Delete

Decided to delete this

yeah i'm gonna have to disagree with you Taw. In my opinion you are a booty call almost. or his other girl is a booty call.

He is gonna play you both. I'm telling you this up front so you don't get hurt in your fist relationship.

either of you could be correct - maybe, if it's not too hard, try to ask him some casual questions about his "girlfriend"? things that are simple questions but would make him nervous if he was lying about it.

Hm... thanks for the insight. I'll try asking him some subtle questions about her eventhough I'm not sure what yet. taws, I can absolutely see him doing something like that...it makes a lot of sense. EmptyWords, that's another posibility. You could both be right. I guess that's just the reality of the situation. Although if you guys are right I hope it's more of the former than the latter. :?

Re: I really like this guy but...

baby girl i can help be outgoing with this guy and tell him straight up that you really likr him, have a thing for him infact but you are getting mixed signals if hes feeling the same question the place of the girlfriends he wold have never asked you out to a movie in the first place if it was serious . he likes you girl! now tell him how you feel!!

I asked him how long he's been seeing this other girl and it's been a tad longer than he's known me. I feel kind of foolish about this whole situation and I'm begining to doubt everything right now. He seemed much more talkative about her than usual and it just made me have second thoughts in telling him that I like him, so I didn't. And I don't think I'm going to mention it for now. Pursing something beyond a friendship may not be the best idea...

Another thing you may not be considering is if you two get together, and then break-up (the probability of that is higher, due to the SA/SP), you will still have to see each other at the job, which may be quite awkward and painful. Thats why many advise against workplace relationships (especially if you are in a job that you really don't want to lose), and why some companies have expicit policies against it.

With that said, I don't think this guy is playing you (specially if he has SA, unless hes BSing you), like taws said, I think he is making up the "girl friend" because he may have the same concerns about dating someone while he's never had a girl-friend either (Ive lied about that before so I didn't look like a deperado). Plus, he's doing the "Seriously/Joking" bit because he may be afraid of rejection (remember, us SPers don't take rejection too well). If you grill him about the "girl friend" he may think not that you are trying to find out if he is a "Player" but that you think he is making the girl up. I know it sucks to get hurt, but I think everyone is just too damn defensive, these %$#@ing "Playas" over time has put everyone so much on the defensive, it's impossible for anyone but them to actually get a date (because they are the masters at breaking past these defenses, while us shy guys who want a relationship beyond the bedroom can't even make a dent)

TAWS- Can always count on you to add a little levity to a post :lol: you have a crazy but good sense of humor

If I were in your situation, I would weigh my options. Either tell him what you are feeling or don't tell him and continue to be friends. On the one hand, you could lose the friendship. If you choose the other option, you could live in curiosity for a long time.

It is likely that he won't tell you his feelings because he is an SA. You might have to make the move.

I worked with a shy guy once that I liked. My other work friend told him that I liked him. After that, the shy guy never made any moves on me. He became more shy I guess. I gave up. I think that if he really liked me or cared that he woulda sucked it up and talked to me. I refused to let him get me down, so I started dating someone else.

Hey Zana. Well your situation is a bit different to mine, but I have a friend that I realy liked and I dont know if I still like. I dont think I do but it comes and goes. I see him quite a bit lately. We are mates and before we started to talk a lot we spoke online and I got really excited when he talked to me that time, only to find out a while later that he too has a girlfriend. Anyway I did tell him that I liked him and that I find him hot and all that...he just said he thought i was hot also...it was weird but now it makes me angry that I never knew he had a girl already. Now he tends to joke that I have the hots for him and I try to deny it but he enjoys it too much to stop teasing me. But I doubt that the guy u like would do that as he is also shy, whereas the dude Im talking about is very much an attention seeker.

I think honesty is the best policy here. u should tell him how u feel and if he says he doesnt feel the same way then at least u will know. its not easy i know, but u could be missing out on something special if u dont tell him...although it could all go wrong also as some ppl have suggested...this is a tough one...this may sound sappy but "follow ur heart" best of luck

Thanks for the input, everyone--I really appreciate it.

I'm still weighing my options so-to-speak. I am leaning on the idea of telling him how I feel. I think its worth the chance in knowing if those feelings are returned or not. And at this point, i don't think our friendship would come to an end even if he didn't feel the same way.

He's opened up more about rejection in the past, and like some of you mentioned here, I think he's being more caution because of that aswell. So I'm thinking I'd probably have to be the one to say something first...

Ofcourse that means I'm leaving myself open to rejection myself, considering he has a 'girlfriend'. But he's opened up more about her too, and from what he's said I do believe he has been seeing someone, but he's also made it very obvious that they're not happy and he's only with her because he doesn't want to be alone.

But now knowing this I find myself feeling guilty. Because if i do tell him how I feel and if he does happen to feel the same and would want to develop a relationship...it would mean I'd be getting between him and the other girl...and I really don't want to cause any unnecessary drama.

Then I feel I've waited so long that maybe he's not interested anymore. He has mentioned asking someone else out at the office but he asked me what I thought about it... and silly me said he should go ahead if he's interested. It was all playful but like i said I've always had trouble figuring out when he's joking or being serious. So yeah, I probably did wait to long and it could be too late.

This is too frustrating.

Angie_05 said:

I think that if he really liked me or cared that he woulda sucked it up and talked to me. I refused to let him get me down, so I started dating someone else.

Click to expand...

Not always so, as happened to me. A girl i really liked had a friend who told me she also liked me a whole lot.

She had just come out of a relationship so i told myself yeah i'll give it sometime and then ask ... yeah sure like that happened :? Still makes me feel crap today.

So in that respect zana, getting it out in the open is probably a good tactic. But if he really does have a GF this does stick you dead in the middle of a potential triangle. Put it this way if you say something to him, someone will probably get hurt - if you dont, you will definitely get hurt.

Its a tricky situation either way you look at it i guess, best of luck whatever you decide to do

If you do tell him and he does have a GF it doesnt mean that things do have to change, people can still operate as friends - its just not easy.