Old 02-03-2015
April72's Avatar
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 191
Thanked 0 Times
April72 April72 is offline
Intermediate User
April72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 191
Thanked 0 Times
Hola,
People use to have the impression that avoidants are sloopy people, careless of their higiene.

My last psychologist put the stress on the importance of taking care of the image we project other people. It's not for narcissist reason but bc we have a part of our self-steem which is fed by the feedback other people provide us. That is, the social self-steem.

To be honest, I used to be careless of my look. Most of the time due to depression. I didn't give a damn about anything.
If I wasn't depressive, I was in a low mood and procrastinated as hell. I didn't like to go to a hairdresser's bc, you know, hairdressers don't stop talking ever.
I neither liked to go shopping bc nothing get well on me.
I stopped doing physical exercise because when I was in my teens, I used to do it everyday and along with eating little...I don't know bc I thought it would solve all my problems, but I realized I did all these things for nothing.

What do you think? What's your case? Are you feeding your social self-steem?
April72 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-03-2015
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
NamiraWilhelm NamiraWilhelm is offline
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
Way way too much. I'll spend a lot of time on it knowing I'll never be appeased with the outcome, fixating on stupid things no one will notice such as how symmetrical my eyebrows are or... actually anything for that matter, anyone who'd care about that sort of thing on my behalf probably isn't worth knowing. Most people don't care, I can rationalise that but it's yet to be ingrained.
I'll make all this effort and then still carry out behaviours such as wearing a hood, wearing sunglasses, leaving my hair down so I can cover my face with it.
It's all a tremendous waste of my time xD
NamiraWilhelm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-03-2015
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: South Island of NZ
Posts: 201
Thanked 13 Times
SCP-087-1 SCP-087-1 is offline
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: South Island of NZ
Posts: 201
Thanked 13 Times
I like to give the impression that I don't care but I actually care way too much
SCP-087-1 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-04-2015
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Portugal
Posts: 1,918
Thanked 241 Times
Sacrament Sacrament is offline
Elite User
Sacrament's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Portugal
Posts: 1,918
Thanked 241 Times
It's important to take care of yourself, physically and mentally/emotionally/spiritually.
Sacrament is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-04-2015
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 26
Thanked 0 Times
Izzie Izzie is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Europe
Posts: 26
Thanked 0 Times
I do very much - too much. I'm always searching for some make-up trick or new hairstyle that will make me feel content with my appearance. It is almost like I think if I just got my hair right I would be/feel so much more attractive/better about myself. I have lost count of the number of hairstyles and colours I have had.
I refuse to leave the house without any make-up and get very anxious about it and about what I'm wearing and I'm regularly wondering if people are thinking about my appearance in a negative way.
I had thought I was a very vain person but now I am understanding myself better I can see it is not as simple as vanity.
Izzie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-04-2015
Metal_isthe_Answer's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 555
Thanked 4 Times
Metal_isthe_Answer Metal_isthe_Answer is offline
Expert User
Metal_isthe_Answer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 555
Thanked 4 Times
I dont really care too much. For example, I've barely bought new clothes in the past few years, just a shirt here and there
__________________
If you're hungry, eat!
Monkey D. Luffy - One Piece
Metal_isthe_Answer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-04-2015
Steiner's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: United States, TX
Posts: 664
Thanked 7 Times
Steiner Steiner is offline
Expert User
Steiner's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: United States, TX
Posts: 664
Thanked 7 Times
Do you use any other forums? Your username looks familiar.

I try to care a little. Maybe when I am not going out but when I do go out I try to look somewhat okay. I worry more about my smell I think.

As of late I've been really trying to improve myself. Better overall hygiene. Flossing, brushing bathing.
Steiner is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-04-2015
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
NamiraWilhelm NamiraWilhelm is offline
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by Izzie View Post
I do very much - too much. I'm always searching for some make-up trick or new hairstyle that will make me feel content with my appearance. It is almost like I think if I just got my hair right I would be/feel so much more attractive/better about myself. I have lost count of the number of hairstyles and colours I have had.
I refuse to leave the house without any make-up and get very anxious about it and about what I'm wearing and I'm regularly wondering if people are thinking about my appearance in a negative way.
I had thought I was a very vain person but now I am understanding myself better I can see it is not as simple as vanity.
I refuse to leave the house bare faced too! At my job we're not allowed to wear any make up. So I do anyway, but that just presents a new thing to be anxious about re getting told off by the boss! Worth it.
NamiraWilhelm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-05-2015
dannyboy65's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,001
Thanked 48 Times
dannyboy65 dannyboy65 is offline
Elite User
dannyboy65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,001
Thanked 48 Times
When I was younger I cared a lot what I looked like. Right now though I feel happy with how I look, could lose some weight. But other then that I am happy with myself. But I'm always working on personal things so that will come eventually.
dannyboy65 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-05-2015
April72's Avatar
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 191
Thanked 0 Times
April72 April72 is offline
Intermediate User
April72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 191
Thanked 0 Times
So do I. I cared a lot following a diet and doing physical exercise bc I didn't like my face or my body. I was about to develop anorexia.
I believed that if I were different I would solve my mental and social problems.
However, I'm very happy with my physical now. I take care of it because of what I explain in the starting thread post about social self-steem but it's not an obssession as before.
April72 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Psychedelicious's Avatar
Dreams of frosting...
Elite User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,180
Thanked 32 Times
Psychedelicious Psychedelicious is offline
Dreams of frosting...
Elite User
Psychedelicious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,180
Thanked 32 Times
Yes, and probably way too much. I honestly wish I had the confidence to not care and be comfortable to step foot outside without a stitch of makeup on. I don't even know who I'm trying to impress sometimes, and I highly doubt my attempts to look decent are ever successful. Other than getting myself a bit more toned I feel like I've done everything in my power to look the best I can, other than having surgery or other cosmetic procedures. I can’t afford cosmetic procedures anyhow…. believe me I would do it if I could, but I wonder what difference would it make anyways? I’ll still be me won’t I? That seems to be what the genuine problem is.

