Do you hate yourself?

Do you hate yourself?

It seems to me that a lot of people with social anxiety, etc. seem to hate, or at least severely dislike, themselves. I've been on a lot of social anxiety forums where people will blatantly say that they hate themselves. These are all very good people & I think everyone can see it except for the person him or herself. I've never really understood how truly great people can have such a low opinion of themselves. It seems to me that if other people can realize how great they are, they should be able to see it for themselves. It seems that some people blame themselves for their social inadequacies, & think badly of themselves because of it. I know a lot of it probably goes back to experiences they had in their childhoods, because it's the only thing I can think of that makes sense as to why they would think such things about themselves.


For myself, I definitely don't hate myself. I really like myself. I do not like my life, but I do like myself & there is a very big difference between the two. There are definitely a lot of individual aspects about myself that I don't like, but those aspects don't overshadow the feelings that I have about myself overall. It's why I don't feel that I have low self esteem. Therapists have always asked me whether I feel I am deserving of happiness & other good things in life. I say yes, because I definitely am. They ask how "worthy" I feel. I feel very worthy. I am worthy of all good things. They always seem shocked by the answers I give to their questions because they (& a lot of others) seem to think that social anxiety can not be had without low self-esteem. I've even had others tell me this, despite my own experiences to the contrary. Just coming from my own feelings about myself, I know that low self-esteem does not have to exist in order for social anxiety to. I have very severe social anxiety, yet, I'm a really good person & I know that. I think that other people would also realize that if they got to know me (or if I would let them get to know me). Internally, I'm a very kind person, though that doesn't show a lot when I'm around others because I'm so scared.

So.... How do you feel about yourself? If you have social anxiety, do you hate, or really dislike, yourself? Do you like yourself, despite your anxiety? Or are you somewhere in between?

I look at my disgusting body in the mirror, each morning, and I just want to claw my eyeballs out or cut the ugly parts off with a knife. I get so enraged at my own appearance that my blood pressure rises and I have to lie down and elevate my feet until I feel "normal" again. It scares the hell out of Mr. Bigglesworth, my cat. Sometimes he lies next to me and tries to comfort me. At other times, he will give me a playful scratch as if to say "Hey, you! Snap out of it and try to be normal!", as if I even know what that means. I don't know what I would do without Mr. Bigglesworth.

People are like art I think, many can't see how truly beautifull they are because they're too close to themselves. They see and feel every flaw, but are blind to the picture as a whole.

It takes a beholder's eye to make them realize what beautiful good people they are.

Hmmm i mean i do have my off days of not liking how i look, or thinking that im a complete freak and i don't wanna put any of my problems on anyone etc everyone does.

I had no confidence what so ever and pretty much hated myself when i was with my ex, but in april we broke up and i started exercising and lost 2 and half stone, so therefore my confidence started coming back and i begun liking myself again.

I'm a very positive person despite my problems, which i guess helps a lot with my anxiety. So overall i don't hate myself, i guess.

blackpuma said:

People are like art I think, many can't see how truly beautifull they are because they're too close to themselves. They see and feel every flaw, but are blind to the picture as a whole.

It takes a beholder's eye to make them realize what beautiful good people they are.

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I guess, in my case, I don't have the benefit of a beholder's perspective.

I picked "dislike but not hate"

Yes, very much.. When I had some severe depression.. It was horrible.. Everyday was hell.

I've gotten better though, glad to say. I voted Dislike, I see very little good qualities in me. What good is a person who can barely keep a conversation going? As a kid, I would see my brother make friends so easily and I would wonder how he did this. So I ended up asking him what to say to people every ten seconds, like "Would you say this to a person?" or "Would they think it was weird if I said this?" And just to make sure I had got it down right i asked, "Really?" By that point I guess he was pretty annoyed so he didn't answer.

I don't want to dislike myself, I grew up with insults thrown at me a lot and harsh people.

i like myself until i am around other people who push their judgements on me to make me feel inadequate.

Sometimes :/

Yeah, often. I only like a few things about my personality, but everything else is just bleh...

as a whole, no, but there are a lot of things I reeeaaallly hate about myself. My arrogance for one, and just my general twatishness and being a dick. I say and do so many stupid things. I hate that about myself.......oh and my face, I have an annoying face!

