Facing fears, and it's personal effectiveness

Hi everyone. Just wondering.How many of us out there with S/A, keep facing there demons, and never, ever, get over there shyness. I make myslef go out into public in some situations, time after time, but i never get over my shyness. I rarely seem to improve. I tell myself, as others have...that i just have to accept that i get nervous around others etc...,and that it is in my nature. I do believe this to an extent, but still cannot except it!, in many ways.
My mind tells me, so what if you muck up etc etc, but all of us S/A/Shyness sufferers have a yard stick on what has/or has not been a succsessful outcome in a particular situation. And there lies the problem, our measuring of ones self's performance is out of kilter with the norm. Of course many people worry about what people think of them...and i dislike when people say..well' we all go through that. Well we do, but us S/A,Shy people take it to the extreme.
And also there is that lingering thought..(if only i would stop worrying and be myself..then things will work out better). This sometimes works, but it is HARD, to be yourself in public.And you just end up forcing yoursef, to be yourself. And that is very draining.
But knowing that people are more excepting of you if you are having a comfortable moment, just makes it all worse for the next time. Because then you feel it is up to you to be you!, and thus have people like you.
Sorry to be so confusing people, i hope it made some sense.
I will never give up putting myself in uncomfortable situations though, but it's hard to fight all the time. I want to be normal!
Just sharing some of my inner demons.
Ash(nedkelly)

do you have a good understanding of the cognitive part of SA? i mean how your thoughts and beliefs fuel your SA feelings and how you can work on changing them into more rational ones?

Hi j.p , thanks for your reply.
Yes, i have a great understanding/awareness on how my thought's effect my social situations. I have had CBT treratment previously, and this helped a little for a short time, but since then have i have not found this to help anymore. I feel i am very aware of those inner demons(thought's),that seem to dictate how i feel about myself in front of others..etc..etc, and in general,but i cannot seem to over come them at the same time.
I guess my self esteem being so low, does not help one bit.
I do see myslef as a little boy, even though i am 29. I suppose i haven't been able to properly make the step into adulthood. I guess there are many reasons, but i still can't seem to take that next step. The past is hard to keep out sometimes. I know i should not let this afffect my future, but it is hard, when it is all you know.
Howdoes everyone else see there performance(so to speak), in front of others. Interested to know.
Take care everyone, and thanks for listening.

well if that doesn't help you i would focus more on that, work more on your thoughts and practice at home altering your thoughts, saying them out loud helps you to feel and remember them
that is realy what you should focus on i think if you want the effort you make in exposing yourself to have a positive effect.

i have been doing the DR.Richards audio therapy wich helps with that, you can find it on emule when you do a search for Overcoming Social Anxiety - Step By Step

as for my preformance, i try not to worry about it too much, i see it as i'm still practicing. i have my good moments and my lesser moments but i just forgive myself for the lesser, it's better then nothing and it's good i at least try. it's for a good cause. i want to overcome SA.

Yes, i think us S/A 's, are overly hard on ourselves. I think we try to be to perfect, even when we know that everyone is not.
True, changing our thoughts,and making small, yet big steps for us is the only way to succeed i guess, we can only keep trying. Thanks for your help j.p. I'll have a search for that S/A tape.

I have been shy and introverted all my life although I am opposite to you, I avoid situations where I am around people I don't know very well although I am working on this. Shyness can be overcome in time if you really want to. For me the first step is to work on my self esteem so that I an not so hard on myself

Good Luck Cody

thanks worrydoll ,i was getting worried i was talking too much about myself though...lol.Thanks again, you lifted my spirits mate,hope you are well