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Old 03-20-2013
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Hi and thanks for taking the time to take a look at my post.

I have been having a severe problems with eye contact now for about 20 years or so, there's much more to it than just shyness and avoidance although this does play a small part...

My problem has gradually gotten worse over the years. It's difficult to describe, but I have tremendous difficulty making eye contact with anyone or anything with a pair of eyes. I have to try and decide which eye to look at!! When I am looking at one eye at a time I get distracted (and stressed out) by the other eye and it's like there's a sort of distortion and I am not seeing the eyes and face quite correctly or comfortably.

I am all too aware that under a natural, normal gaze my eyes should move from left to right automatically and subconsciously, but because I am so acutely aware of this process my eyes will not move left to right without deliberate and conscious instruction. I hope this kind of makes sense to those of you reading this, I have tried to explain what is a bizarre problem as best as I can.

I was wondering if anyone can relate to this issue or understand some of what I am going through - it is pure hell believe me!! I have tried coping methods like looking at the bridge of the nose and the eyebrow but it just doesn't seem to help as I am always distracted by looking into the eyes and the process of it. I guess I am just hyper aware of my eye movements to the extent that natural relaxed eye movement has become virtually non existant.

Please help me, I am getting very desperate with this horrible problem and don't know what I can do to try and improve things I am getting desperately ill with stress and depression and thinking that life isn't worth living anymore.

Yours,

Richard
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Old 03-21-2013
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I have pushed this thread to the top again as I hope that someone will read it and be able to offer me so advice.

Regards

Richard
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Old 03-21-2013
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Hi….i had gaze issues that I’m in the process of overcoming. On a good day they are totally gone. It’s a great relief and very liberating to be a NP again although I do have to consistently work on it.

I don’t think I can help you on your specifics other than to suggest with the right professional help it can be overcome.


I’d read all the books and gotton nowhere.
It was seeing a CBT therapist that worked for me. She made me aware.
I particularly practice Exposure Response Practice every day

I now also practice Vipassana Guided Meditation every day
And apply the Law of Attraction…..Letting Go….every time I go out

Start again…go see a professional!

Good luck
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Old 03-22-2013
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anyone else like to offer up and comments and advice on this problem? thanks.
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Old 03-22-2013
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I'm suffer from this to a lesser extent. Eye contact sometimes can be way to intense. The problem is thinking about it, you're not supposed to. You just do it, like walking. Once you become self conscious and aware of the process, you forget how to do it, or can't.

I don't know the solution. But, I imagine therapy would have to be a part of it. How could it not? I plan on doing therapy at some point.
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Old 03-22-2013
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Hmm well have you ever considered seeing a doctor, it actually depends on you man you gotta make an effort. don't let them stare you down you got a get over it don't you think 2 years is a lot. this use to be me but i got over it by confronting the situation instead of running
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Old 03-26-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImNotMyIllness View Post
I'm suffer from this to a lesser extent. Eye contact sometimes can be way to intense. The problem is thinking about it, you're not supposed to. You just do it, like walking. Once you become self conscious and aware of the process, you forget how to do it, or can't.

I don't know the solution. But, I imagine therapy would have to be a part of it. How could it not? I plan on doing therapy at some point.
That's right, I am thinking about it but because I have thought about it for so long the problem has become permanently embedded in my mind and caused me no end of trouble. I don't think I can reverse it now, but I have to try and find ways of relaxing more if possible.
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Old 03-26-2013
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hm..i'm trying to relate...

i know sometimes people with social anxiety and shyness have anxiety about making eye contact with others...but like you said, this sounds more like you're hyper aware of your eye movement and gaze. sounds almost ocd-like.
you have to push through the anxiety, you've just learned to become aware of the movements. i wonder how a therapist might help you go back to feeling natural about this process....maybe practice looking at your own eyes in the mirror while relaxed?

