Hello,
I wanted to ask advice on what I can do to feel better about feeling so trapped and suffocated by the people around me. I have social anxiety.
I never used to go outside except with someone I feel safe with ( only 1 person that I do) However a year ago a ex-friend stayed with me for a month and became friends with the neighbors and then I became friends ( well not friends as I don't open up anymore much or let people in but there nice people ) ( also I always made sure not to be friends with neighbors before because of this )
The doctors told me getting out would help my depression and anxiety so I have been getting out and going over almost every day. While this helps with my depression ( except when anxiety gets to bad ) I feel more and more trapped by this. If I don't go over then they call or if I don't go over for a few days they wounder why. As there is like 6 people living there someone is always home.
I end up going places with them like a store or other places and anxiety can be really bad. At first this seemed to help getting out more but over the past few months i have becomes worse with my anxiety. I am always afraid there going to call or come over. I lie and say I go to bed way early like 7pm so that I can be alone. They know I have no friends only my mother so they know I am always home cause they can see her car if she comes. I feel like there is no where to run and don't even feel safe in my own home anymore. My house was my safe place and now I have no safe place to be. I am always looking out the windows if they go by cause I am afraid they will come over.
I cant talk to them about my sa or depression. I am sure they would not shun me but I cant do it. I feel so worthless as it is that I cant admit more things. I can go to my moms house in the day but I don't feel safe there. While it does feel better to be with people due to being so lonely and depressed the anxiety is so bad. Then they have said comments that I know where not mean or where jokes but I take everything bad. Like they said once were going for a drive come on with us and said they wanted to get me out because they now I don't do anything. It hurt so bad even though I know it was not a rude comment.
If I forget about my anxiety for awhile and let my guard down the whole night and next day is spent worrying about how bad i was. Like playing singstar game and I am so bad and feel bad about playing. When I go over I feel so ugly that I have to sit a specific way that I feel hides my ugly body the best or if I cant find one of those seats as they have many but only like to sit in chair not next to anymore then I have to leave. There are many other things like these I just said.
With no friends I can talk to about how I feel or my mother ( she is a great mom but she gets panic attacks and cry's and worries about me so much that I try not to say anything to her ) I go to a counselor but that doesen't help with day to day things when I have no one. I am not good at online friends and cannot type much as I have little to say. I am writing so much now because I am upset but if I am not or to sad/anxious to type this doesen't help. What can i do? I am anxious outside so cant go out there is nowhere to go except the two places I named so i'm stuck.
I really worry that my depression and anxiety will get worse then it is right now. I am already over the edge with this. I have taken tons of meds to many to list. However now i dont really take anything except for sleep. Xanax I get but makes me tired and get hot even though it does work for anxiety the side effects make me not to want to take it hardly ever. No ssri or benzo has ever helped well xanax is the best one but side effects. I have also been on many other med classes tsa beta blockers etc. About the only thing I haven't tried is maoi but they don't give them out anymore where I go. The docs are afraid to give them and say no client there gets them. Even the new patch with little side effects is small doses they will not give due to it being newer. Really the docs have basically told me they don't think meds will help me. While they will give me other ones none have even helped and I have been on nearly all. They think its situation depression so meds cant help much without changing the situation for depression at least. I cant switch doctors due to my coverage.
I do understand the only way I can most likely escape this is to go over less to peoples houses ( and that will be very hard to pull off don't think I can but even if i did it would lead most likely in the end to a total cut of ties ). This will make my depression bad but will help anxiety ( Well not really help because of how i am coping as hiding does nothing in the long run also if I go days without going out then its 10x harder to go out again ). However this will get the trapped feeling to go away. I truly can't take much more of this any help would be great.
I wanted to ask advice on what I can do to feel better about feeling so trapped and suffocated by the people around me. I have social anxiety.
I never used to go outside except with someone I feel safe with ( only 1 person that I do) However a year ago a ex-friend stayed with me for a month and became friends with the neighbors and then I became friends ( well not friends as I don't open up anymore much or let people in but there nice people ) ( also I always made sure not to be friends with neighbors before because of this )
The doctors told me getting out would help my depression and anxiety so I have been getting out and going over almost every day. While this helps with my depression ( except when anxiety gets to bad ) I feel more and more trapped by this. If I don't go over then they call or if I don't go over for a few days they wounder why. As there is like 6 people living there someone is always home.
I end up going places with them like a store or other places and anxiety can be really bad. At first this seemed to help getting out more but over the past few months i have becomes worse with my anxiety. I am always afraid there going to call or come over. I lie and say I go to bed way early like 7pm so that I can be alone. They know I have no friends only my mother so they know I am always home cause they can see her car if she comes. I feel like there is no where to run and don't even feel safe in my own home anymore. My house was my safe place and now I have no safe place to be. I am always looking out the windows if they go by cause I am afraid they will come over.
I cant talk to them about my sa or depression. I am sure they would not shun me but I cant do it. I feel so worthless as it is that I cant admit more things. I can go to my moms house in the day but I don't feel safe there. While it does feel better to be with people due to being so lonely and depressed the anxiety is so bad. Then they have said comments that I know where not mean or where jokes but I take everything bad. Like they said once were going for a drive come on with us and said they wanted to get me out because they now I don't do anything. It hurt so bad even though I know it was not a rude comment.
If I forget about my anxiety for awhile and let my guard down the whole night and next day is spent worrying about how bad i was. Like playing singstar game and I am so bad and feel bad about playing. When I go over I feel so ugly that I have to sit a specific way that I feel hides my ugly body the best or if I cant find one of those seats as they have many but only like to sit in chair not next to anymore then I have to leave. There are many other things like these I just said.
With no friends I can talk to about how I feel or my mother ( she is a great mom but she gets panic attacks and cry's and worries about me so much that I try not to say anything to her ) I go to a counselor but that doesen't help with day to day things when I have no one. I am not good at online friends and cannot type much as I have little to say. I am writing so much now because I am upset but if I am not or to sad/anxious to type this doesen't help. What can i do? I am anxious outside so cant go out there is nowhere to go except the two places I named so i'm stuck.
I really worry that my depression and anxiety will get worse then it is right now. I am already over the edge with this. I have taken tons of meds to many to list. However now i dont really take anything except for sleep. Xanax I get but makes me tired and get hot even though it does work for anxiety the side effects make me not to want to take it hardly ever. No ssri or benzo has ever helped well xanax is the best one but side effects. I have also been on many other med classes tsa beta blockers etc. About the only thing I haven't tried is maoi but they don't give them out anymore where I go. The docs are afraid to give them and say no client there gets them. Even the new patch with little side effects is small doses they will not give due to it being newer. Really the docs have basically told me they don't think meds will help me. While they will give me other ones none have even helped and I have been on nearly all. They think its situation depression so meds cant help much without changing the situation for depression at least. I cant switch doctors due to my coverage.
I do understand the only way I can most likely escape this is to go over less to peoples houses ( and that will be very hard to pull off don't think I can but even if i did it would lead most likely in the end to a total cut of ties ). This will make my depression bad but will help anxiety ( Well not really help because of how i am coping as hiding does nothing in the long run also if I go days without going out then its 10x harder to go out again ). However this will get the trapped feeling to go away. I truly can't take much more of this any help would be great.
Last edited: