Being ignored by so call close friends

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Seriously I need new friends, I keep getting the feeling that for my friends talking to me is no longer a priority. I'm talking about friends that i knew for real. Now I can understand that you can't always feel like talking to someone but when it's been weeks and sometimes months that you haven't talk to someone who at least try to reach u once a week or when someone is online on msn and then you start talking to them and they don't answer for a long period of time without telling you that they went shopping. There is many other examples

Seriously maybe i should just delete those who do that to me. That's sucks cause they are great friend that had a lot of fun with. But it's really disrespectful and i told them about it and all they do is apologizes and do it again after. I deleted one a few months ago and at least i was expecting her to text me or something asking where i been all that time but i guess she really didn't care that much. Maybe i should forget about the past and move on?

I'm only talking about 3 of my friends, don't go assume i have many friends

Lorraine Manca · Apr 25, 2010

i'm sorry! that sucks. i've been forgotten too. by people i admired alot and had alot of affection for. its no fun. it doesnt make sense either. everybody is so busy though, thats a big part of it, and we're all very sensitive people so its hard to accept. im sorry

mads · Apr 25, 2010

There can be a lot of reasons that they dont answer. Maybe they are busy, maybe they just dont feel like talking at the moment, maybe they forgot that you had written etc.

But of course if they dont answer because they dont want to tak to you, then they are not friends and should not be treated as such.

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Lorraine Manca said:
i'm sorry! that sucks. i've been forgotten too. by people i admired alot and had alot of affection for. its no fun. it doesnt make sense either. everybody is so busy though, thats a big part of it, and we're all very sensitive people so its hard to accept. im sorry

no need to apologize it's not your fault, unless your one of my friends undercover :

:

Dronee · Apr 25, 2010

Sometimes it's genuinely due to being busy.

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

token_asian_friend said:
lol. I know how you feel. I don't mean to sound all down on people because I know that can get pretty annoying on here, but my experience is that everyone (including me) is ultimately selfish and only looks after their own best interest. The only relationship that's not like that is parents/kids, but with everyone else, as soon as something better comes along, they won't think twice about your feelings.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you depend on other people, you're bound to get let down, so either you become a hermit (lol) or just learn to live with it.

yea I know what you mean, but I'm not like that, I really do things that does nothing for me just to help others out. Anyways maybe i should become more selfish

Krista · Apr 25, 2010

I've had those friends and they're not worth it. On the other hand when they're the only really close friends you've got and they're treating you that way, it makes it hard to say I'll just dump them because they're not good people. It's like you have a toss up of whether you want people to hang out with who treat you like crap or save your feelings and get rid of them but be alone with no one to hang out with.

I left them and made new ones.

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Dronee said:
Sometimes it's genuinely due to being busy.

for one of them, I know she is really busy so I'm not saying anything about her. But the others I contact them on their free time. I'm a huge gamer so is my friend but I pretty always stop playing when someone need to talk to me, if I really feel like playing i'll just sorry but i really need to play, i'll ttyl and contact the person when i'm done, Not just say: Busy, and nothing else. I'm all about respect and when you disrespect me for too long you gotta go

mads · Apr 25, 2010

da_illest101 said:
yea I know what you mean, but I'm not like that, I really do things that does nothing for me just to help others out. Anyways maybe i should become more selfish

I dont think you should become more selfish in the bad way. But maybe try to become less dependent on your friends. You have the right to say, that you dont feel like talking today and you dont need to answer their messages in the second they write.

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Krista said:
I've had those friends and they're not worth it. On the other hand when they're the only really close friends you've got and they're treating you that way, it makes it hard to say I'll just dump them because they're not good people. It's like you have a toss up of whether you want people to hang out with who treat you like crap or save your feelings and get rid of them but be alone with no one to hang out with.

I left them and made new ones.

I see maybe i should do what you did, but i rarely hang out with anyone, not that i don't want to but it seem like there is always something better to do ...

Krista · Apr 25, 2010

da_illest101 said:
I see maybe i should do what you did, but i rarely hang out with anyone, not that i don't want to but it seem like there is always something better to do ...

Well this is your decision but I rarely hang out with anyone either, I'm kinda shy so meeting new people wasn't the easiest but it's worth it to find people who respect you and your feelings. Or just treat them the same way for a bit, show them what it feels like.