wish i could help,
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Old 03-28-2013
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I don't know why or how this problem came about but I feel it has ruined my life totally. I don't see a solution to it, it has totally messed with my head.
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Old 04-03-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelee1 View Post
....maybe practice looking at your own eyes in the mirror while relaxed?
Have tried this but just cannot relax choose what I do. I try looking into just one eye and am constantly aware of the other eye but in a distorted way. My brain is so messed up!!!
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Old 04-03-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImNotMyIllness View Post
The problem is thinking about it, you're not supposed to. You just do it, like walking. Once you become self conscious and aware of the process, you forget how to do it, or can't.
You're absolutely right, thinking about it is the whole problem and because I've fallen into the trap of thinking about it for so long it has become a deep rooted issue. I really don't think I can reverse it now and have to somehow try to find a way of living with it, but it's pure hell believe me!
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Old 04-09-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImNotMyIllness View Post
I'm suffer from this to a lesser extent. Eye contact sometimes can be way to intense. The problem is thinking about it, you're not supposed to. You just do it, like walking. Once you become self conscious and aware of the process, you forget how to do it, or can't.

I don't know the solution. But, I imagine therapy would have to be a part of it. How could it not? I plan on doing therapy at some point.
Hi ImNotMyIllness. What I don't get it why or how I got this problem in the first place it's like an unwanted guest!
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Old 04-09-2013
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Have you tried practicing with another person? a friend of family member?..
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Old 04-09-2013
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Quote:
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Have you tried practicing with another person? a friend of family member?..
I did try it briefly with my therapist and it went ok, but I just can't seem to find a way of being comfortable with eye contact mainly because my conscious mind is constantly monitoring where my eyes are moving and looking and what they are taking in. Hope this makes sense?
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Old 04-12-2013
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Does anyone else experience something similar to this?
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Old 04-12-2013
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I look at peoples eyebrows instead. It takes practice.
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Old 04-13-2013
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Quote:
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I look at peoples eyebrows instead. It takes practice.
I think that is a good coping strategy as is looking at the forehead too etc.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobalt_bluester View Post
Hi and thanks for taking the time to take a look at my post.

I have been having a severe problems with eye contact now for about 20 years or so, there's much more to it than just shyness and avoidance although this does play a small part...

My problem has gradually gotten worse over the years. It's difficult to describe, but I have tremendous difficulty making eye contact with anyone or anything with a pair of eyes. I have to try and decide which eye to look at!! When I am looking at one eye at a time I get distracted (and stressed out) by the other eye and it's like there's a sort of distortion and I am not seeing the eyes and face quite correctly or comfortably.

I am all too aware that under a natural, normal gaze my eyes should move from left to right automatically and subconsciously, but because I am so acutely aware of this process my eyes will not move left to right without deliberate and conscious instruction. I hope this kind of makes sense to those of you reading this, I have tried to explain what is a bizarre problem as best as I can.

I was wondering if anyone can relate to this issue or understand some of what I am going through - it is pure hell believe me!! I have tried coping methods like looking at the bridge of the nose and the eyebrow but it just doesn't seem to help as I am always distracted by looking into the eyes and the process of it. I guess I am just hyper aware of my eye movements to the extent that natural relaxed eye movement has become virtually non existant.

Please help me, I am getting very desperate with this horrible problem and don't know what I can do to try and improve things I am getting desperately ill with stress and depression and thinking that life isn't worth living anymore.

Yours,

Richard
I am beginning to notice different eyebrow pencils
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Old 05-19-2018
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I do have the same problem. But i have had the problem since childhood. So i doubt mine is related to Anxiety. Its possible you might have a form of Autism or Aspergers maybe. I know anxiety with me has not helped it, but i never had anxiety when i was a child but yet i couldn't make the connection even with my parents or people close to me. I think a lot of my problems with social anxiety and why i haven't been able to connect to people is because of my eye contact. Usually people connect such as relationships with eye contact. I have never been able to make that connection with people. Its worse now because of all the crap that i have gone through in my life.
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i understand how you guys feel. i wouldn't want to not be able to do eye contact for the rest of my life or have difficulty with it. I'd say to keep on praying for me and I'll pray for you lifesnotfair and hope things will get better. i don't know how cobalt_bluester's doing now.
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