Coming To Grips With Your Weaknesses

theoutsider

Well-known member
I guess this is sort of a random thought. I was feeling kind of down today on the way home as I was thinking of situations that have happened in the past that I haven't handled well. I don't know why I always do this, it only brings up bad feelings as if the situation just happened rather than years ago. Anyway, it really started bothering me that I was thinking about these things so I turned the radio off and just thought about some things in silence. That's when it really came to me: So what if I don't handle some situations well (mostly confrontational situations)?!? Doesn't everybody have some strengths and weaknesses? My weakness just happens to be the inability to handle certain unforeseen circumstances. I post this because I think we all beat ourselves up too much over this very same thing. We may have SA but that doesn't make us worthless or any less than anyone else. Many of us here are compassionate, creative, funny and just genuinely good people! I'm probably never going to get better at handling confrontational situations and I think I'm okay with that now. I also have a poor sense of direction and can't draw to save my life but, so what? I don't agonize over those things so why should I agonize over things affected by my SA? I'm done with beating myself up over what I can't do and what I haven't handled properly (at least for today...lol). I hope we all take a few moments a day to focus on positive things about ourselves and things we do well.

Okay, mini rant/rave/pep rally over!
 
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squidgee

Well-known member
I hope that everyone takes the time to focus on the positive as well, though it can be very difficult at times. Whenever I fill myself with positive self-talk, it tends to be short-lived and the next day I'm just as dull as before.
 

neardeath

Well-known member
I use the positive self-talk mixed with prayer to get me through real hard stuff. It can work in a pinch for those things you just have to do, things you can't get out of. I agree, though, Squidgee, that it fizzles out for me, too.

Thanks to theoutsider for the reminder. We all do have strong areas. We have to give ourselves a break once in a while.
 

Bo592

Well-known member
Today, I started reading the Bible again. I always find strong and up lifting messages in their.
 

IntheLabyrinth

Well-known member
That was a very good post, and I agree we should all come to terms with our weaknesses too. Unless you can change, you may as well except and not compare yourself to others. One tiny difference between the other weaknesses and not handling confrontation is that the other stuff is inconsequential, while handling confrontaion poorly is a punch to the gut of our self-esteem. Just cause it is more important, it still doesn't mean we should beat ourselves up about it. I can't do confrontation at all either, and I feel like such a loser when I have a panic attack during a relatively innocuos confrontation but accepting it and showing compassion are much better strategies. That was a little long winded, sorry.
 

Melon88

Member
You're absolutely right. On a separate note, the combination of things you mentioned is very interesting. I also have difficulty with confrontation, have a poor sense of direction and absolutely cannot draw! What are the odds of that?! :)
 

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
I wish it was as easy to use positive self talk, but now I realize that I've come to accept every fault(which is becoming a tough process but still managing to) I have: low self esteem, ugliness, depression, loneliness, emotions, ect. And I should stop feeling sad and complaining though that I can't change these things. I'd be even more unlucky to have confident, outgoing friends/boyfriends who are going to convince me otherwise to make matters worse. No matter what they're going to tell me, I'll still believe what I am even if that is unhealthy, I don't care. Kindness is my one strength that tops all my others, yet it is completely disregarded by others. Maybe if I could find people who thought like I did, I might not feel as terrible.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
Thanks for bringing this up. When I gave up going into health care, I realized I'm not going to be the nurturing, cheerful, outgoing personality that's required for taking care of patients. I also have difficulty smiling and have been told to smile more. When I volunteered at the hospital, I forced myself to smile and at it came out very awkward. I couldn't do it genuinely. I have accepted myself for who I am. I'm not going to force myself to go into nursing or radiology. The career change was a bit risky, because health care is considered "safe" and recession proof by many, but I'm willing to take this risk.

Kindness is my one strength that tops all my others, yet it is completely disregarded by others.

People also point me out for my weaknesses instead of noticing my good qualities, so this makes me focus more on my negativities.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Thanks for the replies, everyone! Honestly, I was a little concerned that the message would fall on deaf ears. I'm glad you know what I was getting at. Well, this is day two and I'm still feeling pretty good about simply acknowledging my weaknesses and just admitting that there are things I just will never be good at (not that I can't strive to improve). Sometimes when I have a revelation like that, it helps me to remind myself later that I've already acknowledged the issue if I start to feel bad about it all over again later. It helps most of the time and drives the evil thoughts away.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
You're absolutely right. On a separate note, the combination of things you mentioned is very interesting. I also have difficulty with confrontation, have a poor sense of direction and absolutely cannot draw! What are the odds of that?! :)

LOL! I'll bet there are more than a few of us on this forum.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Today, I started reading the Bible again. I always find strong and up lifting messages in their.

I agree. The Bible is always good for making me feel better. Sometimes, when I get down on myself because I didn't yell back at someone or reacted to a situation strongly enough, I remind myself that Jesus probably wouldn't have gotten into a shouting match either. Makes me feel like I'm in good company.
 
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