Being like a weak soccer team may be the key

Hi,

I'm a very social phobic person . And I've also had this kind of pattern of thinking below all my life:

"My God, I was a total loser at work today, that's unnaceptable, I can't never experience this feeling ever again. Oh my God, I'm going to work again only when I'm cured." And I used to avoid the experience for years after that.

2 months ago I started to play a game at the computer that you are a soccer coach and you start from below, like the 4º division. My team stayed at the fourth division for "years" at the game, and then I went to the third division and after that, again, I went to the fourth division. Weeks playing and then I went to the second division, I was really happy, because this game was somehow for me very similar to my ups and downs at life.

While playing, suddenly, ocurred a thought to me saying that I didn't have to be perfect at social interactions, that it was ok to lose and stay at the fourth division if I keep going to the matches. I applied this to my life and I started to work again few weesk ago and now, when I do everything wrong and come home depressed, I think like a soccer coach, not like a suicide person.
I think that I'm just a weak team that wants to go to first division, and I will do like weak teams do, they play and fight every single year.

No more avoidance after that.
I even drive my car to a very crowded shopping at my city and I went very badly, I admit. It was a 5x0 loss. But I can play again next week, can't I?

Hope this insight help someone, because something has really changed in me.


Cheers.

"My God, I was a total loser at work today, that's unnaceptable, I can't never experience this feeling ever again. Oh my God, I'm going to work again only when I'm cured."

Click to expand...

yeah, i often feel the same way. i've started a new job recently, and i'm horrible at it, but i try to remind myself that i probably don't have as much job experience as others and that the only way im going to get better is to pay attention, and do the best job i can. but yeah, if i sit at home and beat myself up about my personality, im not gonna get anywhere.

congrats on braving the crowds!

OMFG! O_O

Sorry, it's just that I use the same soccer philosphies in my life too. And for me it's after watching the 2002 world cup that inspired me, especially teams like South Korea who were considered the underdog and miraculous made it to the semi-finals of the world cup beating the likes of Portugal, Poland, Italy and Spain along the way.

My formation in life is a 4-4-2. My strategy's include playing defensive and hitting hard on the counter. I also attack when the opportunity arises. In the past I had problems scoring goals (wrapping things up), now I just get to the point and finish better no matter how ugly it gets.

Ofcourse my formation/strategies are always changing as the situation changes. So in a way I'm versatile.

It's also humuliating for me to lose, I've been down 8-0 and similar score lines. At that time I feel the worst, and am shock in disbelief. But I pick myself up cause I know whining won't do any good. I analyses where I went wrong and develop a strategy for the next match and maybe try something different.

Klaus said:

I was really happy, because this game was somehow for me very similar to my ups and downs at life.

Click to expand...

Yeah I think soccer is like life cause they have there ups and downs too.

Klaus said:

While playing, suddenly, ocurred a thought to me saying that I didn't have to be perfect at social interactions, that it was ok to lose and stay at the fourth division if I keep going to the matches.

Click to expand...

Good on yah! Like that positive thinking and low expectations, and like how you're being realisitic too cause you can't immediately expect to rise to the 1st division it takes time

Klaus said:

I applied this to my life and I started to work again few weesk ago and now, when I do everything wrong and come home depressed, I think like a soccer coach, not like a suicide person.

Click to expand...

Good on ya again I tend to do the same, analyse my situations and see where I went wrong, prepare a strategy to counter it next time and try different things out for the next match. Also I ask my assistant/s (lol, like counsellor, friends, etc) for advice too.

Klaus said:

I think that I'm just a weak team that wants to go to first division, and I will do like weak teams do, they play and fight every single year.

Click to expand...

You go keep fighting to get promoted. One day you might be competing in the champions league (having a lover )

Klaus said:

No more avoidance after that.
I even drive my car to a very crowded shopping at my city and I went very badly, I admit. It was a 5x0 loss. But I can play again next week, can't I?

Click to expand...

No worries it was a tough match, you weren't the favourates to win that fixture, you were up against a tough team. You did great by facing them head on. Good on ya for that.

That's right there's always next week.

Klaus said:

Hope this insight help someone, because something has really changed in me.

Click to expand...

Thanks it help me, like inspired me again in a way cause I kinda lost the passion for soccer recently. So I thank you for that

I am more like an average middle table obscurity team, could be worse, but also could be better. Once something good happens for me,I become excited (Champions league moments), but the situation soon returns into "normal".

In life when you are down, the most important thing is not to get into losing streak. I prefer losing one match 5 to 0, than losing 5 matches 1 to 0.

Always glad to read something like that. Keep going, Klaus!