Desperate, lonely, and SICK

nonentity

Member
I've been agoraphobic and suffering from severe OCD for about 17 years now. I lost my entire youth to these illnesses. To top it off I was diagnosed as bipolar about 10 years back. I literally never leave my house except to see my psychiatrist every 8 weeks. I have no friends, NONE. I don't know if anyone can imagine the level of isolation I live on a daily basis. The only person I ever see or talk to is my long-suffering mother. Even people in prison get more social interaction than I do. It's like a self-imposed prison, it really is. I live in a state of fear and desperation constantly. My OCD obsessions, rules and rituals TORMENT me. I am desperate to meet people in similiar situations, that can relate to me on some level as I feel so terribly alone. I'd love to hear other people's stories. Maybe we can become friends or just commiserate. Well, thanks for listening. Hope someone hears me.
 

Sad-Kitten

Well-known member
Hi, welcome to the forum :D Yep same here just me and my mom stuck in my house for about six years now.No friends at all,at least that i have contacted in a while. Finally trying to get out and live. Hope you enjoy the forums wealth of knowledge.

Wow I'm getting so good at this i should get a job as a meet and greet guy :lol:
Damn Pink_Glitter your to quick on the draw :)
 
Welcome to the forum! I'm stuck inside too. Me and my parents argue all the time so I don't really like talking to them, but I have a boyfriend so I get to talk to him, he's great. I've been stuck indoors for about a year now, I've been really anxious for about 5years or so. My friends have disappeared over the last year, so I don't see them any more. It's interesting to find out how quickly people forget about you really.
But I am recovering, like pink glitter I just try to go out as much as I can, try to just go to the shop or just for a drive with someone every evening. I'm also learning a lot about myself and growing up in the process. There is always a reason for hardship, so I try not to get too down about it. I am having this experience to learn, and learn I will! And recover!
Hope you find lots of good advice on the forum, I have.

:D
 

anonymouse

New member
do any of u suffer a really rapid heart rate when u go out? I do. It goes to the 140s and now i darent go out. This seems to be my only symptom, other than a feeling of being nervous. I dont know if the rapid heart rate causes the anxiety or vice versa.

Does this sound like agoraphobia symptoms??
 
anonymouse said:
do any of u suffer a really rapid heart rate when u go out? I do. It goes to the 140s and now i darent go out. This seems to be my only symptom, other than a feeling of being nervous. I dont know if the rapid heart rate causes the anxiety or vice versa.

Does this sound like agoraphobia symptoms??

Yes, that's my main symptom too. That sounds like panic attack symptoms, and since you don't leave the house anymore it's agoraphobia. I'd suggest practising deep muscle relaxation indoors, and things like slow deep breathing, things to slow your heart rate.
Also, remember there isn't anything dangerous about the fast heart rate, it's just caused by the rush of adrenaline you get from the anxiety. Try not to worry about it as much, then maybe it mightn't bother you as much.
The rapid heart rate would be caused by your anxiety, but then intensified by how worried you get when it starts going faster. It's a bit of a vicious circle I'm afraid!
Try practising some method of relaxation, I found it very good for my heart rate. Taking a slow deep breath always helps me in the moment aswell.
 

jbenckiser

Banned
nonentity said:
I've been agoraphobic and suffering from severe OCD for about 17 years now. I lost my entire youth to these illnesses. To top it off I was diagnosed as bipolar about 10 years back. I literally never leave my house except to see my psychiatrist every 8 weeks. I have no friends, NONE. I don't know if anyone can imagine the level of isolation I live on a daily basis. The only person I ever see or talk to is my long-suffering mother. Even people in prison get more social interaction than I do. It's like a self-imposed prison, it really is. I live in a state of fear and desperation constantly. My OCD obsessions, rules and rituals TORMENT me. I am desperate to meet people in similiar situations, that can relate to me on some level as I feel so terribly alone. I'd love to hear other people's stories. Maybe we can become friends or just commiserate. Well, thanks for listening. Hope someone hears me.


Hmm, sounds a lot the same as me except I have to go out every 2 weeks as it's mandatory, and i haven't been diagnosed with anything (because ive not been to a doctor). Oh, and my mother always laughs at me as she thinks i'm "pretending". Which I suppose is why I "pretend" even when i'm not in her presence, which is about 99.99% of the time, hmm? She doesn't get it at all. She is not suffering from me, but I am certainly suffering of her


kayelle said:
It's interesting to find out how quickly people forget about you really.

Yep. Seems that if you don't go outside you're not even worth keeping in contact with. The funny thing is I still think about them, but they probably don't even remember me now. Except maybe making the odd joke about me around their dinner table or perhaps saying to their friend/child/etc "oh you don't want to turn out like HIM, you know that guy". Makes me sick thinking about it actually.
 
Welcome to the forums

And I suffer from this as well, I also have no friends, live with my mother and two brothers but rarely go out except when I really have to but never alone.

I know its not easy, in fact it's like hell but there is help..or so I hear, either way I really hope you can find some peace through talking to others here, I know I have already.


girl.
 
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