Acting around the opposite sex?

Tmeister

Well-known member
Does anyone here have trouble acting around the opposite sex? i tend to withdrew myself and be quiet this looks like i'm uninterested but its not the case is even worst if i like the person.... damn i feel useless at times
 

just wanna b normal

Well-known member
girls-are-like-apples-on-trees.jpg
 

Interzone

Well-known member
^ That's a load of BS. In any case, I also have trouble talking to girls, if I stick at it, it gets way better. But of course, I may start to avoid them or I may think they find me uninteresting. I also don't know how to begin a friendship with said person. So typically the person just turns into an acquaintance. SAME DAMN STORY. EVERY DAMN TIME.
 

Feathers

Well-known member

AWW... That is soo sweet!! :)

Tmeister, a lot of people on this forum have problems with this.. see older threads too, they were very eye-opening for me to read...
I had no idea guys can actually be attracted to a girl very much and just scared to even talk to her before I read it here...

There are books and articles in magazines or online both for girls and guys... and from what I read even courses.. Some of those things really help.. again, it's good to use your head too..

I can sometimes joke around or talk but can be really shy too, so for many people it can be confusing.. If I get to know a person or am really sure he likes me and I like him too it's easier...
 

just wanna b normal

Well-known member
stop being afraid of girls! calm down! what is there to be afraid of? there not gonna bite you! u need to change the way u think! & if you get turn down oh well thats the way the game goes...btw that sarcasm was weak!
 

Forgotten-Children

Well-known member
This may sound COMPLETELY strange but... during the time when I was still in Highschool when we had to dress out for gym, I never liked dressing infront of the other girls. I had to dress in the shower area.

However, I feel completely fine around guys in that department (well.. the only guy who's ever payed attention to me in that way is my boyfriend so... >3> )

What does that say about me? o-O I swear I must be a guy with a vagina. >-> I mean, I've even questioned this when I was a kid because I never acted liked a girl. I'm boyish in every way.
 

Interzone

Well-known member
This may sound COMPLETELY strange but... during the time when I was still in Highschool when we had to dress out for gym, I never liked dressing infront of the other girls. I had to dress in the shower area.

However, I feel completely fine around guys in that department (well.. the only guy who's ever payed attention to me in that way is my boyfriend so... >3> )

What does that say about me? o-O I swear I must be a guy with a vagina. >-> I mean, I've even questioned this when I was a kid because I never acted liked a girl. I'm boyish in every way.

Well that's because around other girls you would be more self-conscious and compare yourself to them and also be afraid of them judging you. Whereas around guys, you know they are only thinking about one thing.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Stop being shy? That's a real good piece of advice there.

I think it might be helpful to read what some shy girls wrote on this forum, or what some non-shy girls wrote about shy guys, how they'd really appreciate it if they just talked to them, etc.
To see how they think, react, etc. It was very helpful to see what some guys can think, I was quite amazed..

You could maybe even meet some nice girls on this forum and get to know them, so you see they are just regular 'people' too.. And then it may be easier in RL too..
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Tmeister...

Its bcuz you put this girl or any girl you are attracted up on a pedestal..and out of your reach, in a way..a love from a afar type thing.

The first problem with this is you never see yourself as her equal or yourself ever being on her level...you can't connect with her and be your TRUE self...you are too afraid to reveal who you are and don't think you are worthy and thats a real shame BCUZ YOU ARE WORTHY!

If you can't let her get close to you or ever let her get to know you thats a real problem bcuz how can you ever develop anything with her..a friendship even..or hopefully something romantic and lasting.


STOP looking at her like an ''angel'' something perfect and untouchable! She is no different then you..she is human being with a heart, fears, desires, faults, etc.

She wants what you want; love, a relationship and a family of her own..she's no different then you!

Annnnd the poem was good, something to think about..i think you need to change your mindset or NOTHING will ever change for you:)
 
Are we talking opposite sex, in general? Or people we are attracted to, here?

yeah.. big difference there. I used to have a friend who was as prettier than most models, sings as well as a professional.. is smart and has a very outgoing personality. Quite nice too in terms of character (though a little fierce at times)....

My brain generally goes on strike when I'm with her. It's like suddenly a whole council of voices are screaming at me...

"She's too good!"

"La la la la la..."

"Oh wow..."

"She has a boyfriend. Shut up! She has a boyfriend. Even if she doesn't, you'll never stand a chance.. even if you do, you've got to be kidding me if you think you're good enough..."

"Warning: Your heart has just melted from her sweet voice."

"Uh... some help here?"

"Warning: Your hands don't know what to do with themselves"

"Warning: Logical processes in circular loop"

"Must stop feeling any kind of attraction"

"Warning: Your eyes are too busy trying to not look at her beautiful face"

"Warning: Your face is catatonic and hypertwitching at the same time"

"Warning: Your face just smashed into the wall because your eyes were confused"

"Warning: Total system crash imminent. Playing: "Heaven Knows" by Rick Price"

***

Well, not that bad but still..
 
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EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Around the opposite sex: I am nervous, because guys intimidate me simply because I have never been close to one before. (Not close as in sitting next to.. you know what I mean). I tend to act a lot more independent, open, because I'm desperate for a male friend for some odd reason.

around people I'm attracted to?(the rare girl): I feel ashamed to be me. Try to get away ASAP. Don't want to ruin any possibilities by even being in their line of vision! haa
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
The best thing you can do is show her who you really are so she can see all the special and unique qualities you have and most importantly..how you feel about her:D
 

Fml

Member
Tmeister...

Its bcuz you put this girl or any girl you are attracted up on a pedestal..and out of your reach, in a way..a love from a afar type thing.

The first problem with this is you never see yourself as her equal or yourself ever being on her level...you can't connect with her and be your TRUE self...you are too afraid to reveal who you are and don't think you are worthy and thats a real shame BCUZ YOU ARE WORTHY!

If you can't let her get close to you or ever let her get to know you thats a real problem bcuz how can you ever develop anything with her..a friendship even..or hopefully something romantic and lasting.


STOP looking at her like an ''angel'' something perfect and untouchable! She is no different then you..she is human being with a heart, fears, desires, faults, etc.

She wants what you want; love, a relationship and a family of her own..she's no different then you!

Annnnd the poem was good, something to think about..i think you need to change your mindset or NOTHING will ever change for you:)

great post
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I suffer from a mental illness- social anxiety- which is way beyond mere shyness. I have trouble acting around ALL people.

For me this is not about stop being shy. This is about overcoming a huge black abyss of fear of talking to anyone, or trusting anyone. It is about learning to trust again, so I can earn trust of others.

It is not about the dating game for me. It is about learning to talk without abject fear to anyone. I need to relearn to communicate entirely.
 
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