Psychedelicious is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Behind you
Posts: 3,174
Thanked 522 Times
PugofCrydee PugofCrydee is offline
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
PugofCrydee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Behind you
Posts: 3,174
Thanked 522 Times
I really don't care what other people think of my appearance. Take me for who I am or shove off. I exercise to feel better.
PugofCrydee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 397
Thanked 1 Time
Zaki Zaki is offline
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 397
Thanked 1 Time
Yeah. I carry a pocket mirror everywhere and am constantly staring at myself. It's not a vanity thing at all. It's actually because of extreme insecurity.
__________________
I want pizza. At all times.
Zaki is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
NamiraWilhelm NamiraWilhelm is offline
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 249
Thanked 3 Times
I can't abide my own reflection and photographs make me cry
NamiraWilhelm is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Elite User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 1,673
Thanked 5 Times
anomicdeer anomicdeer is offline
Elite User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 1,673
Thanked 5 Times
Sometimes but I do like to shower. I don't just go out smelly when I can just get in the shower to prevent it. But when I'm really messed up and need to go out I just wear baggy clothes. Thats why I dont mind the cold months because I get comfort from wearing clothes so I dress in layers and when I need to go out I just theow on a lose pair of pants and jacket and coat...
anomicdeer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: genpop
Posts: 3,762
Thanked 352 Times
MollyBeGood MollyBeGood is offline
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: genpop
Posts: 3,762
Thanked 352 Times
Lately no. I no longer color my hair, rarely brush it, buy new clothes maybe once a yr at the most-I always buy used...I maybe put some mascara on when going out. I shower 3 times a week b/c our water is so hard it strips all of the oils out of your skin and hair. Because I rarely go into public by choice I am fine with the hippie look
MollyBeGood is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-07-2015
Graeme1988's Avatar
Hie ye hence from me heath!
Elite User
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8,605
Thanked 498 Times
Graeme1988 Graeme1988 is online now
Hie ye hence from me heath!
Elite User
Graeme1988's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8,605
Thanked 498 Times
Naw, no' really. Ah mean ah'll shower twice a week but that's it. Ah dinnae bother shaving as much as ah used to - aside from ma heid. Cannae really bring masel' to shave ma beard off - mainly cuz ah think it suits me and it covers the scar on ma chin. Though ah'll trim any wee loose ends, if there's any.

But ah still cannae stand ma ain reflection or huvin ma photo taken. Cuz ah jist end up being overly critical o' ma appearence. Ah also feel self-conscious whenever ah step ootside in ma tracksuit top, trainers and ma peaked cap - whoa! Nearly went full NED there.
Graeme1988 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-08-2015
jayfan's Avatar
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The West Coast
Posts: 111
Thanked 0 Times
jayfan jayfan is offline
Intermediate User
jayfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The West Coast
Posts: 111
Thanked 0 Times
more then i should.
im said to be vain and shallow. i run 30 miles a week minimum, eat clean. Constantly doing pull ups , push ups and lifting weights. i do it for myself though. i hate my face . scar on left upper cheek , wide nose , thick eyebrows , wide face.... hate my face , like my body.
i do care alot about what people think of my appearance.
jayfan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-08-2015
Kiwong's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: falling for life wave after wave and never saying goodbye
Posts: 7,777
Thanked 479 Times
Kiwong Kiwong is offline
Elite User
Kiwong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: falling for life wave after wave and never saying goodbye
Posts: 7,777
Thanked 479 Times
No I don't. I rarely look in the mirror, should shave more often, I don't like the look of myself at all. I am fit, and I am toned, but I don't run for the physical appearance, I run because it is the best form of mindfulness I know, and to experience my running adventures, which make me so happy.
__________________
In my dreams nothing holds me down, there is only out and away. I wish I could die and be reborn as a bird. William Wharton Birdy
Kiwong is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-08-2015
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Behind you
Posts: 3,174
Thanked 522 Times
PugofCrydee PugofCrydee is offline
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
Elite User
PugofCrydee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Behind you
Posts: 3,174
Thanked 522 Times
I shower 6 days a week - mostly because I cant stand the smell of my own BO if I dont shower.. lol. But on a Saturday I'll skip a shower.. just once. Saturday is my lazzzzzzy day.
PugofCrydee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
List AT LEAST one thing you all like about your physical appearance? J.Christine.89 Meeting People 188 05-16-2018 06:28 PM
Obsessed with your appearance? violeteyes Social Anxiety Forum 26 10-13-2015 02:25 AM
Do you think physical appearance matters in socializing? Srijita52 Member Introductions 27 07-25-2011 02:03 AM
appearance/sa chickenmaryjane Social Anxiety Forum 20 03-20-2009 02:53 AM

All times are GMT. The time now is 05:17 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
 
Contact Us Privacy