another part of my story..

blueflavors

Member
have you ever like you're the most unlucky person in the world? maybe not anyone of you but i feel that way.

I have being unlucky all my life

Family? my father abandoned me since my parents are divorced, we didn't talk for years and my relatives they barely know my age and i have a half-sister, the last time i saw her, she was 2 years old and she's 8 years old and i really miss her but i can't do a single shit about it.

Friends? i've never had a good friendship, someone to lean on whenever it became tough to me, all my friendships, i'm the only ended up being hurt despite giving my everything and tryin to keep our relations.

Studies? They gave me a course in a far-away-from-home university and i lived by myself for a whole year, i became more depressed and i had many mental issues yet now when i thought my friend will help me out to move into an university i dreamt of, she chose another friend and i was left out.

Boyfriend? tbh i have one but my social anxiety and my current depression about maybe not be able to go to the university that i dreamt of, makes me want to stay alone all time and cry by myself because at those times.

I found out that many people used me as always, when i actually had decided many times to stop giving trust to anyone but i just idk, only mum is by my side which made me fear if i lost her what i'm going to do? i have no one pratically and i feel like im shattered every day...

I feel like a post-it girl or unwanted guest to everyone, i'm useful but meaningless to them, which made me realize im like the girl in the drama im watching currently while crying since this morning despite many hilarious scenes but she had a better life i guess lol. pathetic huh? anyway i feel better writing this, thank you to whoever is reading this and i'm sorry for being a burden to you
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
have you ever like you're the most unlucky person in the world? maybe not anyone of you but i feel that way.

I have being unlucky all my life

Family? my father abandoned me since my parents are divorced, we didn't talk for years and my relatives they barely know my age and i have a half-sister, the last time i saw her, she was 2 years old and she's 8 years old and i really miss her but i can't do a single shit about it.

Friends? i've never had a good friendship, someone to lean on whenever it became tough to me, all my friendships, i'm the only ended up being hurt despite giving my everything and tryin to keep our relations.

Studies? They gave me a course in a far-away-from-home university and i lived by myself for a whole year, i became more depressed and i had many mental issues yet now when i thought my friend will help me out to move into an university i dreamt of, she chose another friend and i was left out.

Boyfriend? tbh i have one but my social anxiety and my current depression about maybe not be able to go to the university that i dreamt of, makes me want to stay alone all time and cry by myself because at those times.

I found out that many people used me as always, when i actually had decided many times to stop giving trust to anyone but i just idk, only mum is by my side which made me fear if i lost her what i'm going to do? i have no one pratically and i feel like im shattered every day...

I feel like a post-it girl or unwanted guest to everyone, i'm useful but meaningless to them, which made me realize im like the girl in the drama im watching currently while crying since this morning despite many hilarious scenes but she had a better life i guess lol. pathetic huh? anyway i feel better writing this, thank you to whoever is reading this and i'm sorry for being a burden to you

I've always felt unlucky in my life as well. Won't go into it too much. Other than to say, I was born with a disability into a very dysfunctional family. Never knew my dad, either, until I was 15. From what I can gather from his name being strangely absent from my birth certificate, he walked out on me when I born. Or shortly thereafter. He treated my mum like shit, but she got him back by treating me like shit, undeservedly so. But y'know what they say: Sins of the father...

I've never had friends, except one during secondary school who was also disabled. We kinda bonded over that, really. And me being a few years older. But we never kept in touch once I dropped out, due depression and anxiety. And the overwhelming pressure to get good grades. I've never had a close friend whom I could open up to about my problem, either.

Never had a girlfriend, either. But I'd put that down to me greatly lacking confidence, having self-esteem issues and feeling uglier than I actually am. Despite not being ugly as far as looks go. And being kinda intimidating due to being a bit muscular and quite tall.

Anyway, sorry to blether on like that, yer not pathetic in the least. Far from it, darlin'. Just struggling with mental illness, like many of us on here. And I can definitely empathize with the feeling useful but meaningless.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
have you ever like you're the most unlucky person in the world? maybe not anyone of you but i feel that way.

I have being unlucky all my life

Family? my father abandoned me since my parents are divorced, we didn't talk for years and my relatives they barely know my age and i have a half-sister, the last time i saw her, she was 2 years old and she's 8 years old and i really miss her but i can't do a single shit about it.

Friends? i've never had a good friendship, someone to lean on whenever it became tough to me, all my friendships, i'm the only ended up being hurt despite giving my everything and tryin to keep our relations.

Studies? They gave me a course in a far-away-from-home university and i lived by myself for a whole year, i became more depressed and i had many mental issues yet now when i thought my friend will help me out to move into an university i dreamt of, she chose another friend and i was left out.

Boyfriend? tbh i have one but my social anxiety and my current depression about maybe not be able to go to the university that i dreamt of, makes me want to stay alone all time and cry by myself because at those times.

I found out that many people used me as always, when i actually had decided many times to stop giving trust to anyone but i just idk, only mum is by my side which made me fear if i lost her what i'm going to do? i have no one pratically and i feel like im shattered every day...

I feel like a post-it girl or unwanted guest to everyone, i'm useful but meaningless to them, which made me realize im like the girl in the drama im watching currently while crying since this morning despite many hilarious scenes but she had a better life i guess lol. pathetic huh? anyway i feel better writing this, thank you to whoever is reading this and i'm sorry for being a burden to you

I can relate to you as in I feel like the unlucky one in my family. Everyone in my family seems ahead of me. I don't really have friends but I'm trying to make some to be fair and I have no social interaction because I don't really talk that much except on online (I know kind of sad). Plus the friends I had I lost even the newer ones. So I can relate to you in that I feel unlucky and I've lost friends. Also I was reading another post of yours and I like k pop as well. P.S. I don't find your post to be a burden.
 
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