are you an asshole or bitch?

dottie

dottie

Well-known member
i am getting older now and i feel like i am becoming a bitch. i always thought of myself as a nice person. so much that i was a doormat. i have always tried to be nice. still i find myself being overly polite when i'm in public- especially at work where i am forced to kiss ass and play the doormat role. but on my own time i'm at the point where i don't go out of my way to smile at people or ask them what they're doing or what they're about. it's like if i act that way it is so phony and awkward. i would rather seem like an antisocial bitch than a fake so i'm at the point where i just can't feel bothered to care about people anymore.

i am a jaded, callous bitch. i am not a barrel of laughs or fun to hang out with. it was something i never learned to be. i was not conditioned to be fun or joyous as a kid. i was not treated that way.

i don't necessarily want to be a bitch but it's the only way i know how to act anymore. if i really wanted to i suppose i could try to be more conversational toward people but i don't feel like it is worth wasting my energy (and it takes a lot of energy for someone with SA). i have grown to dislike people in general and usually don't give them much of a chance. sad but true. it is kind of a "get them before they get me" mentality. i always have a preconcieved paranoia that everyone dislikes me, is suspicious of me, or is judgemental towards me. at this i turn myself off- always. i don't talk. no eye contact (it is painful). all of this comes from insane insecurity and translates into "bitch." so i am a bitch.

i wish i knew how to be jovial, light-hearted, free spirited. it is so foreign to me. i wouldn't even know where to begin. i would like to be a more free spirited individual but i feel trapped by work/school. is there a way to learn happiness within the confines of this entrapment?

also, i am not sure i can feel happy when i don't feel like i trust people at all. i am waiting for them to fuck me over. how can i feel authentically generous and care free when i think the world is out to get me?

not to mention it is hard to be happy when it gets dark so early. god damn. i hate this shit! it's so depressing.
 
whispering_screams

whispering_screams

Well-known member
I always thought of myself as a bitch and I accepted that I AM one but people who know me think of me as sweet. That's one word that gets used most often. I rather hear complex and enigmatic though. LOL.
The ones that don't know me think of me as stuck-up and insane. (I assume). God only knows what kind of shit they say about me. I personally rather not know.

I think the reason people don't think of me as a bitch is because I have a quiet voice, even when I'm trying to talk loudly. And I never ever act like an alpha female even when I'm given the chance. But I can be tough when necessary because then my OCD kicks in and takes over. And makes me feel like there's no other choices, I MUST get my way and I don't care about anything else other then getting what I need.
 
sabbath92003

sabbath92003

Banned
Dennis Leary said:
Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real f**king asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear F**kin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Click to expand...
 
GloomySunday

GloomySunday

Well-known member
That was a very interesting post. I'm sure there are lots of people here who can see something of themselves in your words.

I think calling yourself "a bitch" is probably a little harsh, though. Clearly, you have issues in dealing with people but it seems to me that it's more of a defence mechanism than a personality trait. People who appear outwardly hostile or uncaring about others are often protecting a very fragile inner core. I get the impression from what you've written that you're trying to protect yourself from a great hurt, one from which you feel would "finish you off" for good, one which you may never recover from.

Ultimately, life is full of risks. Sure, we can get hurt by being more open and letting people see our vulnerabilities, taking an interest in others and getting emotionally involved, but we can also get a lot out of the experience too.
 
LordofTheNoobs

LordofTheNoobs

Member
My neighbor thinks im an asshole, i guess i am first time i moved here she complained to the office because i was parking in her spot.

Ok no problem ill move over, she cried about that only to have her car broken down sitting in the same spot for months an then not have a car at all.

Then she complained again because my lights stay on after i get out for about 30secs an they were shining into her window....One night i just got really angry an started flashing my lights on an off just too piss her off then peeled out of the parking lot.

