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Old 12-11-2017
kuurt's Avatar
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I have gone 9 years without a job. At first it was because I had some problems with my lungs, but slowly I have gotten a lot better. Then I just used my lung problems as an excuse not to work, but really it was my social anxiety keeping me from getting a job.

Sad to say I'm just afraid to work. I never really tried to pin point what exactly it is I'm afraid of. I just have that old familiar feeling in my body (nervousness) when I think about getting a job.

I was 26 when I quite my job. I'm 35 now. I haven't had a girlfriend or even a friend all this time. It's like I lost 9 years of my life - wasted sitting around the house. I spend a lot of my time on the computer and trying to create an online business, but that didn't pan out. Even when I had a job 9 years ago I only had a couple of friends that I worked with, but I wouldn't call them good friends. And I also had a hard time with girls too since I was so shy.

Now, I'm reaching a point where I'm really sick and tired of sitting around the house. I do miss being around people. It might be hard to make friends or get a partner when you have social anxiety, but it's nearly impossible to when you don't get out of the house. I'm thinking more and more about getting a job, but my fear is still too great for me to go apply for one.

Does your social anxiety interfere with you getting a job?
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Old 12-11-2017
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Your social anxiety didn't stop you, your reaction to it did.

But yes, anxiety interferes a lot, because it's easy to believe in thoughts such as "everyone's gonna be an ******* and judge you negatively", or "you're not going to do well and you'll embarass yourself + be dismissed", etc.

But trying and failing beats not trying at all.
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Old 12-11-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
Your social anxiety didn't stop you, your reaction to it did.
That's pretty harsh!
If a person has one amputated leg, do you say to them..."Your missing leg does not stop you from walking, your reaction to it does"
Would you honestly say that to a person with an amputated leg?

Blaming the victim for their handicap - and social anxiety can be so severe in some people that it IS a handicap - only benefits the person doing the blaming.

As you would know, mental health issues occur in people over a vast spectrum of severity. Social anxiety can range from shyness all the way up to being housebound.

People who can still function quite well because they are ABLE to manage the specific degree of social anxiety that manifests itself within themselves, should be extremely grateful that they can, and not simply think that just because they can do it, that everyone else should be able to too.
Just sayin'



To the OP, have you thought of doing some volunteering at a charity or animal shelter etc?
You can decide how long you spend there and you don't have to go through the horror of job interviews - if that is an issue for you.
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Old 12-11-2017
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Yeah, I've never had a real job.

My family has a lot of rental property, and I used to be a jack-of-all trades as far as maintenance and repairs and stuff, but that's dried-up completely now that my grandfather's too old to help me and his sons have decided to go with a professional service.

I still run errands for my 95-year old aunt, but that doesn't get me very much in the way of scratch or a feeling of accomplishment.
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Old 12-12-2017
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Yeah I'm kind of handy myself, I've been able to make some money here and there by doing jobs for my dad or grandparents. Not enough to live on though, just some extra cash. I'm currently living with my dad who's not charging me rent. And I have money saved up from taking care of my grandpa before he died. That's the only reason why I don't have to work right now.

Quote:
have you thought of doing some volunteering at a charity or animal shelter etc?
Not really, I think I'd rather have a job then do volunteer work. I'd get paid for a job. Plus I feel like there wouldn't be anybody my age doing volunteer work - probably just older women. I would feel out-of-place. I would feel like they're judging me wondering why I'm even there - why I don't have a job like a normal person, or why I don't have a life - most people my age would have friends and would rather be doing something else like hanging out with their friends. That's part of social anxiety I guess - feeling judged and carrying what other people think of you.
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Old 12-12-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
That's pretty harsh!
If a person has one amputated leg, do you say to them..."Your missing leg does not stop you from walking, your reaction to it does"
Would you honestly say that to a person with an amputated leg?

Blaming the victim for their handicap - and social anxiety can be so severe in some people that it IS a handicap - only benefits the person doing the blaming.

As you would know, mental health issues occur in people over a vast spectrum of severity. Social anxiety can range from shyness all the way up to being housebound.

People who can still function quite well because they are ABLE to manage the specific degree of social anxiety that manifests itself within themselves, should be extremely grateful that they can, and not simply think that just because they can do it, that everyone else should be able to too.
Just sayin'



To the OP, have you thought of doing some volunteering at a charity or animal shelter etc?
You can decide how long you spend there and you don't have to go through the horror of job interviews - if that is an issue for you.
Not the best comparison, really. A person with one leg will have much bigger difficulties walking and doing everyday things, whereas someone with social anxiety can still do all the things a person with two legs can do, if they allow themselves to be stronger than the anxiety itself.

Sure, it might seem a little harsh, but at the end of the day, social anxiety is not physically stopping you from doing anything.
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Old 12-12-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
social anxiety is not physically stopping you from doing anything.
No, but it might as well be - the effect is (or can be) the same as it it were something physical.
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Old 12-12-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
No, but it might as well be - the effect is (or can be) the same as it it were something physical.
Yep, exactly.
I think as with anything else in life, until people actually experience the severe form of it themselves, they don't realise this.
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Old 12-13-2017
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Sometimes my social anxiety is so severe that I can barely eat and I'm absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, like physically sore. But if I convince myself that I can't do this or that because of my anxiety, I'm feeding the anxiety.

