coworker likes me?

LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
I have a boyfriend and have no interest in this coworker. Once a week we work at the same time all day. There's another girl who works there too, but she leaves early, so it's just me and him during lunch time. He asks me to go to lunch with just him. We're interns, so maybe that's why he just asked me? I said "I'm okay, I already had a bagel" He then says "i'll buy" and I say "haha okay." I go in his car and then feel uncomfortable instantly, and when we get to the lunch place I say "nevermind I will buy it." After this I talk about my boyfriend cuz he kept asking what I like to do. We go back and don't talk that much, except about music. He holds the door as I leave, even though I was all the way down the hallway. Is he just being nice or flirting, because I don't want that?? I guess I will bring lunch beforehand next time? Please help :(
 
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MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
From what you've told me, there's a chance he likes you, but after you mentioned your boyfriend and he's still acting the same, I think he's just being nice.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
MikeyC said:
From what you've told me, there's a chance he likes you, but after you mentioned your boyfriend and he's still acting the same, I think he's just being nice.
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Maybe he just wants to be sociable with the only other person there. Maybe he doesn't care that she has a boyfriend. Too little information to go on.
 
A86

A86

Well-known member
When being nice is so rare it is often mistaken for flirting these day's?
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
This sounds flirty to me.

Maybe your boyfriend could take you to lunch one day? That will send the message loud and clear in "guy-speak" that you're not available.
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
FountainandFairfax said:
This sounds flirty to me.

Maybe your boyfriend could take you to lunch one day? That will send the message loud and clear in "guy-speak" that you're not available.
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Oh no :( k just going to never go out to lunch with him to be safe. I feel like if my bf came it wouldn't correlate with "I'm always going to bring lunch now excuse" unless it becomes necessary. He did call me "man" once tho so hopefully he's just being friendly...
 
paperie

paperie

Well-known member
It sounds like he's just being nice and doesn't want to eat lunch alone. Holding the door is just a polite thing to do.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
LazyHermitCrab said:
Oh no :( k just going to never go out to lunch with him to be safe. I feel like if my bf came it wouldn't correlate with "I'm always going to bring lunch now excuse" unless it becomes necessary. He did call me "man" once tho so hopefully he's just being friendly...
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I’m sure you’re right, I tend to err on the side of extremeness. ha ha
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
LazyHermitCrab said:
Oh no :( k just going to never go out to lunch with him to be safe. I feel like if my bf came it wouldn't correlate with "I'm always going to bring lunch now excuse" unless it becomes necessary. He did call me "man" once tho so hopefully he's just being friendly...
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This is really sad because if he is just being nice, he will wonder why you're not talking to him. You could be missing out on a friendship.

This would actually explain a lot, if girls mistake being nice for flirting. Although I guess you can't be too careful....
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
This is really sad because if he is just being nice, he will wonder why you're not talking to him. You could be missing out on a friendship.

This would actually explain a lot, if girls mistake being nice for flirting. Although I guess you can't be too careful....
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"Men are generally more inclined than women to almost always interpret a smile on a woman’s face as an indicator of sexual interest when it actually could’ve been something else (see fact #1 above). This is true even when the woman was simply offering a “social” smile (sometimes called a “fake” smile), which is commonly seen in the course of everyday interactions with one’s coworkers — or strangers on the elevator. In this particular type of smile, the corners of the mouth come up — and more often than not, the lips stay closed. "
8 reasons to smile if you
Sure, it's not really scientific, but I believe it.
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
Livemylife said:
"Men are generally more inclined than women to almost always interpret a smile on a woman’s face as an indicator of sexual interest when it actually could’ve been something else (see fact #1 above). This is true even when the woman was simply offering a “social” smile (sometimes called a “fake” smile), which is commonly seen in the course of everyday interactions with one’s coworkers — or strangers on the elevator. In this particular type of smile, the corners of the mouth come up — and more often than not, the lips stay closed. "
8 reasons to smile if you
Sure, it's not really scientific, but I believe it.
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I smile a lot :kickingmyself: just feel awkward a lot and don't like being asked "what's wrong" cuz I look serious if I don't smile. Oh well good to know thanks.
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
This is really sad because if he is just being nice, he will wonder why you're not talking to him. You could be missing out on a friendship.

This would actually explain a lot, if girls mistake being nice for flirting. Although I guess you can't be too careful....
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I'll still talk to him of coarse. Maybe once a month for lunch. Once a week is just too much... I have guy friends, but I don't feel comfortable with this guy because his type of personality is something I avoid. Not trying to be mean, but not everyone likes me personality either, so it's just something that happens.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Livemylife said:
"Men are generally more inclined than women to almost always interpret a smile on a woman’s face as an indicator of sexual interest when it actually could’ve been something else (see fact #1 above). This is true even when the woman was simply offering a “social” smile (sometimes called a “fake” smile), which is commonly seen in the course of everyday interactions with one’s coworkers — or strangers on the elevator. In this particular type of smile, the corners of the mouth come up — and more often than not, the lips stay closed. "
8 reasons to smile if you
Sure, it's not really scientific, but I believe it.
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Haha, well, I can't exactly refute this. :bigsmile: Men will take a mile if given an inch sometimes.

LazyHermitCrab said:
I'll still talk to him of coarse. Maybe once a month for lunch. Once a week is just too much... I have guy friends, but I don't feel comfortable with this guy because his type of personality is something I avoid. Not trying to be mean, but not everyone likes me personality either, so it's just something that happens.
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Oh, well, if his personality isn't compatible, then that makes more sense. :)
 
emptybench

emptybench

Well-known member
I think he is just being nice. As there is nobody else to have lunch with him, no problem that he asks you. The hold door thing is also common. But yeah, if your boyfriend wouldn't like it, it would be better to stop (maybe having lunch earlier if possible).
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Livemylife said:
"Men are generally more inclined than women to almost always interpret a smile on a woman’s face as an indicator of sexual interest when it actually could’ve been something else (see fact #1 above).

Sure, it's not really scientific, but I believe it.
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Actually, quite a bit of research supports that males are programmed by evolution to be optimistic when it comes to interpreting female sexual interest.

That said, on a number of occasions I've had women assume that I was sexually interested in them just because I talked to them when I didn't absolutely have to, or acted nice in some way. This is annoying, especially when someone I wasn't remotely attracted to or interested in acts like they're rejecting me.
 
A

alxbkr

Well-known member
You did keep talking abotu your boyfriend.
He's being nice. If he was flirting then you wouldve gotten a shit ton of compliments
 
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