very_shy
Well-known member
I feel strangled. I am approaching the gallows. The gallows of public speaking.
I work in one the public library units and 1 month ago I was forced (one employee is expecting a baby) to become the unit's "leader" or whatever you want to call it. Not the big issue, some more paperwork to do, not a big issue when organising events (usually done by e-mail), but a big issue if forced to do opening speeches at the beginning or other opportunities.
Now first of all, I've done a lot of presentations by now. School, university and so on. But two things have remained till now: facial blushing and voice trembling. A couple of years ago my boss (who luckily does not attend all library events) asked me to to a couple of such opening speeches. I managed only 2-3. But in the next ones I organised, I was honest - I asked the guests to begin without my speech and I told them the truth that I fear public speaking. They accepted. Boss did not know that.
A couple of years later, I am literally forced to to them again, but the problem is that the boss is now working in the same unit as I. It is the unit of my home town where I know almost everyone and I bet some people who I don't know know me. The thing is - if the boss is present, he will do the speaking but if he is not (and this is frequently) than all falls to me. It does not matter if its only 1 minute. 5 minutes, the symptoms of my fear are in every psychological workbook.
For the forthcoming event I have a feeling he will not be present, but even if he will, there will always be the next event. I told him that I don't know if I will do it. I may say that "all will be ok" and then ask the guests if its possible to start without it. But I fear what will happen it the boss finds this out. I know that it probably would be unprofessional from me to refuse public speaking, but first of all I am angry. Why me? Why does today EVERYONE has to to public speaking even if this is not in his/her true nature? Why does everyone has to sell himself (Susan Cain's book "Quiet" is fantastic, by the way)?
So has anyone been in similar position? Can you lose the job if you refuse public speaking? Can you be in newspaper because of this? In every other things I am very good and I am being frequently praised. Heck-I can write speeches, I am very good at writing, but please don't force me speak!
When I mentioned this to my parents, they said don't make a shame of yourself. I don't have anyone who understands my concerns. Everyone thinks it is easy. Be happy that you have a job and similar remarks.
I work in one the public library units and 1 month ago I was forced (one employee is expecting a baby) to become the unit's "leader" or whatever you want to call it. Not the big issue, some more paperwork to do, not a big issue when organising events (usually done by e-mail), but a big issue if forced to do opening speeches at the beginning or other opportunities.
Now first of all, I've done a lot of presentations by now. School, university and so on. But two things have remained till now: facial blushing and voice trembling. A couple of years ago my boss (who luckily does not attend all library events) asked me to to a couple of such opening speeches. I managed only 2-3. But in the next ones I organised, I was honest - I asked the guests to begin without my speech and I told them the truth that I fear public speaking. They accepted. Boss did not know that.
A couple of years later, I am literally forced to to them again, but the problem is that the boss is now working in the same unit as I. It is the unit of my home town where I know almost everyone and I bet some people who I don't know know me. The thing is - if the boss is present, he will do the speaking but if he is not (and this is frequently) than all falls to me. It does not matter if its only 1 minute. 5 minutes, the symptoms of my fear are in every psychological workbook.
For the forthcoming event I have a feeling he will not be present, but even if he will, there will always be the next event. I told him that I don't know if I will do it. I may say that "all will be ok" and then ask the guests if its possible to start without it. But I fear what will happen it the boss finds this out. I know that it probably would be unprofessional from me to refuse public speaking, but first of all I am angry. Why me? Why does today EVERYONE has to to public speaking even if this is not in his/her true nature? Why does everyone has to sell himself (Susan Cain's book "Quiet" is fantastic, by the way)?
So has anyone been in similar position? Can you lose the job if you refuse public speaking? Can you be in newspaper because of this? In every other things I am very good and I am being frequently praised. Heck-I can write speeches, I am very good at writing, but please don't force me speak!
When I mentioned this to my parents, they said don't make a shame of yourself. I don't have anyone who understands my concerns. Everyone thinks it is easy. Be happy that you have a job and similar remarks.