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Old 04-12-2018
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Hi guys,

I wanted to ask, do you have trouble speaking loud enough? And if so, what keeps you from doing it?

I used to feel like others were listening in on what I was saying, and I didn't really feel comfortable with that. So I kept my voice low so that others wouldn't hear.

Can you relate? What are your troubles with speaking up?
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Old 04-12-2018
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I have no real reason I am just a quiet person, even though I feel like I am speaking fine.

I have a job where I have to greet people who enter my store and everytime I did my co-workers said "they can't hear you."

My co-workers get ignored too so I didn't really change.
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Old 04-13-2018
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ALL THE TIME. When I hear myself talking to someone, I think my voice sounds fine. But to other people, it sounds too soft/low and they always say things like "What, what did you say?" "I can't hear you." "Speak up." Having a low pitched voice is incredibly frustrating and annoying. I would give anything to change the sound of my voice. I don't know, to me, it just sounds too slurred and deep. It's also the reason why I find it hard to express myself emotionally.
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Old 04-13-2018
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Another thing I'd like to add is that when I do talk louder to people, I almost feel like I'm yelling at the person.
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Old 04-13-2018
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I was always quietly spoken, with a quiet voice. I had low self esteem & didn't like to draw attention to myself. I got teased at school partly because i was so timid, quiet & shy.

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Old 04-13-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
I was always quietly spoken, with a quiet voice. I had low self esteem & didn't like to draw attention to myself. I got teased at school partly because i was so timid, quiet & shy.
F*ck! Sorry, the memories just came flooding back for me.
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Old 04-13-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendlyShadow View Post
Another thing I'd like to add is that when I do talk louder to people, I almost feel like I'm yelling at the person.
I have that same problem, FriendlyShadow.
Whenever someone asks me to repeat what I said because they could not hear me, I also lean forward - closer towards them - to counteract the fact that I feel I then have to shout.

This is a habit I can't stop because I am afraid that anyone else around us will hear what I am then forced to repeat, because I am "yelling" it.
I have gotten all kinds of different reactions in response to me leaning forward towards the person.
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Old 04-13-2018
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Quote:
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F*ck! Sorry, the memories just came flooding back for me.
No worries mate!
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Old 04-15-2018
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I think it's got to do with me having to constantly talk to myself, when I'm in a social situation. It helps me relieve any small amounts of anxiety pangs I get, when I'm outside home. So, I continue to say unimportant stuff like, "I haven't done that yet," or "It's an interesting place to hang out,", and any other person who's nearby, will always keep on asking as to what I was saying. I mean it more to myself, but I need to tell it to someone so that it looks like I'm actually talking with someone. And I tell it in a low voice. This only happens when I'm with some other person, in a social situation. Ironically, I'm better off when I'm alone. From what I know, talking with others makes you look more 'social', and it also helps me to stop thinking that others are judging me.


Sometimes, I just speak something quickly(barely audible), to get past that feeling of self-consciousness, but it's really annoying when people tell you to speak louder. Speaking of which, my eldest brother always keeps on telling me to speak louder - almost all the time - and I think I've sort of developed a tendency to speak very quietly at first, as if only getting confident after the other person says to you to speak louder. It's sort of like making the other person know, that you aren't loud enough, and that you need his undivided attention while you speak.
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Old 04-15-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendlyShadow View Post
Another thing I'd like to add is that when I do talk louder to people, I almost feel like I'm yelling at the person.
I know THAT feeling. It sure seems like we are yelling.

Interesting story: When I started speaking louder, I felt like that all the time. But then I started asking people:

"Hey, am I speaking too loud? Or is it a good tone?"

And they always tell me that I'm speaking just fine. No one tells me that I'm yelling.

I think the problem is that it sounds really loud to us because we're not used to it, but it sounds just normal to others.

Crazy, huh?
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Old 04-15-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
I was always quietly spoken, with a quiet voice. I had low self esteem & didn't like to draw attention to myself. I got teased at school partly because i was so timid, quiet & shy.
I know where you're coming from. Drawing attention to yourself can make you feel a little self conscious.

I think it's really just about becoming comfortable with the attention being on you, you know?
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Old 04-15-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lionhearted View Post
I think it's got to do with me having to constantly talk to myself, when I'm in a social situation. It helps me relieve any small amounts of anxiety pangs I get, when I'm outside home. So, I continue to say unimportant stuff like, "I haven't done that yet," or "It's an interesting place to hang out,", and any other person who's nearby, will always keep on asking as to what I was saying. I mean it more to myself, but I need to tell it to someone so that it looks like I'm actually talking with someone. And I tell it in a low voice. This only happens when I'm with some other person, in a social situation. Ironically, I'm better off when I'm alone. From what I know, talking with others makes you look more 'social', and it also helps me to stop thinking that others are judging me.
I see, so you talk more to just say something. I know the feeling.

Do you think it's because you find it hard to come up with things to say in social situations?
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Old 04-16-2018
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Just ellaborating, by "low self esteem & didn't like to draw attention to myself" i meant i hated myself & felt ashamed of myself as a person & male. But i guess that's part of shyness, right?
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Old 04-16-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendlyShadow View Post
ALL THE TIME. When I hear myself talking to someone, I think my voice sounds fine. But to other people, it sounds too soft/low and they always say things like "What, what did you say?" "I can't hear you." "Speak up." Having a low pitched voice is incredibly frustrating and annoying. I would give anything to change the sound of my voice. I don't know, to me, it just sounds too slurred and deep. It's also the reason why I find it hard to express myself emotionally.
I get exactly the same, I try to increase the tone of my voice as well, but sometimes it feels like I'm shouting, and then there's the annoying part when people just nodd their head pretending they heard everything you said when they actually didn't.

Sometimes I get a tickly throat if I talk too much, even when sing to myself.
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Old 04-18-2018
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No real reason. I always think I'm speaking loudly enough but I always get asked to repeat myself. Or if I'm in a group, I notice I always get drowned out. I just have to constantly have to remind myself to speak louder even though it feels unnatural.
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Old 05-24-2018
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I've already answered this kind of question a long time ago. it's that i feel if i talk louder it's too loud but i don't really have that problem anymore. it's more like being insecure w/ how i sound on the phone. i have a phone in which i feel i sound nice like me and then when i try another phone i don't feel it sounds nice like me but people irl say i have a nice voice. lol
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Old 05-25-2018
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i think we should accept ourselves for our flaws and just try to improve on it. good luck!
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Old 05-25-2018
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I talk too fast when I'm nervous, and can sometimes mumble, but I don't really have a volume issue.
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