Do you believe your SA could have been prevented?

yes, for me i belive that being an only child has made me socially phobic, my family is small and i was only ever with the oldies so ya no.... i did go to nursery and school tho. anyone else think the same?

I’m unsure, there’s somewhat of a genetic history of shyness in my family, but the chaotic atmosphere I was raised in seems to have inflamed my own into social phobia. It’s like shyness plus post traumatic stress combined for me.

Yah I do. Just made a point on this in another post

I believe that you have to be genetically pre-disposed to having this trait but I believe you also have to be pushed environmentally towards this trait for it to display.
so basically I believe that if some of us weren't mis-treated or were cared for better and had a better childhood/adolescance we probably wouldn't have these problems even if we were pre-disposed for SA.
But I believe some people may be bullied and have a terrible childhood but not get SA because they are not genetically pre-disposed for it.
so yeahh

Basil said:

Your question cannot be easily answered because there is even degrees of SA in terms of severity and type of symptoms.

Click to expand...

Your SA! In whichever form it takes. I know there's no real answer, but it's an interesting subject to debate.

I feel that I am of a temperament that does not respond well to certain negativite stimulus so, realistically, I would never have been able to go through life without encountering something that would trigger a reaction.

On the other hand, maybe if it had come later in life I'd have been more able to cope as an adult and less likely that it become a formative part of my personality. But I still think that, in some ways, I am just a chronically sensitive individual.

Basil said:

My argument is simply that a lot of people have just had SA all their lives, they just do not remember a time they weren't in shy or having some of SA symptoms. There is no place here for any environment-related explanations.

But it does of course vary in severity depending on the various accidents/traumas/experiences in life, no doubt.

Click to expand...

This is what is so baffling for me- I've always been shy/avoidant, but I can't remember any particularly traumatic experiences that would have "triggered" it, or see any evidence of anxiety running in my family.

If my high school had provided a safer environment. The bullying I received at school has affected the rest of my life.

Yes.

I can look back to a few moments in my life, that if changed, may have made me a different person. I may not have the anxiety that I have now, but I can't say I would be a "better" person. SA may have prevented me from growing up into a douche bag or something.. *laughs*

There are so many factors involved. My main issues are either physical with the brain, or upbringing.

Having 50-year-old parents is worse than people think. When a child is 10, a parent may not be up to the demands of shaping their future at that point.

Having nobody of any similar age to grow up with is crucial

yes it could have.

If we did not move to the place where I attended a very small school (12 students) when I was 8/9/10, then yes, I would not have been severely bullied in the circumstances that caused my social phobia.

Still hold immense anger in me because my mother did not bother to get me out of that hell hole sooner

Kiwong said:

If my high school had provided a safer environment. The bullying I received at school has affected the rest of my life.

Click to expand...

I feel the same way with the bullying. In high school I was an outcast and felt that nobody would like me.

After being more open about my interests on FB, I have had people talk to me on FB chat and invite me out. I am realizing that people want and need me to be around to support them the best I can. On top of that I can be myself instead of trying to be someone else.

BlueDays said:

yes it could have.

If we did not move to the place where I attended a very small school (12 students) when I was 8/9/10, then yes, I would not have been severely bullied in the circumstances that caused my social phobia.

Still hold immense anger in me because my mother did not bother to get me out of that hell hole sooner

Click to expand...

Sorry to learn of the bullying you endured, Blue Days. My bullying happened later when I was 13-15 years old. I still hold immense anger toward the school I went to. I never told my parents.

Yes, it definitely could have. But would I have prevented it if I could, knowing how I would be today? I don't think that I would. Who knows what I would be like without the experiences that made me what I am today.

I would like to have grown up in one place instead of moving around constantly as we did - I lived in something like 12 different houses before the age of 18, including a homeless shelter with my mum and siblings in order to escape my violent/alcoholic father. After that episode we moved to the Netherlands when I was 7, where I had a hard time because suddenly everything was in Dutch - I felt confused and like I had no real identity or sense of belonging. My father rejoined our family again there, but the arguments between my parents only got worse, and there were screaming matches and physical abuse in our house every day. My parents were cold people and never expressed any joy or love towards us kids - we were always nuisances and constantly being told to shut up/go to our room. I remember crying a lot as a kid, and hiding/trying to get away as much as I could. There were rumors of my father also being a pedophile with him possibly doing bad things to my sister, and not long after that came to light, my brother tried to kill himself. Eventually all the abuse and craziness died out once my parents finally divorced, but all of the above still goes through my mind a lot.

So when I think back on this, I see so much that could've been done differently. I'm sure I would've been a totally different person if I'd grown up in one location, with love, support, and guidance. It's put me off wanting a family of my own, and I can't even seem to trust or appreciate it when I have a healthy interaction with somebody these days - it's like I need a dose of chaos/dysfunction in order for it to feel right. But I also think it's no surprise that I grew up a little on the maladjusted side, so I can't be too hard on myself really.

I think I have been predisposed to the condition to some extent due to my introverted character. There were situations that I found uncomfortable when I was younger that made me avoid those similar situations when older. I hated crowded rooms, playing with lots of children, preferring to spend time alone or with one or two 'friends' only.

My parents were not particularly sociable and I guess I didn't get the interaction / practice at social situations that other children got. My brother was brought up in the same household but as he was far more extroverted than I, he rebelled and became sociable much more easily.

My view is that, once again a character trait, such as the quiet child in the corner, is not considered 'normal' and has become labelled as a disorder.

It's the nature v nurture question that it is difficult to answer. Maybe teachers / parents could identify the signs of social anxiety and try to encourage the child to interact, however painful it might be. However, the central role of any therapy should involve the individual accepting their role in the world and not try to change them to be like everyone else...

Yep. I can remember back to the one thing I could have done to prevent the future actions which then I believed caused my SA. And I keep thinking back to that moment of the one thing I could have done differently, and how my life would be different if I would have done that one action. (As you can tell I don't like talking about it seeing that I am not really explaining it on here.)

But I realize you can't change the past; yet my mindset refuses to move on. My mind still obsesses over that one thing that I could have changed, as if it was yesterday, and how my life could have been different.

I'm not sure. I've been through a lot of **** I'd rather not get into, and as a result of some of that there was a period of about three years where I basically talked to no one and spent all my free time playing video games and reading to avoid facing my life.

I can't really tell cause from effect anymore; I think shutting myself off probably damaged my social development, but I have no real way of knowing just how messed I already was (and am).

it could have

probably if i didn't have all those bad experiences with ppl all my life

yeh If I hadn't have got hyperhidrosis at 20 then following that bad skin.
Was living life quite fully up until that point got those awful conditions.

60% yes, 40% no.
Emotional weirdness runs in the family, but we all could have coped better if we knew then what we know now.