Dating?

I feel like I'm stuck between worlds, I want to date, but I have a few mental conditions which have always made relationships difficult. Social Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD are things I've lived with for almost a decade. I thought it might be interesting to hear if anyone here, who has a similar mental illness or condition, is interested in sharing their relationship stories. It might be interesting to hear what has worked and what hasn't for others. As for me, I've been telling myself I wouldn't date until I get a steady job and keep it for a while, and I'm currently looking for work, but another part of me is impatient. I know I want a relationship. I want to find someone who is motivated to get better, and someone who has at least some ambition, yet I psyche myself out of dating anyone who doesn't have serious personal struggles, because I feel I don't measure up, or relate enough with them. That's why I feel stuck between worlds. Stuck between the world of doctors and friends who half the time aren't really friends, and a world where people actually have fun with life. Anyway that's me, conflicted, frustrated, and wanting something different. By the way does anyone know any other good places online to meet locals, either for making friends or dating?

That's a good point flakey.

I'm suffering from depression, general and social anxiety. Life is messed up, I'm unemployed and have lost all motivation to find a job, and even live.

I have too many problems to sort out, it would be unfair to drag someone else into it. Who am I kidding, I would never find anyone anyway, but I would have much higher chances and feel more comfortable finding a girl when I'm on the road to recovery.

If you want a relationship go for it, but don't expect a girl to fix your mental problems. On the contrary you'll be gaining a new set of problems, but it can be worth it. As for meeting people online you could try meetup.com or the infamous craigslist.com

Personally i'd much rather focus on improving personal well-being before jumping into anything as complicated as a relationship, which i'd fear would mess me up even more. But a decade is a long time, maybe it's time to just go for it and see where it leads. Maybe the girl will even help you fix your problems (though i wouldn't count on it)

I think that was one problem with my only "real" relationship- my ex-husband has major mental problems, and he was expecting them to be fixed if only I were more "loving and understanding"- I still don't think he has been properly diagnosed (me and his family are very sure he is bi-polar) and he doesn't keep at therapy or medicine for very long- he forgets to take pills and finds any reason not to see a counselor- financial, too busy at his job, etc. I was his emotional crutch- he relied on me for his sense of self-worth, and I refused to provide that for him- it has to come from within.

I'm not sure if I would necessarily wait until you're better to get into a relationship, just make sure that you're going into it for the right reasons, and with reasonable expectations, and a lot of patience. The right one could really be worth it.

ya i do want a relationship but how do i just go for it?
its either we are friends, but when I start to see that we are good friends i begin to think that we have potential and i just begin to act weird (i guess my anxiety begins to surface). I assume the anxiety surfaces in situations like this because i do not have any experience in a relationship so i dont really know what to say to take it to the next level (i know you cant just say one thing but its a process, and i get freaked out about it and screw it up)
or i get to freaked out at the end of the first date (u gotta make a move) that i dont contact them anymore because im pretty much a loser after that.
also, i have been on different types of meds that have been helping over the past year. my anxiety is pretty much gone, at least the physical symptoms, but not the thoughts. therapy does not really help. I guess i need to switch meds or something???

Every person has struggles in life. That's the way the world is... nobody has ever achieved perfection except Christ. So if you are able to find someone and want a relationship, don't rob yourself of something great. Just remember what Plato said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

I think you need to find someone to date that knows what ADHD is. I have a girlfriend that has ADHD, and she's not on meds, so it's ALOT of hard work for both of us. She's hasnt been able to stay in relationsships for long before because her ex's didnt know how to handle her.

I look at her as two people: Her illness and her, as a person. I wortship her personallity and ignore her illness. I know when its her ADHD that talking and I know when she's speaking from her heart.

So you need to be open and lay all the cards on the table and tell your date/partner how it is.

i have adhd and it's ruining/ruined my life.
i wake up every morning and cannot rememember thing that happened the day before, i don't like people too much because i feel like other people just don't understand me at all, it feels as though the world is going in fast forward and when people talk to me i usually forget what they say straight away, i think people must think i am a total moron.
i can't read books because i have no memory.
having adhd sucks, it's turned me into a selfish nihlistic complainer.
i wish i was somebody else a lot of the time.

i would love to date but i cant