Being too quiet..

KVCC

KVCC

Well-known member
I went over to a friends house (4 girls) 8)


But i only said maybe a few words there the entire time...
I felt anxious before I got there and i was just really uncomfortable..


i feel so stupid :(
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
What you will find alot of the time is that 1 or 2 of those people will be happy to chatter all the time without feeling self conscious, so the only advice is to try and learn from their style, facial expressions, listen closely to what they say and try to stay cool and calm even if you are more quiet than you want to be, you'll thank me on your wedding night
 
KVCC

KVCC

Well-known member
The whole time I had thoughts about saying something, or doing a gesture or poking someone or something(they were hot lol) but I didn't do anything incase they would think im lame or stupid or something..
 
dpr

dpr

Well-known member
well you had the thoughts. so next time... do/say everything you thought about doing/saying

i know, easier said than done right? but it's worth shot
 
CK23

CK23

Well-known member
You should take baby steps... like say hi, how are you... how has the day been so far.... that'll open things up... i'm in the same messy situation so i can totally relate...
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
I know how hard it is. I am so anxious my mind won't allow me to think of anything to say.
 
frenchie

frenchie

Member
When I started dating my husband, he nearly broke up with me because I was too quiet. I liked him so much that I was afraid to speak and it nearly cost me the best person I've ever known.

Also, when I'm super upset, I can't make words leave my lips. I quite literally freeze and stutter horribly if I try to say anything.
 
hobo10

hobo10

Member
frenchie said:
When I started dating my husband, he nearly broke up with me because I was too quiet. I liked him so much that I was afraid to speak and it nearly cost me the best person I've ever known.

Also, when I'm super upset, I can't make words leave my lips. I quite literally freeze and stutter horribly if I try to say anything.
Click to expand...

Well you must have got over it somehow b/c you two ended up getting married!

Your situation is one of my worst fears. I'll never get married b/c I'll never be able to hold long conversations with a potential man.
 
frenchie

frenchie

Member
Oh, he told me straight... he said he liked me but he was having trouble getting to know me because I wouldn't talk. He encouraged me and I learned to trust him.

I started dealing with my SA pretty early, getting into performance based things in school to really confront my fears. I still have situations where I won't talk but most of the time, if I'm feeling anxiety, I force myself to get through it if it's important.

Because that's the key... acting as if. If it's not important enough to you, it's hard to do. I'm also Buddhist so I've done a lot of meditating and I created a safe place that I go to sometimes when I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. It helps.
 
steviegerrard489

steviegerrard489

Well-known member
KVCC said:
I went over to a friends house (4 girls) 8)


But i only said maybe a few words there the entire time...
I felt anxious before I got there and i was just really uncomfortable..


i feel so stupid :(
Click to expand...

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt! Unfortunately it can be a self fulfiling prophecy, ie not talking means people won't make an effort to talk to you.

Only this evening I went for a drink after work. It was noisy and I couldn't hear the others properly which meant I had trouble joining in.
 
billy

billy

Well-known member
I went out one night with my friend and his friends(3girls). I literally said nothing but one grunt at a time. At the end of the night the girls asked if i hated them.....
 
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