a panic attack?

I felt so stressed one moment today. It just came out of nowhere. I was just sitting in a classroom, there was no pressure, noise or other sources of stress. But then that strange feeling came. It was so strong. I felt like if i was losing control of my body, like if something bad will happento me very soon, like if i fall into epilepsy (i have never had epilepsy in my life though) , faint or die. That's right all i wanted is just to die to end the misery. So much stressing that feeling was.

I don't know why but i liked the experience to some extent. But i am very affraind of experiencing it again as well. That was so terrible, i think it wasn't the first time such feelings occured. Could this be caused by depression? I'm very confused. I just don't know what to say. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it depression? Or even schizophrenia?

... all this pain is an illusion.....

once you realize all the pain, anger, frustration, nervousness, anxiety, etc. is a result of a fucking chemical reaction in your brain gone wrong, you start thinking again about all that bothers you.

once you see that there is nothing more meaning less than a human life, and existence in general, you will stop making such big deals out of fickle matters IN your life...

travel, cry, laugh, dance, hate, love, fear, feel, reason... its all part of the experience.....

" we barely remember what came before this precious moment... " so fuck it.. live it...


do i make sence? no i don't... but nothing does...
its all a goddamn irony, everything's contradicts itself....