Do you come of as being cocky or having a problem with pride?

Do you think with SA and trying to avoid ppl, you can come off as being very cocky or is it just in my case?

I was at Home depot with my mom and this man helping us was telling us to go on the site to schedule a carpet guy to come over and because I have problems with keeping eye contact with people, I didnt look like I was paying attention but I heard everything he said. I kept looking around pretending to play with my little sister but I was listening. As soon a we leave, my mom tells me that shes noticed that issue with me in many situations.

Gee thanks. Ughh It sucks when they dont know theres a real issue behind all that. I cant tell them though.

My dad once told me that it seems as if I act like I'm better than everyone else. That really surprised me because I don't feel that way at all, I feel as if I'm not worthy to the rest of the world. So I guess I can relate.

My dad once told me that it seems as if I act like I'm better than everyone else. That really surprised me because I don't feel that way at all, I feel as if I'm not worthy to the rest of the world. So I guess I can relate.

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Same here. Don't know how people jumped to that conclusion.

Razzlecherry said:

My dad once told me that it seems as if I act like I'm better than everyone else. That really surprised me because I don't feel that way at all, I feel as if I'm not worthy to the rest of the world. So I guess I can relate.

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YES, Shes told me that before. Like you said, I dont even think I am worthy to be in anyones presence. I feel like am bothering them so its the complete opposite.

That's extremely common for a shy person to come off as cocky. It's a bad cocky, though, in your case, because it's coming off as an anti-social cocky.

Most people desire attention and when they don't receive that attention they will try to come up with their own conclusions on what they think of you. In most cases, that conclusion will be negative.

What I want to learn is how to be a more positive cocky, like in The Game by Neil Strauss. He talks about how being cocky and funny can work in a guy's favor with picking up women.

I don't think I come across as cocky, but people have told me I come across as stuck-up/standoffish. I'm also told that I come across as seeming like I think I know everything. I think the latter is due to me being stuck for conversation so I just blurt random facts if I'm pressed.

TryAgain said:

When I’m contacting directly with people I try to be polite and smile, but always give out a weirdo vibe.

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I do that too. I get asked why I look angry all the time.

lol I look creepy when I smile too and sometimes I'll smile/say hi and they dont reply. Ughh rude. Its takes a lot of effort for me to do that.

jryden, I think we have similarities, from what you've said before.

Cocky is a new way to put it, and I am. My pride and self worth runs deep. Normal people don't get me. The people I have difficulties with are those who can't look beyond their own nose and their comfort zone of mummy & daddy world, and drilled-in salesperson spiel and their basic bullying ways - male and female. Getting their high horse. Telephone is my worst ground. People do their 'business' by hiding behind their glamourous telephone. No body language. no eyes. No sense of humour. No grasp of the real world; paid too much, to read from their boss' factsheet and rules. Newsreader with their autocue. I have to cope with a world ruled by simpletons. I never wanted to develop a superiority attribute - it's all due to annoying minions I have to deal with. I have no other options. My world communication is customer service. This includes recruiters, bound by the simplest method to reject anyone who steps beyond their superperson requirements. I am the world's customer.

We have a solid website to share gripes with, using the same language, not needing a telephone

I have bottled fury with phone people with a vocab of 'hello. uh. I'm polite, articulate, and everything goes OK when meeting for real enthusiasm in person' I was just never prepared for a world barrier of trained cocky psychologists waiting for me to run into their slip-up traps to be eliminated.

I get into a good or bad day, depending who's in the street or on the phone. I always start as a smiling, polite fella. I easily feel mocked.

RazzleCherry, my older brother, who is Father age to me, says I think I'm always right. I may never get past my superiority attribute. I get on perfectly with doctors about my health. I always make them laugh. My pride gives me an experienced balanced perspective of life, although not currently successful. I have to deal with simple people. My roots began when I was 7, in an electronics shop, knowing the products and prices already, I'd either find salespeople idiots and point at things and say 'no - that's wrong - look!' Or on the other side, people in a store or car showroom or banging on about religion in the street, all types of people who want my money, I crumble into my shell, but due to pity for them, and embarrassed that I can't get down to their level. I feel I can help people. But nobody listens to me

Yes. attention-grabbers on the phone or anyone else in real could hold my future in their hands. Police. I have a reaction which is now quite balanced. From just my perspective. Not theirs. I keep learning

Recruiters and employers are work police.

I think there are more factors to everyone's standpoint and hierarchy and structure of authority in work / wages or physical harm to either. For me, it's mostly language and having any common interests with people who control me, and feel superior

My main relationship with my brother is extremely rare. Nobody listens to me. It's a one-way conversation with everyone. I speak. They don't get it. There's no point listening to them. My main weapon, rooted from this website, I think, is now to ask everyone to elaborate on 'xxxx' which I think it's too much for them to understand the question, or claim that I am just rude

In Jr. High I got bullied. People said I was stuck up. I had low self-esteem and was terrified of people, but I did dress "cool" and try and act like I was cool and not bothered. Most of the time I thought people could see through it and see the terror in my eyes. I guess not.

What is this?

Snobbery! Inheritance!

Fathoms!

I was lucky to have good school. I was among the posh type. My background was simple. Working class. From school to uni put me straight into a realistic, ground level.

Chose a good, fun attitude. For a while. High hopes. Unsure how I ended up in my rut. I'm ready for anything. Redemtion

Maybe.

I honestly don't know. I do want to break through not being very social with people, but it's hard. I think with some people I have an already ruined relationship, maybe they think I'm arrogant, so it's hard to win their respect back.

I am afraid that I do seem aloof, snobby, eccentric, brooding, cold, odd, stuck-up...

Of course the exterior is vastly different than the interior. I feel like "Oh, you're annoying that person, you don't deserve to speak, because you're an idiot and worthless.", but if I can trust the feedback, then my demeanor doesn't come off like that.

I really hope people think I'm just aloof and not so anxious with low self-esteem. The idea that people know how shy and nervous I am feels me with dread.