Don't deserve love

Silentknight

Silentknight

Well-known member
I've been feeling like this for a long time now and I was curious if anyone else feels or has felt this way?
It's not that I don't want love in fact I want to fall in love and be loved by someone more than anything I just don't see it in my future near or distant. Can anyone else here relate?
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Yes, I have felt sometimes like that too.. many times, actually..
Or like I don't deserve money or good things happening to me cause I'm not 'good enough' or such... Or that I don't really deserve to be happy.. Or any good things in life..

Some of them still happened.

And sometimes I actively worked on making things better.. on liking myself despite my shortcomings.. and surprisingly sometimes then other people liked me too.. some even mentioned the word 'love'..

so it can happen, even if you don't think you deserve it at the time..

it's a bit fluctuating with me, actually.. sometimes I'm feeling great and like on top of the world, and then something may disturb the balance again.. (it can be something small, or big, or a bunch of small or bigger things, all mixed up..)

So maybe you can observe yourself, if you always feel like this or just in certain specific circumstances? (Like Fri/Sat night :D or such? That's one of the crummier times for most single people.. And even for some non-single!! Or after certain foods or situations or contact with certain people etc?)

Hoping things get better soon... ((hugs))
 
DanFC

DanFC

Well-known member
I feel like this all the time. I don't know the last time I thought I deserved love from another. At first it was due to physical circumstances. Even though that's persisted, the lack of affection in my life has made me more and more emotionally callous and negative.

And when I realize who I am, I even go down further and further into this mindset that I'll never be happy with another person.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I definitely have, and still do, feel like this. I just kind of think of myself and think "who would want this?" And really anyone who either has a false perception of me who I'll disappoint in the end or sees me as I am and has standards that low, making me maybe not want her in return. I mean I wouldn't want me, why would anyone else? It would just be selfish on my part, and really no one would be happy.
 
P

Postphobia

Member
I DEFINATELY know what you're talking about. I had agoraphobia for 20 years, so I knew I couldn't find anyone who would love me with that, so I didn't try. I found someone who lied and said she did, but then cheated and left after a year and a half. Now, I'm over the agoraphobia and it's just too late. I feel like I didn't deserve it during the agoraphobia, and now, I'm just too late to learn the ins and outs of it that I should've learned by dating when I was in my 20's.
 
anxiety1408

anxiety1408

Well-known member
I really want to be loved/be in a relationship, But sometimes I feel like First I must tackle my social phobia before I can completely be myself than I can be happy and see everything clearly..
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
I am a spoiled, worthless, lazy, stupid 26 year old "man".

I do not deserve love, which is why when I feel love coming my way, I push it away or make the other person feel like they don't want to love me anymore.

Self-defeatism.

Sabotage.
 
Pookah

Pookah

Well-known member
I don't feel worthy of love or particularly sexually attractive. So I'm not sure how I'd get over that except to try to improve myself to my own standard.
 
C

Cotton

Member
Well, I just think so I guess. In my dreamland everyone is happy and love eachother. I know that some people are more evil then others but I just want to see the good in people. I guess that's one of my flaws.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
I don't really feel that I deserve or will ever be able to maintain a loving relationship. It just seems foreign to me. If someone loves me, I'm afraid they are gonna have to make the effort to show me this. If not, I'll just assume I'm not meant for love. I wish however I could challenge myself to do more.
 
M

mads

Well-known member
We are all a mothers and fathers child. We all deserved to be loved by some no matter who we are and what our story of life is. We cant expect to be loved by all but to be loved by some is not too much to ask for
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Pookah said:
I don't feel worthy of love or particularly sexually attractive. So I'm not sure how I'd get over that except to try to improve myself to my own standard.
Click to expand...

I feel the same way about needing to improving myself. I think it's called Self-actualization. Here's the pyramid of self-actualization. I think I'm stuck on the second one...

800px-Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg.png


And I'm not sure how you improve from "Super Pretty" either. It may be tough, but I think you can get up to "Super Super Pretty" if you really want it.:rolleyes:
 
spect01

spect01

Well-known member
I'm locked away from love. Can't find the key. I want to explore that part of life. But it's off limits to me. Real friendship is too. But I do think it's "deserved", not exactly that but a basic human need. I keep telling myself to wait and see what happens but I'm not comfortable just sitting around waiting.
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
Loveless loveless loveless...

Yeah, I don't deserve love. I feel as if anyone and everyone is pretty much too good for me. I can't imagine who would possibly want to be with me. I mostly can't imagine why they'd want to look at me, you know there's always someone better. Not only that, but I'm the most boring person you could possibly ask for. There just isn't much there, and I don't know where to start in terms of improvements.
 
Silentknight

Silentknight

Well-known member
I'm right there with you Psychedelicious I don't see how I could possibly deserve love when their are so many others out there much better then me and even if by miracle I would find someone who cares about me I would more then likely push them away so they could find someone who could make them much more happier then I ever could.
 
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