Do you ever want to have children?

Do you ever want to have children?

  • Total voters
    71
Coper

Coper

Active member
I don't. Mainly, I think it would put me in all sorts of situations that would make me socially anxious. Secondly, I think about all the grief I've caused my parents, and I wouldn't want to have to put up with that from my hypothetical children. Thirdly, I worry that they would inherit SA and/or depression from me. Fourthly, I worry that taking care of them would be so much work that it would detract from my career, which is already so much work that I can barely cope with it.

On the other hand, not wanting to have children, ever, seems like a problematic obstacle when I think about starting to date. Assuming most girls I meet would like to eventually start a family, how would I screen them out? I don't want to get in a long-term relationship, only to have to end it because of this issue. OTOH, it seems like it would be weird to bring it up the first time I meet a girl. And god knows I don't want to get roped into having children just so I can stay with a girl I like. :roll:
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
I don't want children!! To be honest children annoy me and I don't like having to deal with them. I wouldn't want to bring a child into my screwed up enviroment, for my, as well as the childs sake. I would just get really frustrated with them and I wouldn't want to do anything bad!!!! Not all women want children, don't worry so much :wink: !!
 
bleach

bleach

Banned
I would probably wind up raising a child the way I was raised. The wrong way. I don't need that on my conscience.
 
RedRibbons

RedRibbons

Well-known member
hmm I want children. But at the same time.. I don't. I'm not 100% sure of my motives.. But I would like to create something between my hypothetical husband and I.

To raise a child together, and to love it. To give it opportunities and help it to become a great person. To bring someone into this world to help change the world. That's just hoping though.

Yea. There is a possibility of my child developing anxiety/ocd/depression or any other 'illness/disorder'... I think I would be able to understand and cope though, for the most part..

Yea...
 
ripewithdecay

ripewithdecay

Well-known member
Yeah, I think i'd be an awesome/fun dad. It's actually one of the things i look forward to later in life. (hopefully things start to get better soon...)
 
Hael

Hael

Member
I have two children. My son has been diagnosed with social phobia and depression. However - later he received a diagnosis of aspergers - he still stuggles.
My daughter is very shy.
 
ktea

ktea

Well-known member
I don't want to have kids, EVER. #1 reason being that the thought of being intimate with someone terrifies me.

Also I don't want to go through the physical pain, and I'd prefer not to have stretchmarks, thanks. Kids are just headaches and money-wasters wrapped up in cute little packages.

Some people should never procreate... I am one.

Also my genes aren't exactly what one would call "desirable."
 
Rodox

Rodox

Well-known member
I think it would be the best feeling in life to have a kid with someone you love,but I dont think I will ever have one,I am also afraid he/she will inherit my problems and I dont want that to anyone specially my son/daughter...so I pick -I'm not sure.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
No! And the reason why is because the world is such a dark place(war, murder,drugs,rape etc) it's unfair to let children grow up in here. Another reason is because i would be a terrible role model; I would never want any child to have the same insecurities as i have, and also for financial reasons.
 
VioletTears

VioletTears

Well-known member
I have a little one... A son who is 20 months old. He is truly the light of my life. I can't even begin to express in words how amazing it is to have a child of your own... I just know that he means more to me than anything in the world, that his joy and happiness is more important than my own, and that in my darkest moments, he always gives me reason to live.

Is it hard, though? Yes. In the beginning, when he was really little, it actually wasn't. Parenting comes very naturally to me. But last fall I got hit with a huge depression that really hasn't worn off, so getting off my butt to do anything is really hard, and add to that the fact that I really want to socialize him yet simply can't for the life of be "click" with any other moms out there... Yes, it's hard.

I set 3 goals for myself a few months back... One was to set the timer and clean for 15 minutes per day, one was to cook something each day (even if it's something simple) and the last was to go out of my way to do something fun with him each day... I have pretty much stuck it out with the last one because no matter how low I am, I know he deserves it... So we go to the park and the farm and the zoo all the time, and on rainy days we do messy art and things, and so in the end, while I'm maybe not as good as other moms at providing certain things (socialization, a clean home, fancy meals...) I know I go above and beyond at giving him others... and I know that he will always feel loved, at least by me.

But all that said, I really want to give him a sibling someday, for his sake more than for mine, but I wrestle with that a lot... It feels so important and yet I don't want to push myself over the edge, because another child will mean more stress... Hopefully I can get better soon and things will be okay...

Here is my little boy:)

gorgeouslittleelf19mosjm7.jpg


shavingcream5snv4.jpg
 
sleepysparrow

sleepysparrow

Well-known member
VioletTears said:
I have a little one... A son who is 20 months old. He is truly the light of my life. I can't even begin to express in words how amazing it is to have a child of your own... I just know that he means more to me than anything in the world, that his joy and happiness is more important than my own, and that in my darkest moments, he always gives me reason to live.

Is it hard, though? Yes. In the beginning, when he was really little, it actually wasn't. Parenting comes very naturally to me. But last fall I got hit with a huge depression that really hasn't worn off, so getting off my butt to do anything is really hard, and add to that the fact that I really want to socialize him yet simply can't for the life of be "click" with any other moms out there... Yes, it's hard.

I set 3 goals for myself a few months back... One was to set the timer and clean for 15 minutes per day, one was to cook something each day (even if it's something simple) and the last was to go out of my way to do something fun with him each day... I have pretty much stuck it out with the last one because no matter how low I am, I know he deserves it... So we go to the park and the farm and the zoo all the time, and on rainy days we do messy art and things, and so in the end, while I'm maybe not as good as other moms at providing certain things (socialization, a clean home, fancy meals...) I know I go above and beyond at giving him others... and I know that he will always feel loved, at least by me.

But all that said, I really want to give him a sibling someday, for his sake more than for mine, but I wrestle with that a lot... It feels so important and yet I don't want to push myself over the edge, because another child will mean more stress... Hopefully I can get better soon and things will be okay...

Here is my little boy:)

gorgeouslittleelf19mosjm7.jpg


shavingcream5snv4.jpg
Click to expand...

your little boy is so beautiful. He looks so happy. I bet you're a great Mommy :)
 
ljwwriter

ljwwriter

Well-known member
I definitely want to have children someday, but I just can't see it happening. I don't think anything will quite change your life like having a child, for better or for worse. But it seems like so many of us with social anxiety will never have that big of a change in our lives.
 
VioletTears

VioletTears

Well-known member
Awww, thanks, SleepySparrow:) I'm sure that you are, too.

I think that one possitive is that we tend to have this knack for analyzing what people are thinking and feeling, which isn't so good when we use it to fuel our paranoia about what people might think of US, but it can actually be a good thing as a parent. It helps us to be more sensitive and responsive to our children's emotions.
 
celestialrecluse

celestialrecluse

Well-known member
omg VioletTears your son is so cayute!!

i agree whole heartedly with everything sleepysparrow said!
i want to have children someday, obviously when im more emotionally and financially stable, i have two little brothers who are my life at the moment, i look after them like 90% of the time, so in a way i already have two kids.lols!
 
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