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Old 09-09-2017
Bo592's Avatar
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Do you guys ever feel like you have an invisible sign on you. That you not aware about that telling everyone around you that you are stupid , lame or mentally disable. will that the way I feel I tried telling myself that it all in my head that I just need to smile more . I keep going on though this world trying to be more positive. But start to suspect that it not all in my head. when I walk in to a public place where I know no one in the building. I see it in their face they will be smiling and being friendly and then when they come to me I get an Ugly look. they don`t know me and they don`t know any of the other that got friendly looks. But why am I the only one that get the ugly look. It feel like I have a sign on that I am not aware about that telling everyone bad stuff about me.

I remember when I was a kid and went to school there was this girl and she would hug all of the other boys but me. She would hug every boy every day of school. I felt jealous of all of the other boys who got a worm and inviting hug every day at school but me. I remember trying to ware stuff that could help me smell nicer and trying to do nice things for her to try and get a hug out of her like all of the other boys got. I just keep feeling bad about my self and asking why me why am I not good enough for one of those hugs. I remember hearing boy complaining about her hugging them made me feel worser because I feel like a hug would have really help me out back then. I remember she got in trouble for hugging boy who had girlfriend. I remember one of the girls even said I was the only one in the whole school who she never hugged. when I grew up I felt myself becoming a bitter and mean man so it was no question then why women did not like me. This was one of the stories that I would tell therapist of the reason why I think I have Social anxiety.

So does anybody else feel like this like you are wearing a invisible sign that tell everyone around you bad stuff about you. That it would not matter how hard you tried to be more cheerful they will just keep on doing those ugly look tough you and you will just keep on being alone. I wish I knew how to where a sign that tells people good stuff about me.
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AtTheGates (09-09-2017)
Old 09-09-2017
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I know how you feel . Some people are just REALLY shallow...its interesting though when you start making more money and then random people start coming out of the woodwork who used to ignore you.....alot of those kinds of people arent about sh!t though....just shallow materialistic sheep.

some girls will go for a guy who has good facial aesthetics even though he's a shallow misogynistic douche bag. but they just fawn over him...its ridiculous ..there were guys at the prison I worked at who would have different girls comes to see them for visitation every weekend....and I mean these guys had NO code of honor, they were lowlifes morally and ethically..but they had had gang connections which equals MONEY so girls would flock to them.......but like I was saying , some people arent about jack sh!t...they'd even sell their soul just to get what they really want...the thing is: good looks,money, sex, drink, drugs, cars, doesnt mean anything. Its all frivolous . it basically turns to dust at the end of the doesnt last ...some people think it will truly fulfill them but it won't.

so anyway, dont sweat it when shallow people treat you like you're invisible....its more like dodging a bullet, figuratively speaking.
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Old 09-10-2017
Bo592's Avatar
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I see what you are saying and it does make more sence now. But it feel bad that their no real fix in this world to solving this problem. Aloneness still feel bad and the emptiness still feel bad. The part about this I don`t like about this is the thought of me dying and never had learn how to over come this. Getting better around people and find away to communicate around people was more of like a goal I set out for myself.

I fear if I tell myself not to care and get happy the happiness will only last so long in tell it dies then I will have to figure out why I need to talk to someone. I am confused if you desire a person then you will fear their rejection then if you don`t desire a person then you will lose your motivated to meet them and give them a chance.
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Old 09-20-2017
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When I go out in public I sometimes feel like I have a facial deformity or something. I don't, but I feel like everybody's staring at me as if I do. I feel very self-conscious although I'm sure it just in my head.
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Old 09-20-2017

I would love to be invisible! I am happiest when no one sees me or notices me. The only reason people want to be noticed is so they can be famous or wealthy. I don't want either.
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Old 09-27-2017
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This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I don't know what it is. If I'm just too soft spoken or what. Even little things like asking for extra napkins at a restaurant. I can practically predict that I'm not going to get what I asked for as the waitress forgets immediately after my request. In groups, I think I'm more looked at as the person it's most acceptable to overlook as others needs are seen to or are given the attention. It's one of the reasons I stay to myself. Why accept invites only to wind up sitting in solitude wondering why I agreed to go out?
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Old 09-27-2017
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It is possible that this "sign" that you are talking about actually exist. We Odd people sometimes give up an odd vibe. People who are well adjusted to society are uncomfortable with this vibe, they don't know how to deal with it more than we know how to deal with them, and sometimes it even scares them the same way they sometimes scare us. We may even look retarded to them. If we act, look or talk in a way that is not conform to the norm that they know, they will be unsettled and they won't like it. Some won't even want to be seen near us, in fear that their people would associate them to us and reject them as they reject us.

This fact doesn't mean in any way that you are a lesser person than they are.

The problem is, we won't change the mass. However, I don't know what your situation is, but if you want to blend in (in appearance at least) to be able to survive in this system and use it for your own benefits, I sincerely think you can make it given time and effort. I think people will judge you, on a superficial level, mostly on these things: The way you look (clothes, haircut and general hygiene), the way you talk, and your body language. My point is not to try and become another person, but to try and make your appearance, speech and body language closer to what makes other people comfortable so you can infiltrate their habitat.
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Old 10-02-2017
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Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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All your base are belong to us.

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