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Old 11-17-2010
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I was bullied all the way through high school and then I was bullied at college. Then I tried moving to another college where people didn't know me so I could have a new start but I got bullied there as well. Then I got bullied at work.
There was also a time when I was at college going an art course and some people who I went to school with were walking past when I was putting something in my car and when I went back in they followed me in a very agressive manner.
Also at school I was beaten up by boys and I feel as though I'm the only girl who was.
People think I should just get over it because nobody is bullying me now and they get angry with me for mentioning it. Also people think I can cope with it because I come accross as a happy person and havn't tried to kill myself or self harm myself and the fact I don't just sit there crying.
I hate how my family get fed up of hearing about it and get very angry when I mention it and the fact I'm upset about the way I look.
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Old 11-17-2010
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Im so sorry to hear about that. You had a very hard time and I know what you're going through. I was bullied when I was younger and had rumours spread about me and know most people in my town dont like me all because of this rumour.
But I must say you should be extremely proud of yourself for being so strong. I get moments of suicidal tendancies and to go through what you went through and stil be so strong is a credit to you.
My family were useless support and Im sorry that you have the same problem.
All I can say is that find support elsewhere. At least you have this medium to vent your anger!!
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Old 11-17-2010
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Hey s4life!

Glad to hear your life is relatively better now..

Sorry to hear about being bullied.. When I was younger sometimes girls and boys 'fought' at (primary) school.. Sometimes guys only went after certain girls.. (Some of those girls beat the crap out of them too..) Sometimes teachers chose to misunderstand it or pretend it didn't happen..

I recommend you to watch the Japanese drama Hana Yori Dango. It's different..

Have you done any martial arts? I really recommend you to go and start learning something.. It will make you feel better, knowing the basic principles of self-defense.. Even if you're tiny, some techniques were actually made for such people!

Sorry to hear the family is not sympathetic... It's difficult for people who haven't experienced it to understand. Many parents also do not experience it well if children are distressed.. (especially if they are sensitive themselves?) Or they may not know what to do with your emotions..

Maybe you can find a support group for people who experienced violence? See if anything exists locally..

Also, have you tried EFT or TAT yet? Free pdf manuals on emofree.com and tatlife.com - can help deal with past trauma..

Anyway, hope you manage to find ways to come to terms with this - it is a part of your past and maybe it has helped make you a better person because of it!! (You are probably much nicer and more understanding and would never bully or hit other people yourself!!)

Being upset with how you look - do you have any actual scars or just how you percieve yourself? If it's just perception, you might wanna check out BDD - there are some threads on this forum too... One's perception of oneself can get distorted due to a number of things, so maybe your family and others see you as a quite okay-looking person!!

In some cultures even scars are a sign of honour and endurance and being brave and such.. I do think you are brave for making a new start and enduring all that, and living your life, despite it all!! There may be some PTSD still lurking, and you may need to deal with it, to improve your quality of life...

Last edited by Feathers; 11-17-2010 at 03:23 PM.
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Old 11-17-2010
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Awww I'm sorry you had to go thru that :'(
No one deserves to be treated that way.
I'm also sorry that your family isn't more understanding about the situation.
Have you tried talking to just one family member who you're comfortable with, if there is one and just explaining your true feelings on the topic.
Maybe they'll understand more and tell the other family members how you're feeling.
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Old 11-20-2010
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My mum is the best person to talk to but she wishes I would get over it because I left school along time ago and it's not happening to me now.
Even though I'm 24 I was in a pub with the aspergers support group I go to and I felt very scared when I saw a guy who used to bully me at school. My mum just thought I was been stupid because most people of my age don't bully anymore and that made me feel very upset and I have to be so careful what I say because my mum just says to the rest of the family she's going on at me and they all get on to me and make me feel like ****.
I also hate how it's true what they told me at school and college about how I'm never going to get a boyfriend because I'm too ugly because I still don't have one.
I also still don't have any friends. I have one friend from work but I don't get to see her much because she has alot on with her family. I also didn't see her for a very long time because there was this guy she was living with and he hated me and wouldn't even let her talk to me at work.
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Old 11-20-2010
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I am sorry to hear you have been picked on in the past. Nobody deserves to be singled out and bullied. It can be very frustrating when family members don't get what you've been through; and sometimes you are better off not bringing up these topics with them because it will actually make you feel worse.

I know it might seem easier said than done, but life is always about NOW and not the past. If you keep thinking about the past and people from the past, then you are keeping all this alive and real in your mind. If you can somehow begin to accept that whats done is done, and that yeah it wasn't a barrel of laughs, and start believing that you are actually never a victim, then you can start enjoying yourself in the here and now. Please don't be offended by this, but I think your username scarred4life is not conducive towards moving forward in a positive and peaceful manner.

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Old 11-20-2010
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This is horrible, your family should have more patience and understanding, it doesn't matter if they get "fed up" of hearing about it. One thing I have learned about the human race is that most people are insecure, scared little people that are not happy with themselves so they have to take out their frustration out on people they see as "Targets". You may not be happy with yourself but those people that try and bully others are the most horrible sad people in the world. You are above ANYONE that tries to bully you. You are not insecure as so far as to bully another human being. You should be damn proud of that.

People that bully are sad little people with no prospects in life. So they take their frustration out on someone else that is better than them.
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Old 11-20-2010
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scarred4life,

Howdy! I can semi relate, as to when I was younger, I was the awkward kid that was huddled up in his jacket on the bus, and was always bullied at school, until I got into this new job, where I had to grow a back bone.

