Anyone Beat SA?

I was wondering... I am new here. I want to really beat SA. Has anyone defeated SA? All I see in this forum are people complaining and trying to relate to other people... Did anyone actually become normal in here? I talked with normal people and they say everyone has anxieties, but you must face it and it will eventually go away. In this forum, I see people that are 60 years old and have not defeated it?

I don't know if anyone here has beat SA. I'm trying to force myself to though because I want to be a teacher. I can't speak for anyone else and why they're here, but my goal is to get a little bit better every day. I choose something I'm uncomfortable with like talking in class, and then that day talk in class. This forum helps though when things get a little overwhelming. Good luck

and what exactly makes us all abnormal? ok so social anxiety isnt something that everyone experiences but its not something that makes us other than normal. you shouldnt aim to be normal, just yourself.

personally i havent beaten it. in my life its just got worse but i try to do things to steadily get better, like trying to talk to people when i dont necessarily need to. you know, like latching something on when you talk to someone to make the conversation go a little bit longer, even if its just when your paying someone in a shop. you just have to be patient, although it does get too much sometimes, especially when someone decides to engage you in conversation, thats a bitch :?

i don't think i've beaten anxeity in general, it's an everyday battle for me. but i've been able to deal with it so i can do just about anything i want. i'm also on meds and been to so many counselors it's not even funny. i try not to sweat things, or i'd be curled up in a worry ball all day long.

Ummm, who says we aren't normal?
We could still be normal, except with Social Phobia, isn't that the only part thats not normal like everyone else?

my point exactly Emma. were "normal" with people were comfortable around and were still the same people when around people we dont know, just a bit more quiet.

I dont think anyone is totally comfortable with being around people they have never met.

From what I see, anxiety is something everyone is born with and to defeat it is an acquired skill. Just like learning to drive a stick shift; it was hard at first but once you get it you feel comfortable. I remember when I first drove a car I was really nervous; the same feeling I get when I am in front of a whole bunch of strangers. If you practice being in front of the strangers, the fear will go away.

I'm slowly beating it. I was completely house bound and basically room bound for a long time. And I went to a doctor and got medication and have been doing self cognitive behavioural therapy and I am a lot better. Of course I have my moments and problems and there is no way I could go to school (I homeschool and am going to take my GED soon) but I can associate with people fairly well.

I'm not sure you can beat social anxiety. I think you can learn to accept it and work around it. But I think social anxiety and anxiety in general are part of us and we have to take the bad with the good.

I've been trying ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) for the last two years and it's helped me a lot. For more info on ACT try:
www.actmindfully.com.au they have some free articles there.

I'm not totally cured of all anxiety just yet.....but I'm WAY better than 10 years ago.....i'm 24 now.....but at its worse I would never go to parties I was invited to etc....whereas now more often than not I actually ENJOY hanging out with my friends...[yes, i have friends now aswell! lol].......and at its worse I was totally detached and couldn't connect emotionally with anyone but now sometimes I often feel like I'm overflowing with love.....its awesome......and I guess at its worse the attitude in my heart was totally passive....I'd just keep my head down etc.....but now I'm much more active....I'll often take the iniative....its still scary sometimes but i don't think I'm much more scared than you're average non-SA person.

and what helped me....?...erm......well taking risks!!! DEFINITELY!.....but mainly, to be blunt.....it was totaly because of god and the bible.....that book has just changed me inside and out......and I think thats they key.....the bible has changed me soooo deeply with my views on the meaning of life etc that out of that has flowed this realisation and new understanding of who I am and why I have absolutely no need to be scared of anything......so yea, i think thats whats helped me the most!!!

sabbath92001 said:

I'm not sure you can beat social anxiety. I think you can learn to accept it and work around it. But I think social anxiety and anxiety in general are part of us and we have to take the bad with the good.

Click to expand...

I have to disagree with that statement. You can beat SA and not accepting it is how to do it. I agree that we all get a little nervous in social situations and that is normal for everyone. But SA is something different and you don't have to accept it. I have gone from someone who was afraid to use a phone, answer the door, go outside her own door, a woman watching her children lives being messed up because we coldn't do anything, to someone who can hold her own with the best of them and go anywhere that she wants. I was not able to do anything or go anywhere. But I am so looking forward to going places with my grandchildren. I would say that that is beating SA. I also beat agoraphobia, but still struggle a bit with depression.

FlirtyandDirty said:

But I am so looking forward to going places with my grandchildren. I would say that that is beating SA. I also beat agoraphobia, but still struggle a bit with depression.

Click to expand...

So soon you'll be telling us that you beat depression and aging too. That you are now growing younger not older. That you will live forever and never be sad or worried.

When I say accept it, I don't mean keep avoiding your life. We can accept that when we are going someplace or meeting someone that we feel anxiety. But acceptance doesn't mean we then avoid that place or person. Just the opposite, we make room for any feelings (or thoughts) that we might encounter along the way.

I've run into this debate before. People hear accept and think lay down and die. No way. I accept my feelings: anxiety, happiness, grief, elation, depression, etc. because I think they may be just biological. That is, a function of our human bodies that we don't have much or any control over.

ACT says we can't control our thoughts or emotions. Instead we control our arms, legs and mouth. We use our values to motivate and guide us. Avoidance is the enemy not anxiety or depression or happiness. Using mindfulness we can stay in the present moment and focus on what is going on around us.

Congrats on any progress you've made. I think we can learn to observe our thoughts and emotions without getting too caught up with them. Hard work and determination are good values.

Do I think I've beaten SA? No

Do I think I'm getting better? Yes, slowly but surely