difficult challenges and routines, your mind will become increasingly resilient.

It is easy to quit when the going gets tough. A strong mind will enable you to keep plugging away despite the fatigue that will inevitably mount. As Vince Lombardi once said:

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”

Tour De France bicycling king Lance Armstrong perhaps said it best with the following words:

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?"

Obviously, you need a strong mind to live with such conviction, but you also need a strong body. Quitting offers an easy way out of any challenge. Everyone has a breaking point. By continually raising the bar in the gym, you can avoid reaching this point during competition. Train your body to go the distance, and the mind will be prepared for the journey.

Don’t just coast through your workouts at the gym. Crank up the intensity and gain confidence in your training. Don’t enter your competition wishing that you had one more week to train. Plan ahead of time, put in the work, and develop a strong body AND mind!

To drive home this point, let’s look at one brief conditioning workout. Set a timer and challenge yourself to perform 100 burpees as fast as possible. Can you perform 100 burpees in 10 minutes? What about 9, 8, 7, 6, or 5 minutes? How fast can you go?

As you work through this brief challenge, your mind will start whispering in one ear, convincing you to stop completely or take an extended rest period. It will become difficult to maintain a fast pace as fatigue starts to rear its ugly head.

Upon completing the routine, the mind may add another piece of advice, something such as “Let’s never work through that routine again…”

When working through a difficult challenge, it is useful to ignore the mind. Don’t let the mind convince you to quit. Stay focused on the task at hand. Make the decision to complete the challenge in its entirety BEFORE you begin the workout. You may even find it useful to post motivating words on the walls of your gym. It is always useful to glance up to a motivational phrase from a dominant athlete such as Lance Armstrong. A quick glimpse may provide that extra spark that you need to keep working.

Before closing this section, I’d like to provide one last quote. These words come from former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali. He once said:

"I hated every minute of training, but I said, Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."

Many readers may consider these words harsh. After all, we live in world where the easy road is most often traveled. You must remember however that the fight game is harsh. Combat sports are not for everyone. Anyone who suggests otherwise is talking out of his ass. If you wish to partake in such an event, you must take the training seriously.

Prepare the body and mind, or be prepared for injury.

http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/bodyandmind.html
 

dpr

Well-known member
Richey said:
I actually like it though, most of my favourite bands have skinny guys, radiohead, primal scream, the strokes, at the drive in, like me ..

if you want a little muscle just do push-ups and purchase a bench press to add a little more, otherwise don't think twice about it, people who shun you because you may not look macho arn't worth knowing in the first place..

radiohead rules!

don't know if you've seen it, but I just found this recently.

i've been showing everybody as I've never seen/heard thom laugh before. probably the coolest thing i've seen on youtube for a long time, actually.

lily allen's an idiot, btw

http://www.gigglesugar.com/1525938
 
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