Old 01-18-2016
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Originally Posted by quizkiddonnie View Post
nothing people do is because of you. bullies are miserable people who are rebelling against their own misery. basically they're cowards
And cunts.
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Old 01-19-2016
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Originally Posted by arjuna View Post
........If I had been more intelligent I could have stopped it......
In your comment here you are implying that someone who has been bullied and "not stopped it" is not very intelligent, because if they were intelligent, than they would have been be able to have stopped it.



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A bit of maturity, please.
A bit of compassion, please.
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Old 01-19-2016
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Originally Posted by arjuna View Post
"To a certain extent?"

It could have been avoided but that is the way I see it and I really think people should make an effort towards coherence and clarity. I'm not talking about all the posts on the thread, obviously. One or two here seem ridiculous to me, I must say.
And I can understand the flaws in logic in some of those posts, but the thing here is that your commentary appears cocky and conceded, which takes away some of the credibility. You speak of yourself as if you were the most logical and the one whose replies make the most sense, and everyone should just follow your advice.
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Old 01-19-2016
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Originally Posted by Megaten View Post
Hell Im not even sure if the dude is even still alive tbh.
If he had died it would make me sad but not as sad as if he had killed a few people.
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Old 01-19-2016
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Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
In your comment here you are implying that someone who has been bullied and "not stopped it" is not very intelligent, because if they were intelligent, than they would have been be able to have stopped it. .
Wow! Yet another fine example of perfect reasoning!
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Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
And I can understand the flaws in logic in some of those posts, but the thing here is that your commentary appears cocky and conceded, which takes away some of the credibility. You speak of yourself as if you were the most logical and the one whose replies make the most sense, and everyone should just follow your advice.
You're right there, I didn't really mean to say that my posts made the most sense and I apologize for that.

Some of the posts here and ways of thinking can lead to disaster. And really, I don't mind if people don't use logic and common sense as long as a result of this they don't harm innocent people. If people are just making themselves ill because of it, fair enough; I'm not going to judge that. I try to correct people's thinking though, because I believe that if they are harming themselves, they could just as easily harm others and I don't want this to happen.

A message to the board:

Do not hurt innocent people. It may sound like a remedial thing to say but sometimes even grown-ups need to be reminded.
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Old 01-19-2016
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Originally Posted by arjuna View Post
If he had died it would make me sad but not as sad as if he had killed a few people.
Oh well of course.
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Old 01-20-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arjuna View Post
Wow! Yet another fine example of perfect reasoning!
Did you not see the word I used was "implying"......


im•ply
(ɪmˈplaɪ)

v.t. -plied, -ply•ing.
1. to indicate or suggest without being explicitly stated.


You did not state it, but the wording of your post "implied" it.
That is great you believe that you could have simply stopped the people who bullied you, if you were more "intelligent". But the whole tone of your posts still "implied" that any victim of bullying was to blame for not being able to stop themselves from being bullied.
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Old 01-20-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Did you not see the word I used was "implying"......


im•ply
(ɪmˈplaɪ)

v.t. -plied, -ply•ing.
1. to indicate or suggest without being explicitly stated.


You did not state it, but the wording of your post "implied" it.
That is great you believe that you could have simply stopped the people who bullied you, if you were more "intelligent". But the whole tone of your posts still "implied" that any victim of bullying was to blame for not being able to stop themselves from being bullied.
Did you notice that that was preceded by "Speaking from my personal experience?" You seem to think that because that happened in my life, I am extrapolating my experience to everyone's on the face of the planet.

Of course I could have stopped it. Can you think of an easy way? I can.
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Old 01-20-2016
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Originally Posted by arjuna View Post

A message to the board:

Do not hurt innocent people. It may sound like a remedial thing to say but sometimes even grown-ups need to be reminded.
I am confused. Besides the OP'er who has long gone from here, no one tried to justify hurting innocent people, if I did not miss anything that is.

And clearly the bulliers are the problem and they are to blame of what happened. If the bullied person did not try to do anything to stop it, then that person may have problems but he/she is not an idiot or anything, maybe has low confidence but that's it.
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Old 01-20-2016
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Originally Posted by TheNomad View Post
If the bullied person did not try to do anything to stop it, then that person may have problems but he/she is not an idiot or anything, maybe has low confidence but that's it.
Yeah more than likely thats the problem. Or they're not fighters. Not everyone is. Some people are natural diplomats, others scientist, some fighters. Pretty much everyone in my family got bullied at some point but stopped it cold with a few good punches to that persons head. Yeah new bullies could pop up, but thats because nobody warned them lol. I on the other hand would much rather use my words, which didnt work out well for me in middle school. Too late now. No much use fighting as an adult as thats a good way to end up in jail or dead. But now I have bottled up anger to work out with a dang therapist. Like I said before bullies are cowards. They're gonna look for the person that they know isnt going to hurt them, to bully them in return.

