Do you hate asking people?

recluse

Well-known member
What i mean is do you hate asking people for help o'r to borrow something? I'm like this, i hate bothering people so i try to be as independent as possible. I even hate asking for example a garage mechanic to look at my car!
 

alex29

Well-known member
100% understand what your saying

i hate inconveniencing people. I dont mind if Im inconvenienced. people dont seem to notice im constantly putting myself at a disadvantage to help them while never asking anyone else for help. I feel extremely guilty if i do ask someone for something, no matter how insignificant it is. and i know its unreasonable! i just hate doing it

I feel very unappreciated, but I dont have the confidence in myself to speak out and tell someone about this.

ppl know I'm independent and they seem to think I can handle any problem on my own, when really im quietly suffering inside with no one around for support.
 

IceLad

Well-known member
Totally agree with you 100%. I try to be as independent as possible rather than having to rely upon or ask others for help. On the few occasions I do, I think I sometimes go over the top in thanking them- almost as if they've just performed some sort of miracle on my behalf!
 

Doomed2Die

Well-known member
You know, on the surface this seems like how we as SA'ers are dancing left right and center for other people (as usual) but in the sense that individualism is praised in the average society. Hmm, anyone else see this? Because I'm over this now, in fact reverse, if I bug someone for asking something small/trivial and they look down on me I just laugh because it's just them being snobbish over something small.

Individualism is laughably absurd the way it is valued in the extreme.
 

LonelyGirl

Well-known member
I can relate to that. I feel so guilty for asking someone for the tiniest thing. I always think I don't deserve favours from anyone and I worry about it for ages before and after I ask them. I worry I haven't thanked them enough and then after thanking them several times start to worry that I've thanked them too much and they'll think its weird. It's ridiculous!
 

Foxglove

Well-known member
Yes, I really despise asking anyone for help with anything. Example: I had knee surgery last week. My mother in law lives right next door, but didn't offer to help with anything like cooking, walking the dog, etc. So, I didn't ask her for any help, just hobbled around and did everything myself. I know that's stupid, but I hate the thought of being dependent for something, or feeling like I owe something.
 

Foxglove

Well-known member
recluse said:
I even hate asking for example a garage mechanic to look at my car!

That's something totally different. I'm sure you pay the man good money to fix your car. That is his job, and it's not like you're asking him to do it for free. He would be out of work if people didn't need his services.
 

shon

Well-known member
I never ask for help either. I thought it was because my dad taught me that once I moved out of the house, I had to be responsible for myself and not ask him for anything. Also, I've been independant for years so I didn't think about the fact that I don't ask because I can't.

I had cancer a couple years ago and thank goodness my mom offered to fly all the way from the U.S. to Germany to help take care of my kids while I went through certain treatments and a couple hospital stays.
 

recluse

Well-known member
Foxglove said:
recluse said:
I even hate asking for example a garage mechanic to look at my car!

That's something totally different. I'm sure you pay the man good money to fix your car. That is his job, and it's not like you're asking him to do it for free. He would be out of work if people didn't need his services.

Yeah i know, but i still feel like i am a burden to everyone.
 

BreakingFree

Well-known member
Do you hate asking people

I do too. I resent the feeling of obligation that comes along with accepting help. Its hard to fathom that someone offers help, because they want to and not wanting anything in return! It just does not sit well with me!
 

nhen

Active member
SP prevents me from asking for help, because I have a problem with reinforcing other people's opinions that I'm weak (most people see someone with SP and they just assume he/she is an idiot). SP also prevents me from helping strangers in need. That reinforces people's opinions that I'm an A-hole. It's ironic, the only time I ever had even a slight handle on my SP was when I utterly convinced myself that I didn't care what the hell other people thought or said. I wrote them off and tried living life for myself. Even more ironic, it made me way more compassionate, kind, popular, and even attractive to the opposite sex. I've been trying unsuccessfully to recapture that "golden age" of my life ever since. The problem is, it's when you start caring again that it all falls apart.
 

Biggle

Member
Yeah its the same for me too, i hate asking for help too, so most of the time i do things myself, and when i force myself to do it(like my therapist advised me) i get very nervous and sometimes go blank :/
 
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