Does your boyfriend/girlfriend know you have sp

Sillygrl

New member
I'm getting married soon. (and so nervous about it) I have never told my fiance that I have social phobia. I'm afraid he will think its weird. He's Mr. outgoing-which helps me. I've told him that I have general anxiety and suck at public speaking which is somehow less embarrassing to me, I don't know why. The way I've figured it is I can just go through therapy and take care of this and he will never know. Just curious has anyone else told their boyfriend/girlfriend about their problem with sp? Is it even necessary to tell them about it?
 

desperate

Active member
I posted the same kind of message somewhere. Anyways, I got married four months ago, and lived with him for about ninth months. My big problem has always been that I'm very confident with someone when things start, I hang out with his friends, family, I'm totally cool and little by little I start getting tired of that effort and hell comes. That's been happening about a month ago and it sucks, I suddenly started hating this big meetings with his friends, and I still like them.... But I feel so uncomfortable and scared. And he's Mr. Outgoing too, which I also think can be helpful wether I like it or not. I don't understand why when I'm not in any relationship, my life seems so normal, and my only problem is public speaking which doesnt annoy me so much since a lot of people experience the same feeling. I talked to him last month... I was so scared, the words couldnt come out of my mouth. I think for a second he thought I was insane (he's so confident) We had a nice talk, and he told me that everybody feels the same way. I really felt good after all. We had been invited to this diner with his friends and the anxiety was killing me so bad that I decided to talk. We ended up going, and I had a lot of fun. I still dont feel like he totally understands whats going on. And I still feel nervous when we meet people, but I guess I'll have to do something about it now that he knows. I think you're future husband would understand. He's marrying you and he loves you. And the fact that you wanna go to teraphy is great. Go, he'll appreciate your effort. good luck and sorry for the long reply :lol: :lol:

Sillygrl said:
I'm getting married soon. (and so nervous about it) I have never told my fiance that I have social phobia. I'm afraid he will think its weird. He's Mr. outgoing-which helps me. I've told him that I have general anxiety and suck at public speaking which is somehow less embarrassing to me, I don't know why. The way I've figured it is I can just go through therapy and take care of this and he will never know. Just curious has anyone else told their boyfriend/girlfriend about their problem with sp? Is it even necessary to tell them about it?
 

Moonie

Well-known member
I never told anyone I have SP. I don't even tell myself that. But, my BFs have come to realize that I am very shy in no time. I sometimes think that they are bothered with it. Maybe even embarrassed of it. And then I feel ashamed of myself. I feel like they are just with me because they cannot get who they really want or for some other alternate motive. I feel like I let them down as a girlfriend.

I really don't see the need to tell. If you are getting married, then I am sure it is not too much of a concern for him. he loves you as is.
 

Butterflies

Well-known member
I also kept it a secret ....until recently. I have found that having an understanding person that I trust makes it easier when I progress into a discomfort zone. They can "hold my hand" for the first time.

I found that when I have someone to help me through the first time experience I can do things a little easier each time ... eg. buying a car, going to a shopping centre, opening a bank account, meeting people for the first time.
 

piggies

New member
I've tried talking about it to my boyfriend, but he doesn't really understand it. He just thinks I'm a bit shy.
 

Hefalump

Member
Well i havent got a gf but there is a girl at work who is very interested in me and she has tried to bribe me to go out with her. problem is she dont know i have Sp and some agorophobia, she wants me to meet her other than work and she has invited me to a party which i'm petrified of going to, and i dont really know how to say i got sp and not sound awkward etc. She also wants to come round mine but everytime i think about it i get really nervous and start freaking out.
 
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