You really only have two choices: give in to the anxiety, or wade through it until you reach your destination (or the many, everyday, 'small' destinations).
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Old 12-13-2017
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It used to...but then I realized that some people I came across in the workplace would actually try and use my anxiety against me to basically throw a roadblock in my way (I guess they REALLY wanted that sergeant position once she retired. lol) . Although, thats not the first time iv had people use my weaknesses against me . Plenty of times throughout my life iv had people use me, make fun of me, deceive me, and THEN some...

over time iv just realized that I cant let any ONE or any THING get in my way..and that includes anxiety.



As someone once said: "handle your business, dont let your business handle YOU" .lol..Actually ALOT of people have said that .



dont worry about what people say because some people ALWAYS have something to say. Always some kind of criticism .
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Old 12-14-2017
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Yes I have found it very difficult. Every time I have had a job it was organised through someone I know so never really had to go through the whole nervouse interview thing too many times. I always take easy jobs that I end up hating such as anything involving dealing directly with customers face to face and it makes things worse and I eventualy end up quitting. I usually stay in a job for up to two and a half years before I cant take it anymore and end up jobless for about four to five months and struggeling financially. I know some people with SAD don't always have such a hard time working but I guess it's also the situation you are in and the people who are around you.
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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If the government would send me a letter telling me a place, date and time that I was going to work I would be fine with it. Leaving me alone to randomly apply for jobs, compose letters selling my skills (!), risk someone calling me on the telephone, go to an interview is just ridiculous.

I don't hate working and I'm not super nervous, shy or awkward when I'm there, I just can't do the things to get a job (even a voluntary one). I have had jobs so I technically can do these things but lately it is beyond difficult, it has become impossible.
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FountainandFairfax (4 Weeks Ago)
Old 5 Days Ago
 

Yes. I work ..but everyday i go to work and come home with sweaty armpits..cause of my anxiety...
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Old 4 Days Ago
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I worry that I will be able to keep my job.
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
Not the best comparison, really. A person with one leg will have much bigger difficulties walking and doing everyday things, whereas someone with social anxiety can still do all the things a person with two legs can do, if they allow themselves to be stronger than the anxiety itself.

Sure, it might seem a little harsh, but at the end of the day, social anxiety is not physically stopping you from doing anything.
Surely you should realize SA can be crippling?
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
That's pretty harsh!
If a person has one amputated leg, do you say to them..."Your missing leg does not stop you from walking, your reaction to it does"
Would you honestly say that to a person with an amputated leg?

Blaming the victim for their handicap - and social anxiety can be so severe in some people that it IS a handicap - only benefits the person doing the blaming.

As you would know, mental health issues occur in people over a vast spectrum of severity. Social anxiety can range from shyness all the way up to being housebound.

People who can still function quite well because they are ABLE to manage the specific degree of social anxiety that manifests itself within themselves, should be extremely grateful that they can, and not simply think that just because they can do it, that everyone else should be able to too.
Just sayin'



To the OP, have you thought of doing some volunteering at a charity or animal shelter etc?
You can decide how long you spend there and you don't have to go through the horror of job interviews - if that is an issue for you.
Harsh, but I have to agree with Sacrament. As much of a handicap that SA can be, we are not physically paralyzed. Applying for jobs can be terrifying. Going on your first day at work is even worst. But it's still doable. You may be all shaky and sweaty, red as a tomatoe, stuttering, have a panic attack or black out: You can still use your legs and try, and fail, but it will get better, given time and patience. Even the one with only one leg can walk: he just need to be proactive, get a crutch, and learn to walk again. We won't get anywhere by telling ourselves it's impossible.
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Hot_Tamale (22 Hours Ago)
Old 1 Day Ago
Sacrament's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Surely you should realize SA can be crippling?
Yes, I know it quite well.
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pacific_Loner View Post
As much of a handicap that SA can be, we are not physically paralyzed. Applying for jobs can be terrifying. Going on your first day at work is even worst. But it's still doable. You may be all shaky and sweaty, red as a tomatoe, stuttering, have a panic attack or black out: You can still use your legs and try, and fail, but it will get better, given time and patience. Even the one with only one leg can walk: he just need to be proactive, get a crutch, and learn to walk again. We won't get anywhere by telling ourselves it's impossible.
This, a thousand times this.
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Old 1 Hour Ago
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Saying it interferes would be an apt description for me, because I know I'm able to go out and find a job, but all the social aspects of finding one, and leaving my current job, that all adds another level of stress on something that even people very comfortable in social situations find stressful.

I feel like it's a scale for me right now, with my unhappiness at my current job not quite outweighing the effort of finding a new job, and the prospect of it being worse than my current one or having to jump from job to job or struggle to make financial ends meet. It just begins to feel overwhelming when adding on the social aspects of it all.
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