Just now i saw her an a friend sitting outside talking about me in spanish little does she know im fluent in espanyol :D. An understood every word she basically said i looked at her like a murderer lol.

w/e though
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
I am a BITCH. Well, sort of. People probably think at me. I will never smile, acknowledge or talk to people unless they talk to me first. I need that much reassurance. I know I can be not very nice to people sometimes. But if people are nice to me, I'm nice to them. I feel like I'm faking it though. If I really don't like something, I know how to force iit off. I can be really mean sometimes....If people are mean to me, I'll most likely snap back at them to make sure of revenge. Luckily people are pretty much never mean to me though. I can also be really nice to people though, I try to be. I want to be nice to people but I don't want them to turn around and use me.

I seem like a total anti-social bitch, I'm sure of it. It looks as if I pretty much care about nothing in the world. I don't trust anyone either. A lot of people are manipulative liars and only use you for what they want. People are selfish. It makes it hard to trust the few genuinely nice people in this world. So yeah, maybe I am a BITCH.
 
Hoth

Hoth

1
dottie said:
i wish i knew how to be jovial, light-hearted, free spirited. it is so foreign to me.
Click to expand...

It doesn't solve everything. I'm not jaded, don't think the world is out to get me, and consider myself a bit jovial and light-hearted (though not in physical interaction)... but I'm still a jerk. I think it comes down to lack of practice, not knowing how to read people or what the appropriate response is. There's also an issue of self-control... I can be silent or I can say what I think, but I've never learned the ability to tell nice lies or partial truths or give compliments, as is absolutely essential to not being considered an asshole in this world.
 
C

chris87

Well-known member
I try to be nice to people, I really do. I feel like I'm a decent person, but no one has ever seemed to like me much. Actually, it's not that people don't like me, it's just that I'm not able to make friends.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
I'm a nice guy and i try my best to pleasant to everyone. What i really enjoy doing is when someone like my supervisor at work gives me grief and i just be nice to them just to piss them off!
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
I'm sure I have my slips in character every now and then -like everyone else- but no, I don't think I'm an asshole.

There are people who will say "hi, how are you" but eventually they reveal that they don't really care about the people they're greeting.

I don't think it's easy to even KNOW when you're being an asshole/bitch some of the time. Sometimes you realize it later.

I guess the only way to know if someone is an asshole is to know them in a personal level and see if they act callous toward people in need. Even simple things, like helping someone whose car broke down in the side of the road...

So I guess I may be an asshole, but I think I'm not, at least not consistently.
 
N

Nack

Banned
All the stress and regrets have turn me into an asshole. I get angry for no reason sometime. or maybe im crazy?
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
Nacke said:
All the stress and regrets have turn me into an asshole. I get angry for no reason sometime. or maybe im crazy?
Click to expand...

Probably pent up emotions that you don't let out due to SP. The solution is probably finding a physical activity, even boxing, jiujitsu, etc
 
NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Well-known member
*old thread digging*

it feels good to be an asshole sometimes.And it's definetely worth it.Some people deserve it.
I am usually calm and nice when with people.And they assume by this that i am a naive and stupid person.So i act like an asshole to prove them wrong.Of course i end up looking bad but you can't please everyone these days
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
I can be a bitch when I have to. There have been times when it was uncalled for though. I used to be much more of a bitch because I was so sick of people picking on me. I figured that niceness is considered a weakness so if I were to be a bitch people would stay away and not pick on me. I'm good natured though and I am less of a bitch since I let go of my anger. I'm much more happy being nice.
When someone has done me some injustice I can blow up and be very agressive so I try to not let people get to me. This comes from my childhood abuse experiences.
 
BlauweEngel

BlauweEngel

Active member
I don't think you're a bitch, I think its worse if you are lying about how you feel about others if you fake a smile or something. Being carefree and trusting isn't something you can just do. It might just be something ingrained in how you see the world. If you want to change that try to repeat those kind of feelings and analyze what is causing them. Is it constant paranoia that someone is thinking badly of you? Is it constant fear that someone might hurt you? How do you know what others think? Do these feelings show up as soon as someone tries to talk to you?
 
D

doesit

Well-known member
yeah im an asshole :) sa or no theres two kinds of people for me the ones i like and those who i hate :] i can easily like someone,and hate others twice as much.I guess its normal in our society to act like this because if you wont step up everyone else gonna step on you.
 
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