A funny side story, its like bullies have a natural food chain haha. I watched once as my bullies got bullied by a bigger bully at gym, and then that guy was scared of the biggest dude of all. Its like national geographic
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People making other people feel bad about themselves is why I think the human race is scurge and needs to die.

Competition breeds this kind of horrible behavior and sums up why I think competition is awful at its root.

Bullies are human feces.

Lol sorry but I despise people who put others down for their own pathetic egos.
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Old 01-21-2016
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Originally Posted by MollyBeGood View Post
People making other people feel bad about themselves is why I think the human race is scurge and needs to die.

Competition breeds this kind of horrible behavior and sums up why I think competition is awful at its root.

Bullies are human feces.

Lol sorry but I despise people who put others down for their own pathetic egos.
I couldn't agree more, MollyBeGood.
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Old 01-21-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNomad View Post
I am confused. Besides the OP'er who has long gone from here, no one tried to justify hurting innocent people, if I did not miss anything that is.
I think that one "serial killer" comment was enough to justify writing that. But you raised a point, the OP is not around anymore so I can't really see why we are all still responding to the thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNomad View Post
And clearly the bulliers are the problem and they are to blame of what happened. If the bullied person did not try to do anything to stop it, then that person may have problems but he/she is not an idiot or anything, maybe has low confidence but that's it.
Why say "the bullies are to blame?" I feel as if I am repeating myself here but maybe the bullies were having problems of their own and I feel compassion for them. Maybe if we forgave them and saw that we may have been able to do something to help them when this was happening, we could have improved our lives and theirs. We would probably see that we may have certain control over the situation and feel empowered and in control of our lives.

Last edited by arjuna; 01-21-2016 at 07:14 PM.
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Old 01-21-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arjuna View Post

Why say "the bullies are to blame?" I feel as if I am repeating myself here but maybe the bullies were having problems of their own and I feel compassion for them. Maybe if we forgave them and saw that we may have been able to do something to help them when this was happening, we could have improved our lives and theirs. We would probably see that we may have certain control over the situation and feel empowered and in control of our lives.
Of course they have problems of their own.I.e, Peer pressure may be causing them to show superiority over others, they may have problems at home and are looking to punish someone, maybe their parents are bulliers themselves, or they are basically cowards as above users put. It may even be genetic and they may lack compassion naturally. Anyway I myself think that behaviors are not that simple and said that. But being guilty is another matter, if someone caused another harm, he is guilty of that and the victim has every right to be angry. No matter how much problems the bulliers had. They are probably not monsters without souls, but in this situation, they are guilty.

These are difficult problems actually. Criminals, killers, they have their own instincts, upbringings and genetics. Where is the blame then, when does blame start? This is debated and a complex issue. I believe we must find the problems that lead them to act like that and lessen them so we can eliminate future criminals, but we have a right to defend ourselves meanwhile.

I do see your point, and I am sure if we could forgive them and be wiser it would lead to greater things. But it is very hard to forgive in a bullying situation, you have got to be really strong, and ignore your natural, initial responses of anger and hate. If you can do that, that is great.
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Old 01-21-2016
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This has been quite an interesting thread to read, and here's my input.

You may not believe this, but I was actually an extroverted kid in my childhood, who were a good example of "social butterfly".
However, this changed when I was bullied for the first time in 4th Grade by a group of people.
From there, I got bullied in 6th Grade, which was the most grave one, since I was humiliated in public after sitting on an already broken school chair and break it (quit laughing you insensitive troll S.O.B.), and, to a lesser degree, in the 8th Grade, all in the same frigging school. Talk about Hell on Earth.
However, the people who bullied me were not just "strange" people: they were also people who were supposed to be my "school mates" or simply..."friends".

But you may say: why didn't you report these people to the directors of the school and let them get what they deserved ?
It's simply because I'm usually a person who likes to avoid conflicts and fights, therefore, I'm afraid that people hold some sort of "grudge" against me and try to get some "sweet revenge" on me later on. Hence my supposed "inertia" at the time.

