Advice :(

I changed my first name legally about 3 months ago, and my mum is being really difficult and awkward about it. The reason I changed it was because my old name was really difficult to pronounce/spell and I felt even more like an outsider with severe SA too. It's just got a lot of negative experiencse attached with it as a child and for me to feel confident and move on somewhat I needed to get rid of that identity and create a new one. So far,a few of my mums friends have been accepting and calling me by my new name, although there are others that haven't taken it seriously and still call me by my previous name. I understand that people, especially my mum will forget, but today however, she admitted that she didn't like calling me by my new name and so she continues to call me by my other one. Everytime she says it, a little bit of me dies inside, and with it brings embarrassment and shame and I just want to die. I did ask her before changing it, to help me pick a new name but she just point blank refused so I chose the name I liked.
Am I wrong in all of this?

It's your name. Yours. If you wanted to get a piercing or a tattoo on your body, no one else has the right to tell you tell you couldn't do that, either.

SweetCupcake said:

I
Am I wrong in all of this?

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only if your new name is actually SweetCupcake.


Jokes aside, though. No I don't think you're wrong for wanting a new name that you actually like. I think it's cool that you've taken responsibility for your own identity in such an obvious way. It's like on those makeover shows when those women have had their waist length grey hair for the last fifty years and the hair guy cuts it off and dyes it a proper colour and everyone is like "wow, so that's what you were always supposed to look like."

But let me just say one thing on behalf of your mom. If you are the oldest child of your sex, then the name she chose for you was her all time favourite name and she was probably fantasising about giving that name to her baby years and years before you were born. So when she calls you by that name, try to remember that she is probably not undermining you on purpose. She is expressing her love for you by giving you a label that she loves. Never mind if you are the fourth or fifth child. Same principle applies.

No if you really didn't like your name it is completely in your control. I would give your mom some time, she probably put a lot of time and effort in picking your name and was most likely very attached to it.

Or you could ask her to call you by your middle name or a neutral nickname. That way neither of you are unhappy.