During this time while in elementary school, and such was me due to being a weak and sickly kid, until after my surgery I became stronger, but emotionally I was damaged, plus, my mom was Bi Polar, and moved around a lot. This didn't help my stability until my later years. During this time, I was beat up, I mean, beat up literally, and emotionally dragged by mom, teachers, and kids.

I don't know what happened to get me out of it, I mean, I'm still ragged, and teased on at work, but not as bad I use to be when I was in school. Maybe for I grew a back bone, but all I can say is this: Don't let it rule your life. It's not worth it, deal with it. It maybe hard at times, but you've gotta keep looking forward, face forward.
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Old 11-20-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarred4life View Post
aspergers support group
I'm a fellow Aspie and we do tend to be a magnet for NT bullies everywhere.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarred4life View Post
My mum just thought I was been stupid because most people of my age don't bully anymore
*******s. The majority of people of all ages in all walks of life bully.
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Old 11-21-2010
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Also for some reason at the moment I can't access my friend requests
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Old 11-21-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarred4life View Post
I was bullied all the way through high school and then I was bullied at college. Then I tried moving to another college where people didn't know me so I could have a new start but I got bullied there as well. Then I got bullied at work.
There was also a time when I was at college going an art course and some people who I went to school with were walking past when I was putting something in my car and when I went back in they followed me in a very agressive manner.
Also at school I was beaten up by boys and I feel as though I'm the only girl who was.
People think I should just get over it because nobody is bullying me now and they get angry with me for mentioning it. Also people think I can cope with it because I come accross as a happy person and havn't tried to kill myself or self harm myself and the fact I don't just sit there crying.
I hate how my family get fed up of hearing about it and get very angry when I mention it and the fact I'm upset about the way I look.
Man I wish you lived near me!!!! So I could help you with this. Keep your chin up.
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Old 12-08-2010
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nobody understands how I'm scarred by it. And I hate how loads of people think I can take it just because I come accross as a happy bubbly person and don't sit there self harming myself.
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Old 12-08-2010
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how does one get bullied at college?

I'd assume that the majority of people are mature there....

that's terrible.
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Old 12-08-2010
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Bullies can be around anywhere and it gets harder to deal with them later in your life as you can't simply tell your parents or a teacher when you're a full grown adult. I was never bullied directly in school but I knew this really outgoing kid that was getting bullied, surprisingly. They even invented a nickname for him and everyone I knew of besides teachers would call him by this nickname. I can't even understand why someone would bully that kid, but perhaps it's because he didn't seem 'normal' enough and people thought that they could take advantage of him. I can't give you any decent advice but I think the only way to deal with the bullies is to confront them, try to blend in, or find some other people for support.

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Old 12-08-2010
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I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I've never been bullied to the point of getting beat up, but I've still been bullied ever since I was little. I even moved when I was 8 and still got bullied. I've actually been having problems this year with a teacher bullying me (And I'm a senior). I know this is easier said than done, but please keep your head held high You've been strong all this time. I'm sorry about your family not supporting you, I hope you can find better support elsewhere. And don't forget you have us here at SPW too.
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Old 12-08-2010
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I feel so bad for you Scarred4Life. Nobody deserves that. Well done for staying so strong.
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Old 12-08-2010
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I'd imagine all of us were bullied at at least some time in our lives. Bullies are everywhere and impossible to avoid. It does help to go to places that are more sophisticated, like work a better paying job. I've noticed most bullies aren't successful and tend to be at jobs that have lower pay. You never know who the bully is going to be. There was a job i had where the boss was really nice to me on my first day, then a month later i found myself being called "too stupid and retarded to do my work right." That statement was followed by, "You're not gonna call me that. That's it, i'm done." I was out the door after that. I refuse to work for a bully.
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Old 12-09-2010
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I am so sorry that you have been treated that way and are told that you should just get over it.

Its def not cool that your family doesn't show empathy and ignore you when you discuss this issue. My parents sometimes ignore me when I am feeling crappy and don't take it seriously.

As far as the bullying thing, I have been bullied for most of my life since elementary school. I was lucky in university that I was not bullied but do not have any friends either. After I graduated I was promoted at my job, however, I was bullied by my immediate boss since she wanted to have her dept and my dept. She would talk negatively about me behind my back and if I had a question or concern she would just yell at me. After I got home all i wanted to do was go to bed and this has lasted for a year.

If you want to talk hit me up>
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Old 12-09-2010
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Im high school I was called alful names, hit, spat on, had people going on about how ugly I was all the time, had things thrown at me, had stuff pinched off me, even had a teacher critersizing my appearence and even have someone sneak up behind me and hit me round the head with a shoe.
In the first college I went too after leaving school the people who gave me **** went to the same college and all other people joined in and went on about how ugly I was and how they wanted me dead.
In the next college I went to to get away from those people I was bullied again for my appearence and for the fact that I have learning difficulties and to make matters worse a teacher told the class I had aurtism and told them not to tell me who said it so I got taunted with that. Then my work placement went wrong and had to get a supported placement like I was a total retard which the class all found out again.
When I was in this job for a while working in a kids playarea in a pub my boss took a dislike to me and started bullying me and accusing me of everything that went round and there was even some kids who came in and would wreak the place while I was in there and be good for anyone else and I got blamed for letting them do that. There was also loads of **** that happend there and I got driven out in the end
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Old 12-09-2010
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I'm sorry you've been through that, I have been bullied for about 3 years everyday so I can relate to some extent. I still think it is strange how you've been consistently bullied no matter where you are and how many times you've change schools. How do you look in front of everyone? How do you carry your body? Dress code? And how do you talk to people? Try and blend in. But I think for now, this is a time for healing, get out there and do things you want and regain back some confidence. Try and make some friends, it might take you a few years but if you're going to let the bullies affect your future life, then you'll never get over it.
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