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Old 08-03-2017
Clareneko's Avatar
Newbie User

Hello, I'm new to the forum, but I would like to post my problem and ask for your opinion on it.
You see, last year I had some problems. Mainly at the beginning of the year, but it still faded into the end of the year. Then, later, I went to a day camp at the same location and several of my classmates were there, and the situation was even worse there. There was this one kid who constantly teased me, bossed me around, and mocked me in general. Unfortunately, when I reported him, he put on possibly the largest show I've ever seen, and due to his extreme popularity (He's A Popular Kid ) his "friends" (AKA Followers) backed him up, and he started telling everyone that everything he did to ME I did to HIM, and all of his brainwashed followers AND the adults believed him. This is not the first time a thing like this has happened. During the school year itself, I was targeted by the "popular" group at my school.
Now tomorrow, I have to go back to school, but it's 8th grade this time, and I assume it's going to be even more difficult. Because of this, over the summer, I tried to come up with solutions, and I came up with 4. I could either:

1. Just Leave Things Alone And Hope They Stop Bothering Me.
2. Become "Invisible". (Become Closed Off And Cold So No One Will Try To Bully Me)
3. Stand Up For Myself, Even If I Risk Getting Hurt.
4. Completely Abandon My True Personality And Become "One Of Them" So They Don't Pick On Me Anymore.

What do all of you think?
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Old 08-03-2017
vj288's Avatar
Elite User

Hi, welcome to the forum

If I remember right, back in 8th grade most of the kids memories are pretty short. They may not even remember or care anymore. And if they continue treating you like they did at camp, talk to a teacher who will handle it better than they did at that camp. It's teachers and counselors jobs to ensure bullying doesn't exist.

I don't know how big of a school you go to, but keeping out of the way of these kids wouldn't be a bad idea either. Why cross paths with people who aren't going to be nice to you? I wouldn't change who you are, or become cold or closed off - rather focus on other more important things. Good grades, extracurriculars, discovering what things you like and enjoying being a young adult. Mean kids are not worth your time, don't give it to them if you don't have to.
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Old 08-03-2017

You should try to ignore them or avoid them, to some extent. However, you should really tell someone about this. If the teachers won't believe you, then try telling someone above them, like the principal. Tell them about how he acts as if you're the one who's bullying him. You could even try to get a recording of the things he does as proof of what's happening.

Avoid them, tell someone, but don't kowtow to them. Stand up for yourself if they try to confront you. The first choice won't solve anything, the second is unlikely to work as well, and the fourth choice makes you no better than them and will cause you to hurt someone else and put them through the same pain you're feeling now.
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Old 08-03-2017
AtTheGates's Avatar
Elite User

first of all, seeing as you're a bit young I think someone should tell you :dont give any personal information out to strangers on the internet and dont send any pictures of yourself to anyone, dont accept friend requests, or anything like that . Be vigilant.

anyway to answer your question, becoming invisible and closed off is the worst idea because then if people decide to bully you again you won't have anyone to have your back. you NEED to make friends. its might be hard but its vital. having a good social circle is like having a firewall on your computer. it keeps all the junk/viruses out. if someone tries to bully you or make up a rumor about you, your friends will come to your defense and deal with the problem quick. strength in numbers, basically.

loners are more likely to get bullied. so join clubs, go to a youth group, just do what you have to do to find GOOD friends. and by that I mean kind-hearted people. I'm sure there are some teachers there who can look out for you too. The school deputy would likely be willing to help also.

also, if you have to be around these kids that bullied you again theres something you can do in order to prove what happened . They can lie all they want but if you've got the whole thing on video you can save the file to your computer and then send it straight to the principal and all your can even send it to local law enforcement...theres a REASON why police officers wear body cams. These bullies can make up stories all they want but it won't matter when you've got video evidence of exactly what happened.

there are a lot of different brands of spy cameras but something like this might do the trick. anyway good luck, kid.
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Old 08-04-2017
Mikazuki1590's Avatar
Newbie User

Middle school was a bad time for me as well because that's when my social anxiety was developing more. I was awkward and more popular/well liked outgoing kids would mess with me which struck a blow to my self confidence, so i can relate a bit.

I definitely wouldn't just take it. I'm a lot older now but i wished back then I had the guts to stand up for myself and be more assertive. As I moved into high school i started to take less of people's crap, and eventually stood up for myself and even a few times had to strike back physically. I'm not saying you should resort to violence but for me back then it was sometimes the only way to get through to a bully and make them stop. Most bullies will only bully until the target starts fighting back. Then a lot of them back off because no one wants to get hit, lol. Once again, NOT saying you should fight back physically, I'm just saying it's what I felt was necessary in certain instances for myself.

Assuming you have the the type of parents who are involved in your life, I would tell them these things and have them go to your school and force the staff to do something about this. You shouldn't have to take mental or physical abuse when you're just trying to go to school like everyone else. So many times I saw lax teachers who clearly saw instances of bullying but didn't do anything about it.

I'll also echo what someone else said about trying to join groups and finding more friends. Strength in numbers after all.
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