am I being selfish?

mads

Well-known member
To cut to the case.

It is you that goes to college. Not your mother. Ask her to stop interfering in your studies. If she wants to study she can sign up herself
 

Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
Parents tend to think they know what is good for you, but at the same time they need to remember that you are living your own life and sometimes need to find out for yourself what happens when things go awry.
 

dottie

Well-known member
you are not being selfish! YOU are in college, not her! geez. she sounds really controlling. nothing worse than helicopter parents.
 

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
^^ holy sh!t.. that would drive me nuts... she's acting like you're a five year old in your first week of kindergarten..... she's treating you and handling your college experience completely wrong. whether she has good intentions or not, it's just not healthy for her to feel the need to push you along the way your entire life. i guess all you can do is ignore the crap out of her. literally. you've told her how you feel. you can tell her again "mom, i understand you want to help and don't think i can do this on my own. it's college, not elementary school. i don't want anyones help. i want to do this on my very own. if i need any help whatsoever, i'd be glad to ask you. but you can't treat me like a child and expect me to ever learn to 'be competent enough to do a satisfactory job' if you keep doing everything for me. please, let me do this." and then, if she's still acting crazy controlling, then you have every right to pretend that your ears are stuffed with tar and you can't hear a single damn thing that's coming out of her mouth....
 

Ignace

Well-known member
You got a 1 in 10000 mum. Be proud of it ! To the point: you're not selfish, tell her you're not a kid anymore. If she doesn't understand do it like in the movies: shout it and go away. :)
 
In the end, you're the one that has to go to college. So no, it's not selfish at all to ask of her to back off. Motivation through pushing someone isn't a very good way I've learned.. Well, to some it may be. But if you feel overwhelmed due to your mother, then it's not selfish.

I haven't been to college, but I can only imagine that it's already stressful enough without outside pressures.

Unfortunately these know-it-all types don't back down easily. Stand your ground, and every time she tells you (or implies that you are) selfish or lazy, contradict her with words and actions. If you're studying hard, doing what you have to do, there should be no reason for your mother to bother you like that.
 
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