Ever feel like choices you made were a factor in life suckin

I have made choices that made me turn in to an anti social person.I never drank or did drug i smoked cigs but quit 4 months ago so alwas been sorta straight edge now completely drug free basiclly.I never went to parties or anything and hated the people that did go but knew even if i did go I would feel out of place.So by geting used to not doing social things it became normal to me to me alone which probably wasnt a good thing to do.I pasted on chances to have sex with girls several times thinking I'd get more chances with someone that i actully liked or was with I was wrong.I guess what im tring to get at is that what if I had got in to drugs and drinking and going to parties would i be a different person, yes i would id be happy i think.But I'd be living a lie because it wouldnt be the real me.Sorry if this dosnet make alot of sense.But im just wonderin if anyone else has made choices good or bad that has made them the way they are now.

yeah, i feel like that too sometimes, abc1234....i don't drink..do drugs..and i'm too chicken to do the bar scene thing..so..i guess i miss out on a lot of social interaction that way...but, you should be commended for..not drinking..not doing drugs...quitting smoking :!: ..that's huge...and especially deciding not to have sex with just anyone..and waiting for someone you care about...those are awesome qualities to feel good about :wink:

yeah dont get me wrong i am proud to be drug free being straight edge is a big thing im my life.Just wish i wasnt so shy so I could show people my qualities.I know that it is really hard for people to stay away from drugs and resist temption but in a way the good things about me are the worest thing about me

i know exactly how you feel. when i started in highschool, things were ok, not great, but i could make it through my days. no one did drugs or anything during middle school. then slowly, people started going to parties, drinking, smoking, doing pot, some of them even crack and crystal meth. but me, i just passed on it all, i was too uncomfortable. and it seemed the more i passed, the more distant i got from my friends. its tough being straight edge, because drugs and alcohol are such social things to do. im still struggling with it, so all i can tell you is to hang in there and know that you're a stronger person than the rest of them. there are other people out there like you and you'll find them eventually.

yeah it hard being straight edge because its so easy to just go out to a bar or something drink so beers loosen up or smoke weed and then not worry and stress out.For me im pretty shy and get stressed out easily so i tend to just not bother tring to go places were i could meet people like me.So for now im stuck with the way i feel hoply your right and on day ill meet some people like me.I sometimes feel that being drug free was a mistake but now I'd never wana be something im not.But if given a chance to go back in time im not sure if i could be as strong knowing how miserable I'd be years later.Yeah pretty dumb and dosent make much sense lol but owell

abc1234, can I just ask how old you are?

My life story is very similar, turned down sex always thinking i'd find someone to be more comfortable with, big downer

I did smoke a lot of weed and that didn't help, in fact sometimes probably made me more anxious. Didn't drink much though, and when I did I usually over did it. Went to a few parties but always felt out of place.

Yep, I can think of all the coulda, woulda, shoulda stuff, but it wouldn't make a difference. Thinking of the past will ONLY get you down. Seriously, thinking about that one offer, or one night or whatever, one more time will not make things any clearer in your mind. The best thing to do is let things go and start living for today. And SMILE

oh, and ps I still smoke cigs but trying to quit, its so hard

Hello again

I am 22 years young,Its not that i think about the coulda, woulda, shoulda shit all the time and its not really what gets me down i just think that if i had done the things that i knew in my heart werent the person i was but made me what others wanted me to be that id be in a better place and be happy sorta.I never thought that being me would make me so miserable and loney.I guess thinking that i may never get a chance to be completely happy is the biggest problem.

And I am way better off with out drugs you are right about that.Nothing against those who do them just seems that drugs are used as a crutch and a way to ecsape from things for a while,and in some cases do alot more good then bad

i just think that if i had done the things that i knew in my heart werent the person i was but made me what others wanted me to be that id be in a better place and be happy sorta.

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yep, that was pretty much my point.

A new website here for depression and anxiety am finding it good fun and you can play games and talk in chat

http://www.small-steps.me.uk

See you there

All I can say is maybe it would be better for you to concentrate on being confident as the person you are rather than dwelling on the past person you should have been for others. It might seem that drugs and alcohol would have made you fit in, but I don't really think that is the case. If it is, it is very temporary.

I was pretty straight-laced myself and so I decided to join a party or two and go all out. <<<---Huge mistake. Not only did I have to get taken to the hospital for drinking too much, but it didn't change the way people saw me at all. In fact I felt more like a fool.

Instead of drugs and alcohol, I think maybe you should find ways to build up your confidence. It seems people are drawn more to that than anything else. Now if I could just find out how to do that. :?

Okay the whole drinking thing… I used to be rather righteous about my drinking stance. Not to the point where I was verbally expressing this to others or trying to tell others they were wrong but quietly I was content that I wasn’t ‘wasting my life’ away on drugs and alcohol.

This was purely on part of my Christian upbringing and the pressure within the Christian circle to confirm to a life devoid of alcohol, drugs and sex. Said pleasures of life were to be replaced with equally stimulating activities like fizzy drink, immature arguments over the relevance of a verse in the book of Proverbs and for the women, embroidery 

I now realize I was wrong. I was being brought up to live in a world that simply does not exist and I do regret the time I wasted before realizing that.

Modern day life doesn’t play out like an Enid Blyton story. If you don’t believe me, ask Noddy.

My situation may be exaggerated a little by geography; I know that the youth scene here in New Zealand receives a lot of press that indicates the ‘binge drinking culture’ is at the extreme end on the global scale. Perhaps in other places alcohol doesn’t take pride of place as the centerpiece on the mantel of youth but here that is very much the case.

I never got drunk until after I turned 21 and only started drinking on a regular basis over the last year or so. During this time I have met approximately 1000% more people than previous to drinking.

If people with no social anxiety still feel the need to use alcohol as a social lubricant then why shouldn’t people with actual social difficulties use it for the same purpose? Especially when it works!

Back to the thread topic… choices made that contributed towards my situation…regrets… well yeah I regret that I lost so many years to Christianity, being indoctrinated with a mindset which has and still does serve as road block on the secular highway.

In saying that I think it’s important to accept the past, accept the part it played in who you are today. Sure I was bullied through high school and circumstances bred me into a social misfit but perhaps if I hadn’t gone through all of that then I would be a lesser person now.

Regrets can only be useful if you can use them to help you understand your situation or let them serve as signposts to part of your life that you can work on before its too late. People who say that they live with a ‘No Regrets’ motto don’t live a life without regretful circumstances, they just choose to accept things and move on.

Well for me ( and i am very ashamed of this) , alcohol is what gets me through. I've turned into a daily drinker. In certain situations, for example if I had to meet up with a girl, i used to take a couple of swings from my hip flask and with the help of a strong breathe mint, I would carry on with my day. I've decided to stop this as i believe it to be plain disgusting.

I really admire you guys for not falling prey to alcohol or drugs.

i made a choice not use drugs, alcohol i know that things would be much easier if i did use them but being straight edge is something that i am proud of.Its not easy especially because of the way im am drugs would make being more out going easier probably.Things would be better if i tried to meet people like myself by going to hardcore shows im really in to punk and hardcore music and really wish i could get myself to go to shows and get in to the scene and meet people but i dont.

I feel like my drug use in the past (sober now 6 years) has greatly affected my SAD/GAD/Agoraphobia. I think after doing acid I became worse than I ever was before.