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Old 04-25-2009
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I still live with my father. I'm 22 years old and he is practically paying for everything. I'm too dependent at my age I think, on someone. I haven't had too much of a history finding jobs. He says as long as I work hard in school, I can keep studying and not have to worry about a job. I don't feel like I have been able to look for work just yet, I feel too tied with with school and responsibilities at home, and needing other things, yet I still feel like I waste time. This just makes me very uneasy, especially with the fact that I am just here living with my dad at 22 yrs old STILL depending on him. At my age most people would have already gone to school and I JUST started school going for my AS degree. Others would have probably gotten a degree by now and can find a good job due to their experience in the REAL WORLD or have a lot of opportunity.

When I go out I feel ashamed, or as if people will think I am unworthy of anything, and just simply "hate" me. Like I am an ungrateful spoiled son, whose life has been a mess, but nobody understands why I have been having so much trouble. I think they are thinking I am a coward, pathetic, undeserving of any respect. I am where I am, alone and dying of my own choices, which I seem to not want to change, and I am responsible for all of this, and I have no excuses. Nothing, nobody else to blame but myself and everything bad that is coming to me down to even things that seem to be not of my own "doing", are my own fault, and I was every bit conscious of it. I feel tremendous guilt and I feel as if I should put myself on the line to serve others.

I at least feel that's the way it would appear even if I disagree with it, given my current circumstances that I feel like I can't do things on my own because of what could be my intense social phobias. The most resentment I have is that I am living with my father and he is paying for everything even though I dont have a job and I keep thinking about how this may make me appear to others, especially to those who could not have those benefits. I feel like I should sacrifice more, and my social anxiety might go away. I can't take walks outside I feel like the whole outside world will bother me as I go about my way, and it could get to me. I feel like I should move away from my neighbors and people who know me and my situation.

and on and on.

though I feel like once I finish school this term I can finally start working a bit more on my responsibilities at home, and perhaps moving on to finding a job, or internship. But once summer is over, I dont even know if I can keep that job because I'll be back in school full time. So what's the point, can I work seasonally, part time?

I feel like I need to work on my inner self first before I can feel too comfortable going outside. The more I exposed like this the worse it feels. And worrying about my inadequacy wastes a lot of my time from working on my inner self.

Last edited by no1; 04-25-2009 at 10:37 PM.
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Old 04-25-2009
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My dad's the same way, though he seems to be getting more and more interested in me getting a job during school now. I work as a seasonal at a local zoo, so it works out rather nicely there. Maybe you could find a starter job like that where you could work a lot during the summer and then just work weekends during the school year.
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Old 04-25-2009
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I need to start managing my time more effectively.
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Old 04-25-2009
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Well, I'm exactly your age and I've never ever worked in my life. My overprotective parents actually support my not working. If you want to get a job, first work on taming your social anxiety because jobs do require constant social interaction. Take things slowly, work on your inner- self, try out a summer job if you think you are ready, and don't worry if you don't have a job yet. You are not inadequate at all.
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Old 04-26-2009
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I had started University (weekend one) at 22 too. I would stay at home the entire week and each morning when I got up, I would feel like a complete waste. I have many agonizing thoughts and many of my current ones started at that time. In short, it wiped off my early 20s (and probably the whole of my 20s even though I am 26 now) in a swoop.

All I can offer you in the form of advice is start doing the things you have planned and don't brood too much about what others have achieved in comparison, how would you be able to manage a job or what people would think of you and stop going outside. Life is too short and if you get caught up in these things you won't know when months and years have gone by like seconds.
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