Newtype · Apr 25, 2010

da_illest101 said:
Seriously I need new friends, I keep getting the feeling that for my friends talking to me is no longer a priority. I'm talking about friends that i knew for real. Now I can understand that you can't always feel like talking to someone but when it's been weeks and sometimes months that you haven't talk to someone who at least try to reach u once a week or when someone is online on msn and then you start talking to them and they don't answer for a long period of time without telling you that they went shopping. There is many other examples

Seriously maybe i should just delete those who do that to me. That's sucks cause they are great friend that had a lot of fun with. But it's really disrespectful and i told them about it and all they do is apologizes and do it again after. I deleted one a few months ago and at least i was expecting her to text me or something asking where i been all that time but i guess she really didn't care that much. Maybe i should forget about the past and move on?

I'm only talking about 3 of my friends, don't go assume i have many friends

I know how you feel. I wrote something about this in another thread I think. I had friends just like that and in the end I decided to just disappear from their life. I've never regretted that decision. It seems there are a lot of people in this world who forgot the true meaning of friendship and they just go around having "friends" just for the sake of having friends. They don't even care about them all that much. Things like MySpace and Facebook just made it worse. It's better to find real friends who will always have your back. One friend like that is better than ten friends who don't care about you.

future marine214 · Apr 25, 2010

da_illest101 said:
Seriously I need new friends, I keep getting the feeling that for my friends talking to me is no longer a priority. I'm talking about friends that i knew for real.

In my case my friends seemed to notice my SA and im guessing it was kinda depressing to see me in that state. So, they just averted from speaking with me. I say this because when im at my high, my friends love what i have to say and its all laughs.

redski · Apr 25, 2010

I have erased people like this from my life and do not even put any effort into keeping
in touch with people like this. Sure, I understand people are busy and I understand I like
having friends but these two do not go togheter. The only one that will lose here is you.
Unless you can change or they change. Neither have high probability.
So spare yourself the energy and just erase people like that from your life.
May be you will met again some day under different circumstances.

Dronee · Apr 25, 2010

The driving force behind most interactions seem to be utility. Pure utility. "What can you do for me? How much am I willing to give in return? How profitable is this relationship/friendship for me?"

I strongly believe that this is the mentality for the vast majority of people living in this world. There are many exceptions to the rule, but they are just that. Exceptions.

lollipop103 · Apr 25, 2010

I hate those people who back stab their friends like this, but honestly, I think I'd prefer having a few "friends" to hang out with as opposed to nobody at all. Given, of course, that I didn't miss out on an opportunity to make new friends and that I didn't have to share any of my personal thoughts and values with them...

ichiban · Apr 25, 2010

Actually I'm kinda guilty of not responding for a while when someone messages me, because I honestly don't know what to say sometimes. So maybe that's what's going on with them too? Although, this is really just with acquaintances that try to talk to me (and they usually give up, once they decide I'm not that interesting) I'll always talk to my close friends.

But, there have been several times when I thought I was pretty good friends with someone, but when we went to different cities or something, it was amazing how quickly we went from friends to almost strangers. Don't know what to say, except that if you have other people to hang out with, don't waste too much energy on a "friendship" that the other party clearly doesn't care too much about.

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

mads said:
I dont think you should become more selfish in the bad way. But maybe try to become less dependent on your friends. You have the right to say, that you dont feel like talking today and you dont need to answer their messages in the second they write.

It's not that i depend alot of them since i spend 90% of my time alone, but I still want to have fun with them you know

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Krista said:
Well this is your decision but I rarely hang out with anyone either, I'm kinda shy so meeting new people wasn't the easiest but it's worth it to find people who respect you and your feelings. Or just treat them the same way for a bit, show them what it feels like.

I rarely meet new ppl, i'm mostly in my room or basement lol. I'm gonna treat them the same and see how it goes

da_illest101 · Apr 25, 2010

Newtype said:
I know how you feel. I wrote something about this in another thread I think. I had friends just like that and in the end I decided to just disappear from their life. I've never regretted that decision. It seems there are a lot of people in this world who forgot the true meaning of friendship and they just go around having "friends" just for the sake of having friends. They don't even care about them all that much. Things like MySpace and Facebook just made it worse. It's better to find real friends who will always have your back. One friend like that is better than ten friends who don't care about you.

I completely agree, I never saw the goal of having too many friends. The thing i don't get is it's not like my friends had many friends either. I mean it's people that was always making sure I was ok, Never treated me wrong, insulted me or anything, that's why I have a hard time with this problem. PS Squall is awesome

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