everytime someone pisses me the hell of and cause me Pain

i know im always alone but sometimes it doesnt feel as bad
specially when i stay at home i feel less lonely then when im out in a crowd

whenever someone disrespects me and cause me pain
it makes me feel so so angry and hateful and it makes me so much more alienated and alone because i have no one to lean on. which further makes me bitter and loathesome (lonliness=bitterness)
i find releasing this pain by abusing others relieves me really well
but only temporarily and probably causes ppl to hate me even more which means them inflecting more pain and thus the cycle

then again it doesnt make a difference if people like me or hate me one way or the other im still suffering loneliness so why not make things entertaining?

That's why I pushed around the band geeks in high school, something I've come to regret. Disrespecting somebody else doesn't negate the damage that's already been dealt.
Sorry if you had a crappy day, hope you feel better soon. :]

angryguy said:

then again it doesnt make a difference if people like me or hate me one way or the other im still suffering loneliness so why not make things entertaining?

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Do you really find fights and anger entertaining? Don't you feel better when you don't feel that people hate you?

if you're running in same circles as the people you hurt, youre basically burning your bridges at making friends. Are you sure youre not taking their comments the wrong way? I had a hard time with that in high school. Someone would playfully poke fun at me and I would be hurt.

I hope everything works out for you!

Abruptly that realization joined with what he saw on their faces --
awe, fear, shrinking horror -- and he knew that they were afraid of
him.

And he understood what they felt and did not hate them.

I am Legend Richard Matheson

I sit inside my body and observe the way people react to my anxiety, some with anger, some with fear. In many ways I can almost understand how they feel about my behaviour, they don't understand it. They're human just like me.

do you do any sports or martial arts? apply this unwanted aggression to some kind of organized athletic/martial discipline, and you'll have more balance to your life in general. and if ppl want to abuse/provoke you, you'll be able to genuinely laugh it off. hyenas fear lions, but they still mock and jeer. lions fear nothing, and nothing bothers them.