Do you think physical appearance matters in socializing?

Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Like when you're more well groomed & put together people are more likely to give you a chance even if internally you're a very shy person?I've a very good looking friend & people just fawn all over her.Though we're all good looking in some way,but do you guys think it matters?
 
Mickery

Mickery

Well-known member
Take care of your appearance, of course. Regardless of your looks, everybody can make the best of what they've got... and it'll work too. :)
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Yes, it does.
BUT it's so much more important the way we perceive ourselves, our self-esteem and our confidence what really matters.

When you're well groomed you act differently, even if you don't notice. You think you look better and then people will accept you well. But the fact is that if they treat you better is because when you think you have a good appearance you act more confident.

Or that's what I've learned from life, maybe I'm wrong...
 
Sproggy

Sproggy

Member
To me, good looks isn't important. But I do care that you're well groomed. There's nothing appealing about someone who doesn't clean themselves ect. I also think that fi you look after your out-self, you look after your inner-self
 
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CrzyDrmr

CrzyDrmr

Well-known member
Oh definitely. The "real world" is really no different than being back in high school, what with all the cliques and stuff...ousting the people who are not similar and/or well dressed. The world outside of that is no different, just a lot bigger...
 
Newtype

Newtype

Well-known member
If you're a guy, then I don't think girls will give you more attention if you do those things, assuming you have good hygiene and no unibrow.

If you're a girl, then it depends. It's a fact that girls get more attention if they dress sexier and things like that and socialization tends to follow, but it's not really the kind of socialization that a girl truly wishes for. It would just be some dudes talking to her because of the way she looks. A real man would be able to see beauty in a girl no matter how she looks or what she's wearing. He would appreciate her for her personality as well. Women in general tend to focus too much on their physical appearance because they think it's the only way they'll be appreciated but that's just not true. It's not their fault, it's the crazy media machine's fault, but at the same time, this makes all men look bad.

Your friend, maybe she gets a lot of attention now, but is she a happier person since she's started doing that? I'm not sure. Did she find that great connection with someone? I doubt it.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
MrJones said:
Yes, it does.
BUT it's so much more important the way we perceive ourselves, our self-esteem and our confidence what really matters.

When you're well groomed you act differently, even if you don't notice. You think you look better and then people will accept you well. But the fact is that if they treat you better is because when you think you have a good appearance you act more confident.

Or that's what I've learned from life, maybe I'm wrong...
Click to expand...

Yeah,I've seen this happening to myself.When I think I look better I feel much more confident & act better than normal.I guess it sometimes works that way....
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Newtype said:
If you're a girl, then it depends. It's a fact that girls get more attention if they dress sexier and things like that and socialization tends to follow, but it's not really the kind of socialization that a girl truly wishes for. It would just be some dudes talking to her because of the way she looks. A real man would be able to see beauty in a girl no matter how she looks or what she's wearing. He would appreciate her for her personality as well. Women in general tend to focus too much on their physical appearance because they think it's the only way they'll be appreciated but that's just not true. It's not their fault, it's the crazy media machine's fault, but at the same time, this makes all men look bad.
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Sad but true.

I don't think makeup or plastic are beautiful, women are. But it seems like everyone's trying to make us think it's the opposite. Fake is not beauty.

Everyday it's harder to know someone for who they are instead of how they look...
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Srijita52 said:
Yeah,I've seen this happening to myself.When I think I look better I feel much more confident & act better than normal.I guess it sometimes works that way....
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You found confidence. You can try to find it somewhere else, not in clothes or makeup.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad, if you feel free when you do this, perfect, you know what to do to be confident, great!

But maybe the next step would be to find confidence in yourself and not in your looks :)
 
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eatamoose372

Active member
No matter how much a person may deny it, they're still judgemental of people in some apects and unfortuantly it's usually towards how someone is dressed and presents themselves. It doesn't really matter how you look like but how well groomed and put together you are. Perceptions of what well groomed/put-together is, differs for everybody but gernally I think just having a clean appearence ( washed -not greasy- hair, groomed facial hair, no body odor, clean-unstained-clothes that are somewhat fashionable and appropriate for the enviroment your in) will automatically set you in the right foot.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
MrJones said:
You found confidence. You can try to find it somewhere else, not in clothes or makeup.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad, if you feel free when you do this, perfect, you know what to do to be confident, great!

But maybe the next step would be to find confidence in yourself and not in your looks :)
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Agreed!confidence should never be dependent only on clothes & make up.Specific skills & self acceptence are always essential to be more confident.What I meant though was that looking better helps our self confidence along with these other factors as it gives a sense of acceptence,cause no matter what what we say grooming is considered as a positive thing in our society.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Confidence comes from how you feel- not how you look. In general though, if you are getting a good reaction from people because you look good, it may help to boost your confidence.

First impression matters. The first thing a person notices is how you look- how you present yourself. No one can magically see into your soul and tell you are an awesome person just by looking at you; so it's based on how you look first-- and everything else after.
I wouldn't say 'physical appearance' but more like 'overall appearance'. If you look tidy and well put together- that is what matters. If you can 'look confident' it wouldn't matter if you weigh 70lbs or 300lbs.

In the past, I would spend hours getting ready for an audition- preparing myself mentally and picking the right clothes... because a bad outfit or too much makeup or not enough makeup could score or lose the audition for you.
It's looks first > appearance > manners > personality ... but only if they bother to look past your appearance. Not everyone does.
I'm also not saying any of this is absolutely true for every single person... more like- for potential employers; and many employers don't really care so much what you look like so long as you can do the job properly.
 
T

token_asian_friend

Active member
Srijita52 said:
Like when you're more well groomed & put together people are more likely to give you a chance even if internally you're a very shy person?
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Yes, fo sho. I see it all the time on these boards too. A woman posts their pic, and if they happen to be mildly attractive, then all of their posts generally start getting A LOT more attention than they did previously. And if they mention they have a bf, then suddenly their groupies fall by the wayside. And from my experience, it's how it is in real life, too.

Average-looking person with exceptional social skills = Very good-looking person with mediocre (or even poor) social skills.
 
JonnyD

JonnyD

Well-known member
we'll looking your best sure makes a diference, we are visual creatures...

but about the self steem thing, it doesnt work with me, i just look at myself and i always see the same
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Unfortunately it does. More so to certain people.
Some people have learned to look past unattractiveness and into the soul of others, but no doubt that attractiveness is universally more accepted. Attractiveness seems to be an a commonly used indicator of health. Naturally when a person is more or less dissatisfied with something (for instance, fat, or unstable, etc (mentally or physically or spiritually unhealthy)) they will see this dissatisfaction in the clues to others lack of health, which can be appearance. It can become a target.

Likewise if somebody has a very healthy place within themselves they will project this expression of health onto others, they won't have that anger towards their own ills to have to defend themselves against others' "ills" (which include perceived unhealthyness if you are turned off by an appearance.)

Unfortunately we live in a very unhealthy world where many people are dissatisfied with themselves, and will avoid things that represent the threat of more of that illness and confusion.

I wish appearance did not matter and it is definitely a goal of mine to eliminate that restriction and judgement, natural or unnatural, it is no longer relevant to health in society in some ways, clothing and hairstyle for instance
 
*Amy*

*Amy*

Well-known member
No, at least not in a direct way. I think that nobody chooses friends depending on how they look. But if your physical appearance makes you feel bad about yourself and diminishes your self-esteem, well, then it can be a problem for socializing.

low / no self-esteem = shyness + distrust on other people = bad social and love life
 
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