Does this happen to you?

StrandedTangle

Well-known member
This morning a neighbor came around briefly. He was mainly talking with my wife as I was busy when he arrived. When I did get chance to speak at all I realized after only about half a sentence that he had tuned out and was not listening at all! I just stopped talking. After about 5 or 10 seconds he became aware of this and said "Oh; yeah..yeah..." Obviously didn't have a clue what I started to say.
Whilst this could be a problem in him; I find it happens a lot. It makes me more than ever aware of my SA and I just want to give up and not bother except where I have to.

Anyone else find that people just "tune out" when you're speaking with them?
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
It sounds like you are being too quiet and too unassertive. People respond to eye contact, voice volume, and the other person's desire to be heard. Anyways, your neighbor sounds like he may have been putting the moves on your wife, which is a possibility considering he acted like what you said was so meaningless. He may be trying to put you down so he can build himself up in the eyes of your wife.

All shy people have had some problem with being heard at some time in their life, so don't feel bad. I can't really tell you much more about your situation because I don't know you personally and the exact way that you talk to people.
 

StrandedTangle

Well-known member
It sounds like you are being too quiet and too unassertive. People respond to eye contact, voice volume, and the other person's desire to be heard. Anyways, your neighbor sounds like he may have been putting the moves on your wife, which is a possibility considering he acted like what you said was so meaningless. He may be trying to put you down so he can build himself up in the eyes of your wife.

All shy people have had some problem with being heard at some time in their life, so don't feel bad. I can't really tell you much more about your situation because I don't know you personally and the exact way that you talk to people.

Thanks for the reply James. I can see where you are coming from, given the information I put in the initial Posting. I don't think he has any intention where my wife is concerned; she has more problems than me; but in different ways. She has Asperger's Syndrome. This means for one thing that she has trouble interacting too; but she never notices when someone has stopped listening 5 minutes ago. She has almost no awareness of other peoples reaction or body language or verbal cues. She also almost never makes eye contact; which is another Asperger trait. Still; enough about that which is a different issue; but does affect my SA.

I think my main general question is; Do other's find that people in general "tune out" when you talk to them?
 
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