I picked the first option, because .. it's true.

Nah, I don't. I realize that I've missed out on some things in life because I've limited myself in some aspects, but as such, I don't experience self-loathing. I feel more like I wish I could go back in time, instill some confidence and knowledge in myself, and then start over again. So a little fine-tuning at most.

p i a n o♬;334319 said:

Yes, very much.. When I had some severe depression.. It was horrible.. Everyday was hell.

I've gotten better though, glad to say. I voted Dislike, I see very little good qualities in me. What good is a person who can barely keep a conversation going? As a kid, I would see my brother make friends so easily and I would wonder how he did this. So I ended up asking him what to say to people every ten seconds, like "Would you say this to a person?" or "Would they think it was weird if I said this?" And just to make sure I had got it down right i asked, "Really?" By that point I guess he was pretty annoyed so he didn't answer.

I don't want to dislike myself, I grew up with insults thrown at me a lot and harsh people.

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I definitely can't keep a conversation going. I rarely ever talk to people... only when forced to, have panic & anxiety attacks all the time over everything, have no friends, spend most of my time in the house, have never had a job because of my issues, or a relationship, & I'm 28 years old. Yet, despite all that, I still like myself. Being bad at something, even something everyone else takes for granted, like social skills, etc. is no reason not to like yourself. I really hope you can start to feel better about yourself

dottie said:

i like myself until i am around other people who push their judgements on me to make me feel inadequate.

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I'm kind of similar to that, only I don't dislike myself afterward. I feel really inadequate & sort-of "wrong" when I'm around other people because I'm so unlike them. I have issues with inadequacy, especially around others my age. But I don't dislike myself because of it. I usually just get mad at the other people for trying to make me feel bad when they don't know me & have no clue what life is like for me.

telepathine said:

eek. i don't know. someone recently told me that i'm a horrible person, but i know in my heart that he's not entirely correct. (he's manipulative and abusive. don't worry, i've cut off contact with him.)
i don't exactly like myself either, for many reasons. at the moment, i'm feeling a bit... meh. i don't think i'm hopeless... but i have loads of work to do.

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I'm glad you cut off contact with that person It was definitely the best thing to do. I've also been told/called horrible things by people before. My dad used to call me "hateful" when I was a teenager & I've had people flat out tell me that I'm unlikeable & mean. I know it's not true, though. It's just that I may come across that way because a lot of people take my fear or aloof way of being as rudeness.

There is no question I have low self esteem, and criticism can really make me sink into anxiety and depression.

However, I am adult enough with myself, to try and look after my health, to live as well as I can, to protect myself from harm. I don't hate myself so much that I don't care about what happens to me, or that I want to hurt myself.

On balance I think I am beginning to like myself more, or at least the potential that is there, if I work harder at fighting the battles I face.

I don't hate or dislike myself as much as I feel unworthy of anything. Every time I get sick or have a headache I end up in an argument with Mom because I refuse to take anything. Why take an aspirin when the headache will eventually go away and I don't deserve the little pill that could make the pain go away?

But this is really where my personality splits. Sometimes I feel like I don't even deserve the air I breathe. I've even thought about suicide on purely practical grounds. After all, what good is a life when one constantly takes from others and never gives anything back? I'm not suicidal, but I've debated its merits with myself several times. I've thought of it like a business: would the boss keep on a worker who never does anything productive?

But there's another part of me that thinks I deserve so much more. He curses out the first part and tries to not just get something better for himself, but wants to help others do the same. He knows he's even a fairly decent person; he just has some issues that he needs to work out.

Unfortunately, the former has been in control for the past several months....

I hate myself because I am worthless and not worth a f*** for anyone.

I actually love myself. I admire myself so much because I'm so weak and fragile at times and need to take care of myself sometimes. But ya I really like myself and how I faced all the negativity I had in life.

I love my body. There is nothing about my appearance that I am unhappy about.

My mind however, I have a love/hate relationship with. When I am around people that I know and respect, I tend to have a greater love for myself than when I am alone with nobody else but me.

I don't hate myself, but I certainly don't like myself. However, I think I have some inner sense of dignity that prevents me letting others treat me like crap - even when I myself have low opinion of myself, that is none of their business. I want others to treat me well, or at least in a dignified and fair way.