Hello folks,
I'm not entirely sure what to write as a greeting so I think the best thing to is to tell my story. I've never been diagnosed with SA or any related mental illness but I am pretty certain I do suffer from such conditions.
My life was pretty much normal but I was rather shy as a child. I came out of my shell a lot around age 10-12 and became what I'd consider to be a regular kid.. (if there is such a thing) Then around the age of 15 I developed a condition called vitiligo in which you begin to lose your skin pigmentation. This caused me a lot of problems and I suffered terribly during my final years at school. I just couldn't get on and just wanted to hide because I was ashamed at how I looked. I barely finished school and then fell into a agoraphobic phase in which I never wanted to leave the house. OK, I could leave the house but only if I was safely away from town. I hated it there and felt horrified whenever I thought I saw someone I knew. My mother tried to be supportive but I don't think she fully understood what I was going through. I felt like all my dreams and life had been taken away from me. It's funny, the vitiligo isn't that bad and now I use cover up it is barely noticeable at all. Yet in spite of all that, I still felt terrible about myself. With or without cover up I just could not function in England and could not make friends.
I decided to be brave and after hearing that the climate of certain countries can help vitiligo suffers, I decided to move to Portugal. I had my plans, my dreams and everything I wanted to do mapped out. I was even making friends and feeling happy but then things started to go wrong for me. Plans didn't work and I reverted back to my old self. I didn't like going out as much and I figured I'd try and make some friends online. They couldn't see me so my looks wouldn't matter much.. I developed a friendship with one person who I thought truly understood me and accepted me for who I was without the vitiligo. Then that person turns around and says that they no longer want to know... I guess some people can pick and choose their friends but I can't.
Therefore I've been pushed back to my old status where I no longer feel anything. I'm left resenting the World and myself. I know this is not a vitiligo forum but I think my mental “issues” I've developed because of it fits what a lot of you have written about.
I really don't know what else to say other than I look forward to contributing to this forum.
This post got a little long but thanks for reading and this looks like an awesome community to be a part of.
I'm not entirely sure what to write as a greeting so I think the best thing to is to tell my story. I've never been diagnosed with SA or any related mental illness but I am pretty certain I do suffer from such conditions.
My life was pretty much normal but I was rather shy as a child. I came out of my shell a lot around age 10-12 and became what I'd consider to be a regular kid.. (if there is such a thing) Then around the age of 15 I developed a condition called vitiligo in which you begin to lose your skin pigmentation. This caused me a lot of problems and I suffered terribly during my final years at school. I just couldn't get on and just wanted to hide because I was ashamed at how I looked. I barely finished school and then fell into a agoraphobic phase in which I never wanted to leave the house. OK, I could leave the house but only if I was safely away from town. I hated it there and felt horrified whenever I thought I saw someone I knew. My mother tried to be supportive but I don't think she fully understood what I was going through. I felt like all my dreams and life had been taken away from me. It's funny, the vitiligo isn't that bad and now I use cover up it is barely noticeable at all. Yet in spite of all that, I still felt terrible about myself. With or without cover up I just could not function in England and could not make friends.
I decided to be brave and after hearing that the climate of certain countries can help vitiligo suffers, I decided to move to Portugal. I had my plans, my dreams and everything I wanted to do mapped out. I was even making friends and feeling happy but then things started to go wrong for me. Plans didn't work and I reverted back to my old self. I didn't like going out as much and I figured I'd try and make some friends online. They couldn't see me so my looks wouldn't matter much.. I developed a friendship with one person who I thought truly understood me and accepted me for who I was without the vitiligo. Then that person turns around and says that they no longer want to know... I guess some people can pick and choose their friends but I can't.
Therefore I've been pushed back to my old status where I no longer feel anything. I'm left resenting the World and myself. I know this is not a vitiligo forum but I think my mental “issues” I've developed because of it fits what a lot of you have written about.
I really don't know what else to say other than I look forward to contributing to this forum.
This post got a little long but thanks for reading and this looks like an awesome community to be a part of.