And I believe you already know the results by now: low self-esteem, self-pity, people pleasing attitude a.k.a. "Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome", S.A., self-judgements thoughts and the list goes on.

Speaking of revenge, every once in a while this disgusting thinking on taking justice on my own hands on those people a la "The Punisher" pops up in my head, on the veins of: "Why don't you make those a-holes pay and suffer what you suffer ?"
I reply that If I did so, I wouldn't be better than them, and that it's more than proofed that "revenge" won't bring your dead parents/friends/life/whatever back to you. What will happen instead is that you'll bring even more suffering to yourself.
Maybe I can forgive them someday, but as for forgetting...Now that's a whole different matter.

I finish this little confession with a quote from a certain "Spy Kids" movie :
"You have to live life moving forwards, not back."
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Last edited by Goblinko; 01-21-2016 at 11:23 PM. Reason: Added some more words.
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Old 02-18-2016
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I hate how everyone assumes that bullying is a normal part of growing up. It has destroyed my life and left me crippled with social phobia and depression for almost 15 years now. It took away any chance I had at having a decent future. I was robbed of a social life, the ability to make friends and form relationships, a good career, and happiness. I will never truly recover from the effects of bullying. The worst part is that all the people who tormented me throughout my life are leading successful and happy lives today.
Hi, i can very much relate to this. At Primary School, i was very quiet and shy, but had a few friends. At High School though, i never settled and because i was so quiet and shy, I quickly became a target for the bullies. This was verbal bullying, but the things that they would call me were extremely hurtful. I had to endure this five days a week for three years. It left me with no self-confidence , severe Social Anxiety and a profound fear of people. Before the bullying started, i'd been very shy and quiet but not socially anxious. My social anxiety is so severe i've not been able to work for years. So yes, i'd say that school bullying has pretty much wrecked my life, i don't know if i'll ever get over the damage done by it.

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Old 02-19-2016
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I grew up being bullied for my shy and small stature. And Catalyst you're right to a certain extent that there are emotions that can't be controlled. I don't think anyone who's been bullied would feel happy and elated at the very moment some bully landed a punch on their face. I was scared and pissed as hell. But I think here's the difference, I channeled my anger towards confidence. I told my teacher I got bullied and the teacher laughed it off. I told my principal I got bullied and she said I imagined it. I was seriously pissed that I forgot I was shy and anxious. I took matters into my own hands and I found myself so strangely calm that day when the bully came and I refused to step away. I stood there confidently grabbed by books as the bully forcefully pushed me aside. I instead put in all my weight and pushed back to which he stumbled down side way. He looked at me with bewildered eyes and ran away. The next day, he wasn't there anymore. I found out that he was kicked out of school and forced to transfer for his bully acts against all the kids (about time they take kids' words seriously).

The point of this story is, bully sucks and it can be the point that defines the rest of your life. Make it a positive point. It's never too late to see the brighter side of things. And you can start today.

If nobody believes in you then you've got to to believe in yourself. Use your emotions and turn them into something positive. It's like riding a huge emotional wave and shaping it into a platform for an awesome somersault with your surf board!

Cheers!
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Old 03-07-2016
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I was bullied between the ages of 4 and 16, mostly by my grandmother and my uncle and to a lesser degree classmates. I'm not sure how a 6 year old is supposed to defend oneself from her own grandmother or an uncle who outweighed her by 200 pounds. I did the best i could by telling my mother that i hated my grandmother and uncle but that did not help much. there were even time when they would bully me right in front of my parents.

The only part that brings me some comfort is that my grandmother is dead and my uncle soon will be.
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Old 03-08-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catalyst View Post
I hate how everyone assumes that bullying is a normal part of growing up. It has destroyed my life and left me crippled with social phobia and depression for almost 15 years now. It took away any chance I had at having a decent future. I was robbed of a social life, the ability to make friends and form relationships, a good career, and happiness. I will never truly recover from the effects of bullying. The worst part is that all the people who tormented me throughout my life are leading successful and happy lives today.
Hey yea I had a little bit of that but in junior high I always went back at them.
It stopped after awhile. High school, not really. Not everyone is like that though. You don't have to go talk to those bullies and I don't blame you but approach someone else to talk to and connect with.

Last edited by THeCARS1979; 03-08-2016 at 04:27 AM.
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